Join the club, make me feel better?

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 22:42

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e: THIS THREAD IS 10 YEARS OLD! No, I didn't bump it!
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So yeah, I'm 30, never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl. Starting to get worried about spending the remainder of my days alone :/

Literally everyone I know is married with kids, which doesn't help! I feel like I've completely missed the point of being alive. I just don't know if I'm capable of living a normal life, or if there's something broken that just can't be fixed.

And now, gentlemen, you may begin your mockery

Also this thread is srs thread too. I swear!

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 22:46

Zefan said:
This might sound a bit harsh, but if you're worried about it what are you doing to remedy the situation?

I'm a complete coward, so nothing currently

But then if I'm rational about it, I really don't see what I have to offer anyone anyhow.

It's hard to say this without sounding emo, but when I look at myself there's very little that's good about me. I don't see myself being able to attract any female sound of mind

OK, I'm not dumb as a brick, but I'm not exactly good company either.

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 22:47

Anewbe4u said:
Are you ugly? If not, why have you not kissed a girl?

If its nerves you can kiss my mrs to get used to it. Sure she'll be game.

I'm not grotesque. I'm not good looking either. But everything is there that should be there, and that's a start!

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 22:53

Zefan said:
Do you like the person you are?

Well I don't want to be ungrateful. I wasn't born with any physical or mental defects. The problems I have are probably of my own making.

But I really don't like where I am. Loneliness is a hard feeling to shake, as is worthlessness.

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 22:58

Doohickey said:
Serious reply!

Ok so have you ever been close to anyone? At work, socially, friend of a friend? It all needs to start somewhere, and if you're not exposing yourself (giggedy) in circumstances where you could potentially interact and develop a bond with someone then I think this is where you need to start! In turn this will boost your self esteem etc by default.

No, never been close to anyone.

I don't give myself a chance, because I can't talk to people face-to-face. I'm so focused on myself, what I'm saying, how I'm doing it all wrong, that after a minute of two of (extremely awkward) babble, I have nothing left to say. And what I've already said has probably given the wrong impression anyhow.

Seriously, there are times when I want to say something nice, and it comes out sarcastic, or gets mis-interpreted, or my body language is wrong or whatever.

It's my curse. Whilst I can type this and get my message across, my delivery in person is so bad it's routine that I'll come away from a conversation wondering how the hell it went so wrong.

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 23:00

Morba said:
so what are you doing to make yourself more attractive to other people?

Erm, hanging out in the PC Games section of the forum?

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 23:04

Yateszy said:
Makes a change from all the pimps here on OcUK.

Yeah if nothing else this thread should make everyone else feel better

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 23:08

Pav89 said:
You must have been approached by girls ...maybe at work, like what happens in the 40 year old virgin with the customer?

What do you do in situations when you have to communicate with a girl you like?

Also, seriously, what are you going to do about it? No more jokes about hanging out in the pc gaming forum. You very well know that isn't going to help. What do YOU think you need to do to change?

Everything. Absolutely everything. It's a daunting, over-whelming, mountainous task.

How do you re-invent yourself and make it stick?

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 23:14

HAz said:
you ever thought about a hooker?

It's not what I want. And no, I'm not going to start batting for the other team either

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 23:29

I'll consider the request for pics. I have a blonde half-fro at the mo, keep meaning to get a decent haircut but putting it off

Hair grows so darned fast...

Also wear glasses and they don't really compliment my appearance, just make me look creepier

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 23:39

Hold on, it's dark and my phone's camera is pants. Brb...

FoxEye · 24 Mar 2011 at 23:49

Subliminal Aura said:
Don't do it mate.

The forums pause waiting to pounce !

I doubt anyone that knows me will be reading this forum.... could be wrong tho! It's a gamble... uploading atm.

FoxEye · 25 Mar 2011 at 16:44

Mr Sniper said:
Haven't seen the OP reply in a while so will quote for good measure!

If the idea of going out to clubs just to pull etc are daunting to you then don't worry you aren't the only one.

Have you got any interests other than computing? Considered joining a hobby group of some kind. You may not meet a girl straight away but it seems you need to get used to the idea of talking to girls and getting into the rhythm of going out.

To the people saying to go to a club, considering he's mentioned most of his friends are married then it would become increasingly difficult to get a group together to go out and enjoy themselves.

A lot of people have suggested the gym and I completely I agree, I don't go myself by I always have planned to. I know a guy who is 25 and was 25st, within a couple of years he'd lost all his weight and looks awesome for it. He said it wasn't so much the loosing the weight but the confidence the gym can bring.

I've been at work, but I'm catching up with all the replies I've missed

I must say, even tho everything I posted is 100% true, I've had a right good laugh reading the replies

I'm not going for a hooker, guys. As some others have said, this would be emotionally devastating for me. The idea that I have to pay someone to "pretend" rather than finding a real woman who's into me would be the last straw.

FoxEye · 25 Mar 2011 at 16:49

britboy4321 said:
How are your 'standards'. They probably need lowering.

No I'm not aiming too high

It's more like I haven't picked up the gun in the first place

Actually I find most girls attractive. A lot of the time, even the ones that my mates say are "plain" or unattractive.

As for personality, well, I've never actually got to know a woman's personality beside my mum's. Since my time in a girl's company is mostly awkward silence -or saying something that I had no intention of saying but it just didn't come out right - I generally don't get to spend more than five minutes with any girl

Sounds pathetic, is pathetic. But I hope it's curable.

FoxEye · 25 Mar 2011 at 16:56

DM said:
No no no, your looking at it all wrong, she aint there to pretend, shes there to provide a service, have a giggle, then tell her to sling her hook when your done.

I know you're not being totally serious, but sex isn't the only thing I'm looking for. It might be part of it, no doubt

But mainly for me I'm looking for someone who could actually like me, accept me, want to be with me... and when I look in the mirror I see a big problem with that. I don't like me, and I see no reason for anyone else to either.

Now where did I put that "My Chemical Romance" album?

FoxEye · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:00

Also I should say, because this is being suggested a lot, I'm an angry drunk.

My mood generally gets worse, life seems more hopeless, unfair, brutal after a few drinks. Whilst other people get friendlier, I get more paranoid and self-conscious.

I don't want to irritate you guys by rejecting all your suggestions, but I don't think getting drunk will work for me. Unless I'm just drinking the wrong stuff!

FoxEye · 25 Mar 2011 at 17:20

dekez said:
Angry drunk, lay off the Stella! Seriously though it does make things a bit trickier if you can't get some dutch courage to help the conversation flow.

I'm curious you mentioned your mates, have you spoke to them about this? Can they not help you out, be your wingman on a night out or are they in a similar situation?

Have you ever tried meeting a girl in an internet chat room first then meeting in real life, you seem completely socially able from your posts here, might be a good way to break the ice and build that initial confidence.

I don't actually do anything with my friends. So I guess they're more like acquaintances. Some of them I used to go on nights out with, years ago, then they moved away or something like that (or got married and don't go out either!)

I actually don't have that much to do with anyone any more. So I guess before finding a girlfriend I should probably make and associate with some normal friends.

I haven't been on a night out for about 10 years.

FoxEye · 25 Mar 2011 at 18:01

DM said:
Iv had another cunning plan, what you need to do is attend one of them divorced singles and separated nights AKA grab a granny, its impossible to fail there.

I know your intentions are (good / bad / unknown even to yourself*) but this really isn't helping!

*delete as appropriate.

FoxEye · 25 Mar 2011 at 18:14

Those pics I took last night, boy am I glad I didn't post them. I look absolutely hideous!

I never really thought I was legitimately ugly, but the fact that I can't take a good photo of myself is suggesting I might have been being generous. I'm really a bit of a minger.

That might have a lot to do with my low self-esteem, too. I'm actually not pleasant to look at.

!(*&!

Now I'm depressed!

FoxEye · 25 Mar 2011 at 18:24

ck88 said:
op where do you live?

Cornwall. Anyway I'm off out for a couple hours. See y'all later.