Life.

Zefan · 29 Dec 2006 at 17:47

Neon said:
erm i meant 6 Months ago! and only reason i havent pushed again is because the last one hurt me a lot. and it shouldnt have, but it really did.

I thought this then fell in love with the girl living opposite me in my flat. Didn't hurt anymore. Best healer for that sort of thing is a replacement to show you it's not all bad, and honestly, it isn't.

Jonny L · 29 Dec 2006 at 17:48

What you need is a large number of beers and an even larger number of naked women.

Neoni · 29 Dec 2006 at 17:49

Jonny L said:
What you need is a large number of beers and an even larger number of naked women.

sounds good, party at yours?

Amp34 · 29 Dec 2006 at 18:04

Neon said:
plus if shes sending back vibes (the girl im interested in) then does she need to sort her life out? if she cant just be a friend with me?

Was that aimed at me? :confused:

If so maybe people misunderstood what I meant. What I am saying is if you see every female as something to use for pleasure (which zefans posts seem to point to) then you need to think your relationship ideas with females through. There is nothing wrong with being friends then falling for each other but not being able to be friends with any girl without wanting to **** them is a little wierd.

Neoni · 29 Dec 2006 at 18:10

Amp34 said:
Was that aimed at me?

If so maybe people misunderstood what I meant. What I am saying is if you see every female as something to use for pleasure (which zefans posts seem to point to) then you need to think your relationship ideas with females through. There is nothing wrong with being friends then falling for each other but not being able to be friends with any girl without wanting to **** them is a little wierd.

oh sorry i mis understood you, i see your point, but there is girls i have as friends and girls that could be well more than friends

Jonny L · 29 Dec 2006 at 18:13

sounds good, party at yours?

sorry dude you'll cramp my style <<< lol me = no style

besides I want all the woman for my self.

Nix · 30 Dec 2006 at 04:18

Zefan said:
I thought this then fell in love with the girl living opposite me in my flat. Didn't hurt anymore. Best healer for that sort of thing is a replacement to show you it's not all bad, and honestly, it isn't.

Wrong! The best healer in these situations is time, plain and simple. Women come and go, at the end of the day you only have yourself. If you can't deal with being happy whilst single, you're never going to be as happy as you could be when you find someone. You'll probably find that any relationship founded on such a discourse is only ever doomed for failure. Women want strong people to look after them, not needy boys and by just using women to 'fill the hole', you're being just that -- needy. Do you really appreciate your girlfriend(s) who who/they are as a person or is it more selfish? Do you 'appreciate' them because they make you feel better?

You do realise that finding another person to fill the hole that you have after losing someone is called a 'rebound' right? Rebounds rarely work because of the exact reasons I'm pointing out. Not only that, it's not fair on the other person and you'll only ever end up feeling worse.

If you're only using women to feel better about yourself, or to 'fill the hole', when you lose your comfort blanket you're going to feel very vunerable, whereas if you are able to stand on your own two feet before entering into such a relationship, you'll be able to move on more easily. I'm not saying it wont hurt, because it does, but you also realise that the other person does not define who you are.

All the advice in here [in this thread] is subjective. I'm only advising which I've found works best for me. By saying 'forget about the game' I'm not saying don't 'play' it, I'm merely pointing out that by not giving a **** you're going to be a happier person, you will also be seen as more confident and as such wont reak of desperation.

Nix · 30 Dec 2006 at 04:22

Neon said:
erm i meant 6 Months ago! and only reason i havent pushed again is because the last one hurt me a lot. and it shouldnt have, but it really did.

My original point still stands. Get it into perspective.

Learn to enjoy your own company, try and forget about 'needing' a gf as it's not a need, it's a want. Seriously, if you think about it too much, you'll end up coming across as desperate and it will feel like an eternity before someone does comes along.

Be happy with who you are and where you're going. She will find you one way or another

- That doesn't mean don't do anything if you find someone you like though!

Neoni · 30 Dec 2006 at 14:08

Dude its not a rebound, you got the complete wrong idea, i dont need, i just want a female friend, whos a bit closer than a friend? is it to much to ask, im sick of being around mates who are all partner'd up, you make it sound like im just after physical contact.

Nix · 30 Dec 2006 at 14:10

Neon said:
Dude its not a rebound, you got the complete wrong idea, i dont need, i just want a female friend, whos a bit closer than a friend? is it to much to ask, im sick of being around mates who are all partner'd up, you make it sound like im just after physical contact.

The rebound point was more directed towards Zefan

Neoni · 30 Dec 2006 at 14:14

Nix said:
The rebound point was more directed towards Zefan

ah i see. i just want a female buddy, a bit closer than a friend, somebody i can just spend nights with, and go out together etc, instead of being with mates all the time, yes i suppose a gf,

Zefan · 30 Dec 2006 at 16:01

Nix said:
The rebound point was more directed towards Zefan

I've done the rebound thing already and got ****** over. Not ready to do that again and know for a fact that's not what I'm going in to. I do agree that it is a very common thing to do though and is best avoided.

Neon said:
ah i see. i just want a female buddy, a bit closer than a friend, somebody i can just spend nights with, and go out together etc, instead of being with mates all the time, yes i suppose a gf,

Then ask the one you like best if she wants to be this girl!