Loneliness Has Escalated Into A Social Epidemic

Vonhelmet said:
There seems to have been a study released earlier this year reporting an average figure of £6,000 per person in terms of "health costs and pressure on local services". If you're interested, here is an article about that study. I can't find the full text of the study, but it was published by the LSE.
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ta for that.
"For a decade of an older person's life, the extra economic cost of loneliness is calculated as £6,000.
Over five years, preventing loneliness could see a saving of £3.6m, say the researchers."

it maybe my maths, but i can't reconcile that w/ £32bn a year :-/
 
wolfie138 said:
ta for that.
"For a decade of an older person's life, the extra economic cost of loneliness is calculated as £6,000.
Over five years, preventing loneliness could see a saving of £3.6m, say the researchers."

it maybe my maths, but i can't reconcile that w/ £32bn a year :-/
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When I googled I found all kinds of figures, but not the £32bn. Unfortunately MSN is like Fisher Price My First News so good luck on finding what source they were using.
 
I just don't enjoy the things that the general public seem to do. My wife watches all of the soaps which I think is garbage and my kids are way too young to have adult conversation with.

My friends are the same really, I don't really get to talk to anyone about what's really bothering me so I find myself coming here and on other websites just to "say my piece" and get some opinions back.

I'm surrounded by people but I don't often get to talk to them. I love my wife, my family and my friends but I don't talk to them about much beyond passing the time of day because I don't have much in common. Left with small talk for too long I'll become irritated and I've once or twice just walked out of family or friends gatherings and gone home alone because I just felt miserable.

I'm not an introvert, I'll jump on the karoake if I see it and, without blowing my own trumpet, I don't think I'm half bad I do enjoy singing and perhaps I should take some classes or something. I do seek out people to talk to, it's just most of the time it doesn't pan out too well.
 
mrk said:
You've made this pretty obvious numerous times before :p

Why do you hate people so much?

Do you hate me too? Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me! </Homer Simpson>
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Heh! Come on, you know everyone loves you.

 
Genrally speaking I am not lonely. Have a good group of friends but the general population can do one. They are morons on a massive scale, they can't drive, their all old and slow and annoying and half the time I haven't a clue what they have stuck up their butts that makes them such miserable *****.
If everyone did everything the way I said, the world would be a ******* paradise.
 
wesimmo said:
This is a very narrow view of what is right.

Some people are just natural introverts. That doesn't mean they don't socialise personally or professionally, just that it is something that takes energy rather than gives energy.

It's what I've found hardest about having a child and moving in with my partner, I no longer get a couple of hours at night or a weekend where I can just switch off from the "pressure" of having to socialise.

The difference between online and offline is that online you can respond or interact in your own time, or not at all if that's how you feel, not something that you can do in a social face to face situation.
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It is not narrow. It is just absolutely true.

You don't have the energy to share for the better of the surrounding world. Even if someone is looking for your help.
That's bad and that's exactly what quite enough people do.

I have the energy and enthusiasm to work for the common wealth. Do you have the willngness to change or do you think that the world is fine as it is?
It is not!
 
You're still not getting what being an introvert means, it doesn't mean you cut off from the world or don't enjoy going out and socialising.

It just means it's harder work. You could liken it to a physical hobby you enjoy, it's fun but physically tires you, being an introvert means you can enjoy being sociable but find it mentally tiring.

The stuff about working for the greater good is just waffle.
 
wesimmo said:
You're still not getting what being an introvert means, it doesn't mean you cut off from the world or don't enjoy going out and socialising.

It just means it's harder work. You could liken it to a physical hobby you enjoy, it's fun but physically tires you, being an introvert means you can enjoy being sociable but find it mentally tiring.

The stuff about working for the greater good is just waffle.
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It isn't a waffle. Do you have an idea how many billions in this world are treated badly because no one pays attention to help them in the proper way and to give them the same as some another billion or so people get? Because some have better politicians to rule them and others have politicians-idiots with the completely wrong priorities and aroggance to the heavens?

An introvert is a person (from what I have read) who likes to turn to themselves and enjoys to stay with themselves mostly and to work with the others to a much limited extent.
Introverts usually say to the others to be like them - to enjoy loneliness to some (or full) extent.
They justify this by saying that most of the time people spend with themselves.
Which is a very ugly behaviour.

I also get tired physically and mentally all the time. But that doesn't mean that I should give up and turn to myself. How will I contribute if I am passive and not mostly active?
 
XeNoN89 said:
Pretty much this. I prefer being alone than having to deal with other people most of the time!
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I hate to say this but i agree, most people in real life are complete ass wipes. I just keep to myself and my wife/family and that's it. I actually like spending time alone and have done so most of my life
 
Salsa said:
It is a worrying trend and one that is only going to get worse.

Those who say they are happier being alone without having to deal with other peoples problems, I wonder how much of this is brought about because they have never really had to deal with other people face to face due in this modern world we live in. Social media amd technology makes it so easy to "live" without human interaction that many people simply dont have the experience and skills to enable them to cope with human interaction, causing them to avoid it even more and compounding the problem.
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I was bullied mercilessly throughout my school life until i got to uni, mostly due to me being top of my class in just about every subject but particularly in science and maths. I wanted nothing more than be part of a group or click and i was thoroughly rejected at every opportunely and was in the fringes of school life because i was the "Nerd" and "Geek". It was a relief when i got to uni that i was finally with like-minded people who was as smart as i was but by that point the damage was done and i had difficulty socialising with my friends at uni. I was able to speak to them, but could never get too close because of fear of rejection and anxiety developed by years of bullying. And when in uni those friends started to form clicks and i wasn't included i was upset because it happened again.

So i decided from them on that if society was going to reject me, i will reject society. I spent my entire life outside of school and uni alone so i didn't feel a sense of loss about it. I had an older brother but he basically ignored me because he had major anger issues and moved out when i was still in my teens. I was used to it and at least when i'm alone i was't bullied or rejected. And when playing games or watching TV/Movies i was actually happy. It's incredible i had such a good love life i guess! I guess without friends to distract me i could focus on girls instead and at least that part of my life was successful.
 
ive never been social and find it very hard in social situations ,since ive become single i pretty much spend all my time on my own or with my dog apart from family meet ups or seeing my ex . of course i feel lonely sometimes but also after a day like today just hanging about in a sheltered spot on polly joke newquay just watching the wildlife it feels good
i dont want to change but maybe i should
 
I see this often occurring a lot with people who have a partner and especially those with kids, they neglect their social life to the point that they just spend all their time at home, and if their partner leaves them they are left totally isolated.
 
Energize said:
I see this often occurring a lot with people who have a partner and especially those with kids, they neglect their social life to the point that they just spend all their time at home, and if their partner leaves them they are left totally isolated.
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True, especially the person whose partners friends become their friends. You see this with many men, women seem to have and keep most of their friends from day one. When a brake up happens the man is left all alone while the female is busy having "girls night out"

Thankfully I have friends I've known for over 25 years and still see them regularly.
 
malachi said:
True, especially the person whose partners friends become their friends. You see this with many men, women seem to have and keep most of their friends from day one. When a brake up happens the man is left all alone while the female is busy having "girls night out"

Thankfully I have friends I've known for over 25 years and still see them regularly.
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You're right. But I'd say it's a (probably subconscious) action by women to gradually influence their male partners to become distant from their friends. Looking back I can see it in my own relationship. From day one my girlfriend (now wife) kept asking why I would see my childhood friend so much. Then she kept complaining when I would go out drinking with hm ("you're always out drinking with him"). After he and I drifted apart there have been other newer friends that she does the same with. Again it's the little sigh and the comment "always out with him").

Now I see that pattern in my own relationship I've realised it's also happened to male family, friends and colleagues.

Nowadays I don't let her influence me in the same way and I realise I was just as much at fault for allowing it to happen. So my advice would be to always keep your friends and stand your ground in a relationship.
 
I think some here have mistaken being alone for loneliness. Speaking for myself, I've spent hours feeling lonely in the pub surrounded by people and hours feeling happily connected to others while alone at home.

I think that social media and technology has allowed us all to present a very edited version of our lives online, where we only look happy, surrounded by people, and are celebrating. It's easy to assume, when that's all you see, that others don't feel sad, lonely etc and thus that we are failures or missing out because our lives aren't like those heavily edited version of our friends lives. I also think that the ability to communicate 'en mass' possibly also degrades the quality of our interactions. Prior to Facebook I might have phoned my friends to say I was getting married, for example, individually. This might have lead to lengthy and meaningful conversations about our respective fears of mucking up on the day or whatever. When my friends post such stuff on Facebook its greeted with 50 likes and comments saying 'congratulations'. Hardly a quality and meaningful interaction.

I think, in this age of instantaneous public communication, we all need to make an effort to engage with someone, or a group of trusted someone's, in a meaningful quality way but its substance of that interaction, not the means which matters in my mind.
 
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