Loneliness Has Escalated Into A Social Epidemic

[Angilion]

This sounds like me to be honest, I'm more than happy all by myself (so long as I have internet )
I own a small computer repairshop and can "turn on the charisma" as you put it when needed, that said I do have my off days where I can't really be bothered.
that said naturally I am a "chatty" person so will also quite happily stand and chew the fat with anyone.

My missus on the other hand would go mental if she had a day without leaving the house, she can strike up conversation with almost any random stranger quite happily.

So can I, but that's superficial and I won't do it in case they're offended and cause me hassle. I am social for my job, because it's part of the job. When I have a choice, I don't socialise at all. My idea of a holiday is to spend a week not talking to anyone or even seeing anyone. I usually end up leaving the house once to get some shopping done and if possible I'll do it late at night in order to meet as few people as possible and not have to interact with any of them. A holiday is a rest from work, so for me it's a rest from socialising since that is work.

I don't hate people. I don't even dislike them, on the whole. I'm pretty sure that an extremely large majority of people are at least reasonably decent people. That's certainly been my experience. Nor am I lonely. In fact, I think I am immune to loneliness because loneliness is essentially being alone when you don't want to be.

I wonder how many people are suffering from loneliness because they're been conditioned to believe they should be more social than they naturally are rather than because they don't have as much socialisation as would actually suit them. One size doesn't fit all. It rarely does.

 

[Kronos]

There was quite a sad programme on the TV recently about how loneliness effects more and more people in their twilight years where over the Christmas/New Year period where even local shops are shut for a day or so that these people will not talk to anyone at all. And then you have the situation where even families cannot be bothered to keep in touch on a regular basis with their elderly relatives for one reason or another.
My own partners son stays half an hour away yet it takes him all his time to telephone every few weeks. I posted that she had had her first exacerbation, she has COPD with only 35% lung function, on FB recently and he had the audacity to phone her up after reading it to complain that she should have phoned him to tell him, as she speaks on the phone using the speaker phone I heard this and shouted that maybe if he took the time to phone more often he would perhaps be more aware of her issues.
I have no idea why so many families seem to have less contact with each other these days but it certainly increases the feelings of loneliness in us older folk.

 

[Richie]

My own partners son stays half an hour away yet it takes him all his time to telephone every few weeks.

Doesnt that work both ways?

 

[Yaayuh!]

The Warrior Poet ‘Tomcraft’, circa 2003 if I’m not mistaken.

Sweet Jesus, I’m old.

One internet cookie for you, old geezer

 

[wolfie138]

I take pride in not having Facebook on my phone, but it does affect my grades at uni (not playing up to the expectation of replying 24/7)

huh?

 

[RoboCod]

Our continued disassociation from one another through media is clearly going to have an effect on us long term. The more acute examples are there to see in elderly people. My grandad for instance, he lost my grandma 2 year ago. Since then he regressed and pulled himself away from the public and the rest of his family. Despite all our efforts to get him to move to a more social setting either nearer to us or a residential home/elderly neighbourhood he refused and we watched him rapidly decline. He developed accelerated dementia, stopped eating and died just recently. This was all because he was lonely and gave up.

 

[Ayahuasca]

I heard this and shouted that maybe if he took the time to phone more often he would perhaps be more aware of her issues.

Not surprised he doesn't call/visit much to be honest.

 

[Efour]

Doesnt that work both ways?

This exactly.
I live 1100km away from my mum and try and Skype her once a week.
50% of our chat is usually her complaining how my sister who lives 30mins away never calls, visits or whatnot.
When I tell her to call her l she throws a fit, saying she shouldn't need to be the instigator, my sister's a terrible person and doesn't care etc.

Drives me bonkers. If you wanna speak you call them both sides should make an effort, but why not do it rather than moan. I know she wants the company. She could visit her any evening too... But it's too far..... Too late to ring. Too something. Too bs.

People eh? Some are there own worst enemies.

 

[Efour]

Doesnt that work both ways?

This exactly.
I live 1100km away from my mum and try and Skype her once a week.
50% of our chat is usually her complaining how my sister who lives 30mins away never calls, visits or whatnot.
When I tell her to call her l she throws a fit, saying she shouldn't need to be the instigator, my sister's a terrible person and doesn't care etc.

Drives me bonkers. If you wanna speak you call them both sides should make an effort, but why not do it rather than moan. I know she wants the company. She could visit her any evening too... But it's too far..... Too late to ring. Too something. Too bs.

People eh? Some are there own worst enemies.

 

[Kronos]

Not surprised he doesn't call/visit much to be honest.

Really, I shout once and I am the baddie, weird thinking.

 

[Kronos]

Doesnt that work both ways?

Me too.

 

[Vonhelmet]

My mother in law lives alone, as her husband died like 25 years ago, so since my wife and my sister in law moved out she’s been alone, even more so since her cat died. My wife and she had a falling out and it’s very awkward at the moment. She’s very lonely, but there’s some bad blood between them so it’s hard work.

She called the other day to moan about how we’re not going to see her over Christmas. Not that she’ll swallow her pride and actually invite us... ffs.

 

[wordy]

Really, I shout once and I am the baddie.

No you aren’t. You’re witnessing what I refer to as OcUKsyndrome. Where people become insanely desperate to look down their nose at others and talk down to them, in an effort to feel superior.

 

[Avenged7Fold]

She called the other day to moan about how we’re not going to see her over Christmas. Not that she’ll swallow her pride and actually invite us... ffs.

Surely that is her way of 'inviting' or as close as she is going to get to it. Knowing how lonely she is and that she called you up to just moan about it, i would probably just pop round with the missus anyway with some drink or food. You can always leave if you need.

Well, its up to your wife i guess, as it is her mum.

 

[Vonhelmet]

Surely that is her way of 'inviting' or as close as she is going to get to it. Knowing how lonely she is and that she called you up to just moan about it, i would probably just pop round with the missus anyway with some drink or food. You can always leave if you need.

Well, its up to your wife i guess, as it is her mum.

For my part I agree it’s as close as she’ll come to inviting us, but as you say it’s kinda up to the wife to handle her relationship with her... it is a nightmare, though. Women

 

[Ayahuasca]

No you aren’t. You’re witnessing what I refer to as OcUKsyndrome. Where people become insanely desperate to look down their nose at others and talk down to them, in an effort to feel superior.

Wasn't that at all actually, just pointing out when two parties are passive aggressive towards one another it's unlikely they'll make an effort.

 

[terley]

People take up too much energy that could otherwise be used on fapping, looking at memes and watching netflix.

Joke, i just hate people because they cause unnecessary drama, and everyone has an opinion nowadays, regardless of how retarded it may be.

 

[Vonhelmet]

Wasn't that at all actually, just pointing out when two parties are passive aggressive towards one another it's unlikely they'll make an effort.

Much like the wife/mother in law situation I’m unwillingly involved in...

 

[wolfie138]

This was all because he was lonely and gave up.

i'd say the giving up part was the pertinent part, not the lonely part. this is a key point; loneliness isn't exactly cancer on the untreatable scale of things so i'm bemused as to why it's becoming an "epidemic", especially for the older generation who are far more used to socialising than the younger ones who virtually live on their phones/media accounts.

 

[Puzzled]

i'd say the giving up part was the pertinent part, not the lonely part. this is a key point; loneliness isn't exactly cancer on the untreatable scale of things so i'm bemused as to why it's becoming an "epidemic", especially for the older generation who are far more used to socialising than the younger ones who virtually live on their phones/media accounts.

I think it sounds easier to fix than it is in reality, western society has become far more isolated in recent years and the rise of social media only helps to reinforce peoples own little social bubbles. Plus the elderly don't like to be a bother, parents can feel they are being a burden or that their children are too busy so won't call round / phone in fear of getting in the way. Those with no family or few friends (perhaps they had social connections through their partner so when widowed they've become isolated) can easily fall into unhealthy habits with poor nutrition, lack of exercise, poor sleep (falling asleep in a chair is common) and limited mental stimulation. Combine all those and your health can decline rapidly.

I have seen some interesting projects to help the lonely elderly though, think it was in Scotland where they set up a communal shed / workshop for elderly gentlemen who were either stagnating in retirement or isolated after losing their partner. Looked like a great idea as they could just go and tinker with a bit of woodwork or just have a chat with other guys, hopefully it will spread and open up to all ages as plenty of men are lonely. As we've seen in this thread you can have family / friends and still feel isolated and not able to connect with someone.