Make bad chatup lines even worse
- Thread starter GTA
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Soldato
Original - When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
Ruined - When I look between your legs, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
Original - If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
Ruined - If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 11 of the most beautiful things in the world. And you.
Original - Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
Ruined - (lights her dress with a match) Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire. Seriously.
Ruined - When I look between your legs, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
Original - If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
Ruined - If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 11 of the most beautiful things in the world. And you.
Original - Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
Ruined - (lights her dress with a match) Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire. Seriously.
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Original - (close hand with nothing inside and give it to her) "It's my breath from when you took it away" (open palm while saying this)
Ruined - (close hand with nothing inside and give it to her) "It's my breath from when you took it away" ( punch her in the face with your now closed fist ) "SURPRISE BUTTERTROLL!"
Ruined - (close hand with nothing inside and give it to her) "It's my breath from when you took it away" ( punch her in the face with your now closed fist ) "SURPRISE BUTTERTROLL!"
Associate
Original : Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here.
Ruined : Are you O.K.? Because you look like my dogs arse.
Org :Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
Ruined : Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's made one hell of a mistake!
Org : Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
Ruined : Hello, I'm a thief, GIMME ALL YOUR CASH *****!
Org : Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
Ruined : Was you father an alien? Because that would explain your face.
Ruined : Are you O.K.? Because you look like my dogs arse.
Org :Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
Ruined : Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's made one hell of a mistake!
Org : Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
Ruined : Hello, I'm a thief, GIMME ALL YOUR CASH *****!
Org : Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
Ruined : Was you father an alien? Because that would explain your face.
Soldato
Original - 'Hey, what's the time?' ['Why?'] 'Because then I know the time and date I met the girl of my dreams!'
Ruined - 'Hey, what's the time?' ['Why?'] 'Because then I know what time is "Munter's Hour" is'
Ruined - 'Hey, what's the time?' ['Why?'] 'Because then I know what time is "Munter's Hour" is'
Man of Honour
Original - "I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?"
Ruined - "I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to the attractive people?"
Original - "Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!"
Ruined - "Was you father an alien? Then how come your face is upside-down and inside-out?"
Original - "Wow"
Ruined - "UUrrrgh! *shudder*"
Original (although already crap) - "Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!"
Ruined (if possible) - "Hey, where did your smile go? My god you're depressing me...you're not an emo kid are you?"
Ruined - "I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to the attractive people?"
Original - "Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!"
Ruined - "Was you father an alien? Then how come your face is upside-down and inside-out?"
Original - "Wow"
Ruined - "UUrrrgh! *shudder*"
Original (although already crap) - "Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!"
Ruined (if possible) - "Hey, where did your smile go? My god you're depressing me...you're not an emo kid are you?"
Original - Has anyone ever told you, you have spanner eyes? - Why? - Because every time you look at me, my nuts tighten.
Ruined - Has anyone ever told you, you have spanner eyes? - Why? - I just wondered if you used them to tighten the bolts in your neck.
Stan
Ruined - Has anyone ever told you, you have spanner eyes? - Why? - I just wondered if you used them to tighten the bolts in your neck.
Stan
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Soldato
Original - 'Hey, wanna ****?'
Ruined - 'Hey, wanna **** off?!'
Ruined - 'Hey, wanna **** off?!'
Poor taste ahoy!
Original - "Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'."
Ruined - "Do you know karate? No? Fantastic!" ( proceed to molest her, safe in the knowledge she won't fight back )
Original - "Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'."
Ruined - "Do you know karate? No? Fantastic!" ( proceed to molest her, safe in the knowledge she won't fight back )
Soldato
Original - 'If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?'
Ruined - 'If I said you had a beautiful body, I'd be lying. Sorry.'
Ruined - 'If I said you had a beautiful body, I'd be lying. Sorry.'
Original : "I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?"
Ruined :"I'm leaving this place. Bye"
Original : "Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?"
Ruined : "Miss, If you've lost your virginity, I've just lost a £10 bet with my mate over there."
Original : "There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?"
Ruined : "There are 265 bones in the human body, and every one of yours is fat!"
Original : " You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls."
Ruined : "You have pretty eyeballs. I want them on cocktail sticks".
Ruined :"I'm leaving this place. Bye"
Original : "Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?"
Ruined : "Miss, If you've lost your virginity, I've just lost a £10 bet with my mate over there."
Original : "There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?"
Ruined : "There are 265 bones in the human body, and every one of yours is fat!"
Original : " You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls."
Ruined : "You have pretty eyeballs. I want them on cocktail sticks".
Suspended
Hahaha, five stars!GTA said:
GTA wins the thread.
Suspended
"Would you caress me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?"
"Would you caress me? I wouldn't normally ask, but I'm desperate and you look easy enough."
"Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night."
"Your legs must be tired. FATASS."
"Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!" (WHat? How lame is this line?)
"Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate. With some fava beans and a nice chianti."
"Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot."
"Were you in Boy Scouts? What? You're a girl?" <and proceed to puke in her face>
"Would you caress me? I wouldn't normally ask, but I'm desperate and you look easy enough."
"Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night."
"Your legs must be tired. FATASS."
"Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!" (WHat? How lame is this line?)
"Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate. With some fava beans and a nice chianti."
"Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot."
"Were you in Boy Scouts? What? You're a girl?" <and proceed to puke in her face>
These things just write themselves.
Original - "Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice"
Ruined - "Giant polar bear (What?) YOU LOOK LIKE ONE! LAFFO!"
Edit -
This needs posting, for being the single best line of all time, doesn't even need ruining :
"I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!"
And there was me thinking that pirates said "YARR!"..... although obviously its funnier if you stand inches from her face and just scream AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!
Original - "Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice"
Ruined - "Giant polar bear (What?) YOU LOOK LIKE ONE! LAFFO!"
Edit -
This needs posting, for being the single best line of all time, doesn't even need ruining :
"I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!"
And there was me thinking that pirates said "YARR!"..... although obviously its funnier if you stand inches from her face and just scream AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!
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Original: "What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle."
Runied: "What's that in your eye? Oops, sorry love. Bet that stings a bit :/"
Original: "Where have you been all my life?"
Runied: "Where have you been all my life? Mind ****ing off back there, you munter!"
Runied: "What's that in your eye? Oops, sorry love. Bet that stings a bit :/"
Original: "Where have you been all my life?"
Runied: "Where have you been all my life? Mind ****ing off back there, you munter!"
Soldato
If i could get onto the website with the chatup lines on, i would try contribute, but work blocks the most random things!!
But instead of me contributing, have 5 stars!! Thread has had me in stitches!
But instead of me contributing, have 5 stars!! Thread has had me in stitches!
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