Make bad chatup lines even worse

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Original - "A thousand painters working for a thousand years could not create a beauty that equals you."
Ruined - "A thousand barmen working for a thousand years couldn't get me drunk enough to bang you"

Original - "Want to see a picture of someone beautiful? ( hold up mirror )"
Ruined - "Want to see a picture of someone beautiful? ( hold up playboy centrefold ) look! LOOK AT IT! LOOOOOOOOOK!!!" ( after this, optional rolling up the playboy, smacking her on the forehead with it and saying "bad dog!" )
 
Original: Your sweater says made in USA, but I could have sworn you were made in heaven.
Ruined: Your sweater says made in USA, is that the only place that does your size?

Original: Have you got a mirror in your pants cause I can see myself in there later.
Ruined: Have you got a mirror in your pants, or the whole Edwardian dressing table?
 
GTA said:
5. I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
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That has made my day :D

"Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld."
"You, Me, and a midget makes three."

:D
 
Original: I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
Ruined: I'm feeling a little off today. Would you please move away, you are making me sick?

Original: You can’t be first, but you could be next.
Ruined: You can’t be first, no matter how drunk I get you would never be next.

Actually they are both poor I'm afraid but the rest of the thread is great. :D
 
awesome thread, i cant wait to have a go when surf control isnt blocking my damn web access!

i'll have a go, but it'll be lame:

original: are you tired? cuz you've been running through my mind all day!
ruined: are you tired? cuz if not you should get on a treadmill and burn some of those pounds you fat bint
 
"I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!"

"I'm a Love Viking, and I'm here for the raping! YEEEEAAARGHGHGHGHGH!!!!"



"Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I'd love to tap that ass."

"Is that a keg in your pants? or is it your big round leaky ass?"
 
Original: I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex...
Ruined: I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, why I only chat up the uglies...

Original: You know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like the Venus de Milo.
Ruined: You know, if we cut your arms off, we could feed the third world for a decade.

Original: If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
Ruined: It's like a butcher's shop window in here.

Original: Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Ruined: Is it hot in here or do you always sweat like a Grand National winner?
 
Belmit said:
Original: If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
Ruined: It's like a butcher's shop window in here.
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Brilliant.


Original: Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
Ruined: Your lips look so lonely.... stranded, as they are, betwixt your fat jowls.
 
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
--
You must be the coffee flavoured Quality Street, because you make me want to vomit.
You must be the coffee flavoured Quality Street, because no one likes you.

Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
--
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Naw, you're just a greasy (female dog).
 
Bad Chat Up Lines - now with extra added stupidness and surreality!

Original - "Hey, you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" ( No? ) wink"
Ruined - "Hey, you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No? ) "My one eyed tiger. I stabbed him in the eye with a screwdriver the other day, and he's really angry. Here, hold this screwdriver" ( At this point you stand to one side, revealing the raging mad, one eyed tiger standing behind you, which proceeds to attack her and maul her to death. Then you wink at her.)
 
GTA said:
Bad Chat Up Lines - now with extra added stupidness and surreality!

Original - "Hey, you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" ( No? ) wink"
Ruined - "Hey, you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No? ) "My one eyed tiger. I stabbed him in the eye with a screwdriver the other day, and he's really angry. Here, hold this screwdriver" ( At this point you stand to one side, revealing the raging mad, one eyed tiger standing behind you, which proceeds to attack her and maul her to death. Then you wink at her.)
Click to expand...

i want one of the things that you had after breakfast.
 
Original: I'm easy. Are you?
Ruined: I'm easy. Are you? Actually don't answer I can tell from here.

Original: Do you know the difference between a Big Mac and a blow job? no, what are you doing for lunch tomorrow?
Ruined: Do you know the difference between a Big Mac and a blow job? Looking at the size of you I'm guessing you do.

Original: If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
Ruined: If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public but you should still wear the paper bag just in case.
 
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