Soldato
Davey_Pitch said:
something of his might be though
Make bad chatup lines even worse
- Thread starter GTA
- Start date
- Status
something of his might be though
Associate
5* on behalf of all the guys in my office who now can't stop laughing
Original - Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight
Ruined - Sit on my face and flatten my head.
Original - Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Runied - Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a ****** hillbilly.
Original - You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
Runied - You're like a championship bass, yea, is just that smell!
Original - You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Runied - You've got 202 bones in your body, sorry, I'm not into amputees. (sorry
)
Original - I've got the body of a chippendale,.... he's buried under the patio at home.
Runied - I've got the body of a chippendale,.... you look like a Rolly Polly.
Ruined - Sit on my face and flatten my head.
Original - Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Runied - Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a ****** hillbilly.
Original - You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
Runied - You're like a championship bass, yea, is just that smell!
Original - You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Runied - You've got 202 bones in your body, sorry, I'm not into amputees. (sorry
)Original - I've got the body of a chippendale,.... he's buried under the patio at home.
Runied - I've got the body of a chippendale,.... you look like a Rolly Polly.
Soldato
Skiddley said:
LOL!!
quoted for both bad taste and hilarity!
Associate
org: I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?
Ruined: I've got the ship. A whale trauler. Guess what you are?
org: That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
Ruined: That outfit would look great under my patio.
Org: Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
Ruined: Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal for me to talk to you.
Ruined: I've got the ship. A whale trauler. Guess what you are?
org: That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
Ruined: That outfit would look great under my patio.
Org: Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
Ruined: Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal for me to talk to you.
Soldato
Otacon said:
Original:If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Ruined(even more): If you were a booger, wait, you are a booger......
Associate
well there is one chat up line that is both good and bad...
could you do me a favour and smell this cloth i think its chloroform
LOL i love it
could you do me a favour and smell this cloth i think its chloroform
LOL
i love it
mmj_uk said:
Meheheh! Good job there was no-one about when I read that...
Soldato
Original: Get your coat love, you've pulled!
Ruined: Get your coat love, your bingo wings are ruining the ambiance.
Ruined: Get your coat love, your bingo wings are ruining the ambiance.
Original: "Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!"
Ruined: "Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you couldn't even get a caution!"
Original: " Is it hot in here or is it you?"
Ruined: " Is it hot in here or do you just sweat a lot for a fat lass?"
Ruined: "Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you couldn't even get a caution!"
Original: " Is it hot in here or is it you?"
Ruined: " Is it hot in here or do you just sweat a lot for a fat lass?"
Soldato
original: I made myself a bet you'd be even better looking up close, and I won
ruined: i made myself a bet you'd be even better looking up close so I reckon you owe me twenty quid.
---------------------
original: Smile if you want to sh#g me.
ruined: gurn if you want to sh#g me.
ruined: i made myself a bet you'd be even better looking up close so I reckon you owe me twenty quid.
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original: Smile if you want to sh#g me.
ruined: gurn if you want to sh#g me.
Original: "Get your coat love, you've pulled!"
Ruined: "Get your coat love, I just ran over a hooker and I need something to wipe the blood off my bonnet."
Original: "Are you tired? ( Why? ) Because you've been running through my mind all day!"
Ruined: "Are you tired? ( Why? ) You remember that hooker I ran over? well, I need you to help me bury her. Grab a spade. Oh, and its cold outside, you'll need a coat."
Original: "Have you got any Irish in you? Would you like some?"
Ruined: "Have you got any Irish in you? You dig like a navvy."
Original: (Beckon her with one finger till she walks over) "If I can make you come with one finger, imagine what I can do with my whole hand"
Ruined: (Beckon her with one finger till she walks over) "Get in the hole. Don't look at me like that!!! GET IN THE ****ING HOLE!"
Original : "Stand still so I can pick you up!"
Ruined : "Stand still so I can shoot you!"
Original : "Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers."
Ruined : "Are you religious? Hope so, because I'm going to bury you."
The End.
Ruined: "Get your coat love, I just ran over a hooker and I need something to wipe the blood off my bonnet."
Original: "Are you tired? ( Why? ) Because you've been running through my mind all day!"
Ruined: "Are you tired? ( Why? ) You remember that hooker I ran over? well, I need you to help me bury her. Grab a spade. Oh, and its cold outside, you'll need a coat."
Original: "Have you got any Irish in you? Would you like some?"
Ruined: "Have you got any Irish in you? You dig like a navvy."
Original: (Beckon her with one finger till she walks over) "If I can make you come with one finger, imagine what I can do with my whole hand"
Ruined: (Beckon her with one finger till she walks over) "Get in the hole. Don't look at me like that!!! GET IN THE ****ING HOLE!"
Original : "Stand still so I can pick you up!"
Ruined : "Stand still so I can shoot you!"
Original : "Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers."
Ruined : "Are you religious? Hope so, because I'm going to bury you."
The End.
Last edited:
One more :
Original - "Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea."
Ruined - "Your eyes are blue, like the ocean, and baby, they're soon going to be black, like my heart."
Original - "Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea."
Ruined - "Your eyes are blue, like the ocean, and baby, they're soon going to be black, like my heart."
Soldato
Original: Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
Ruined: Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and my investigation now over now I've met you!
Ruined (again): Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fat B**** Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
Original: Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
Ruined: Damn girl, you have more chins than a chinese phone book!
Ruined: Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and my investigation now over now I've met you!
Ruined (again): Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fat B**** Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
Original: Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
Ruined: Damn girl, you have more chins than a chinese phone book!
Original: My name's Dave.... That's so you know what to scream.
Ruined: My name's Dave.... That's so you know what to tell the police tomorrow
Original: I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
Ruined: I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, do you really need it dripping off your chin?
Original: Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Ruined: Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.... RIGHT THAT'S IT, I'm checking myself into a psychiatric ward tomorrow.
Original: Do you need a gardener? (no) can I trim your bush anyways?
Ruined: Do you need a gardener? (no) Oh, sorry, it must be a hairdresser you need.
Original: Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
Ruined: Is your name Gillette? ...no? Well introduce your legs to him sometime.
Original: If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Ruined: If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a compost heap.
Original: I didn't believe in angels until I meet you!
Ruined: I didn't believe in angels until I meet you - there must be a yin to your yang.
Ruined: My name's Dave.... That's so you know what to tell the police tomorrow
Original: I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
Ruined: I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, do you really need it dripping off your chin?
Original: Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Ruined: Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.... RIGHT THAT'S IT, I'm checking myself into a psychiatric ward tomorrow.
Original: Do you need a gardener? (no) can I trim your bush anyways?
Ruined: Do you need a gardener? (no) Oh, sorry, it must be a hairdresser you need.
Original: Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
Ruined: Is your name Gillette? ...no? Well introduce your legs to him sometime.
Original: If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Ruined: If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a compost heap.
Original: I didn't believe in angels until I meet you!
Ruined: I didn't believe in angels until I meet you - there must be a yin to your yang.
Soldato
- Joined
- 29 Jun 2004
- Posts
- 12,957
Original: You seem bored. How about giving me your number so we can talk
Ruined: You seem bored. How about not looking at me like you want to talk?
Ruined: You seem bored. How about not looking at me like you want to talk?
Original: Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
Ruined: Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position, now what colour bag would you like on your head?
Ruined: Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position, now what colour bag would you like on your head?
Soldato
- Joined
- 29 Jun 2004
- Posts
- 12,957
HangTime said:
Read it once and I love it! ROTFLMFAO! I'm trying it on someone in school and I have to say that! Purely skillful writing!
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