Make bad chatup lines even worse

[Baddass]

rofl, good thread, nice work GTA and others

original: "If God had a refrigerator, a picture of you would be on it."
ruined: "If God had a refrigerator, you'd be rummaging through it you fat *****!"

 

[Yas786]

LOL great thread GTA, has had me in stitches most of the day . Heres my feeble attempt lol:

Original: Put your crash helmet on, you're going through the head board.
Ruined: Put your crash helmet on, you're going straight out the door.

Original: I think you're the light at the end of my tunnel
Ruined: I think YOUR blocking the light at the end of the tunnel

Original: Was you father a cement mixer? Because you sure make me hard
Ruined: Was you father a cement mixer? Because he should have made sure you had concrete boots on.

 

[schnipps]

Original: If i could be anything i would be your tear, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

Ruined: If i could be anything i would be your keks, born in asda, live on your arse, and die on your rusty sheriffs badge.

 

[Pumpkinstew]

original: <look at label in back of top> 'just looking to see if you were made in heaven.'
ruined: <look at label in back of pants> 'Wow. I didn't know they did em in triple XL.'
ruined: <look at label in back of pants> 'Wow. Nice skids.'

original: Yours looks are like spanners.....They make my nuts tighten
ruined: Your looks are like spanners....they make my guts wrench

Original: You've got a figure to die for.
ruined: You ever crush anyone to death?

 

[Pumpkinstew]

original: You're ugly but you intrigue me.

ruined: You're ugly but I sh#gged both your sisters and want to complete the set.

 

[B@Th*nG]

Original: 'Do you want to see something swell?' (lame anyway...)
Runined: 'Do you want to see something swell? Your already massive belly as i impregnate you with my illustrious seed...(follow with insane laughter then proceed with molestation.)

 

[Dinerty]

Original - "Was your father a thief? because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes."

It is corny, but still sounds good I think

 

[Zom]

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Do you know what'd look good on you? A paper Bag.

 

[loopstah]

An old one,

Original:Get your coat love you've pulled.

Ruined:Get your coat and **** off, you're so ugly you're scaring away the real talent.

 

[MuvverRussia]

guys this thread is absolute quality

 

[HEADRAT]

Original:If a said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me
Ruined:If a said you had a beautiful body I would be a liar

 

[Shikkaka]

"Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?"

quality!

 

[MoLt3h]

Orginal: Babe your so hot I bet your 1/2 of the reason for global warming
Ruined: Babe you emit so many toxic gases I bet your the whole reason for global warming

 

[HumanShield]

guys this thread is absolute quality

I'm expecting this thread to spawn many others along the lines of:

'I hate you OcUK, I used one of the chat up lines and now i have 1 leg'

or soemthing

 

[thelankymatt]

I'm trying some of these out at the weekend.... wish me luck

 

[Belmit]

Original: Did it hurt.... when you fell from heaven?!
Ruined: Did it hurt.... when you fell out the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down, fell into a bonfire and put your face out with a bicycle chain?! I'm implying you're unattractive. Drink?

 

[HumanShield]

wish me luck

not a chance.

with such comments as "Your lips look so lonely.... stranded, as they are, betwixt your fat jowls" (tee hee) you wont need luck. maybe a penis transplant after all the action you're bound to get

 

[thelankymatt]

Dont worry I have one thing going in my favour... a total disregard for my own personal safety!

 

[HumanShield]

Dont worry I have one thing going in my favour... a total disregard for my own personal safety!

in which case i would use a far more offnsive one if i were you!

such as

'Im Drunk, and you're still ugly'

if she asks why you said such a horrible thing, just say Davey_pitch on the intraweb told you to!

 

[Davey_Pitch]

in which case i would use a far more offnsive one if i were you!

such as

'Im Drunk, and you're still ugly'

if she asks why you said such a horrible thing, just say Davey_pitch on the intraweb told you to!

Definitely, used to work every time for me


Disclaimer: The above statement may or may not be true. The poster refuses to guarantee the safety of any individual who wishes to use the above line on a female. Your statutory rights are not affected.