• Notice regarding image hosts and attachments. See here.

Middle aged life

Rimsy said:
I'm sort of liking the midlife (very late 40s) crisis for the most part. The true value of friendship has become more apparent though I'm quite lucky in as much as I have 4 mates who I've stayed close with since childhood.
I'm reasonably fit. Play lots of sport. Get to do lots of "childish" hobbies I used to to as a kid but no longer care about being judged. Never ever go to a gym (the true source of misery imo). Stay away from social media. Have no kids. Have an amazing girlfriend. Financially ok via a job I don't hate.
Life could be a lot worse I guess as I remember being miserable in my 20s and early 30s.
Click to expand...
Sounds good. 5 years ago I would probably agree with you on the gym front. "Why on earth would you wanna pay to use machines sweated all over by other people?!" But these days, I'm really enjoying it. Plus I feel way fitter than I ever have.
If I had the space for a home gym, I'd set that up and cancel my membership for sure, but that ain't an option.

I don't time myself or push myself that hard, I just do what I want to do there each week and I feel great afterwards.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Feeling distinctly middle aged after a back spasm over the weekend. Thankfully it’s slowly on the mend but it really knocks the wind out of your sails!
 
40 now

Im managing physically really well. I'm grateful for this.
Still got same Issues (flat feet etc) that have always stopped me hiking mega distance/running. And I have to look after that part. And it hasn't really got worse as I've aged... Yet!

Concerned about AI in regards to my career. Just taking things 1 year at a time.
Another concern is losing health and not being able to do outdoors stuff. I know it will come. And I just hope that AI tech that will take my job can help out. Outdoors stuff stops me being depressed!

Trying to go on more holidays and we'll aware of making use of home time by doing something active every weekend at the very least (beach, hikes etc).
I'm really glad I visited Greenland kayaking and camping for 5 days. Travelled in Cambodia & Indonesia for a month and other "expedition" holidays. They are highlights.

Relationship is poop. But that's nothing to do with age.

41 tomorrow (wow that snuck up) and next 12 months I'm planning to move house and if our (me and gf) relationship isn't materially better when house move is coming up? May call that a day. Will be hard. It's been a lomg term relationship. Because there's no infidelity or anything like that. It's just I think we are moving in opposite directions.


When my GFs mum passed away a few years ago now at 67 it was the first "previous generation" above I've lost. And it really hit home how they (her parents) squandered time. But were well off. (gf went to private school for example). Just watching TV etc all day. My parents have done the same fighting over inheritance for 5 years + now. It's so long I can't even remember how many years it is. My mum is 70 this month. Can't understand why they've (all of them) torn the family to shreds over money?

I will not make that mistakes of both of these.


Really, I've got it good right now in this instant. But that unstable job is definitely always a block to long term plans. Part of me really wants to sell up and try vs life. But I don't want to be stupid and YOLO I'm well aware I will want to come back to a house. It's not all Instagram. But they say you regret what you don't do.

Current plan is to downsize/downprice in 2027 in house terms irrespective of the relationship. If the relationship dies this can be even more substantial. And buy a van. Then, if I do like the van? Well, who knows.


I'm excited about some future stuff, sad about another part, and worried about long term job. But it's not crippling.

2027 will be most significant year since buying house in 2020.



I always think of the line from a MUSE song when I think of getting older. "don't waste your time, or time will waste you". And it's very true.



Would I roll the dice again and reset? No. I think I'm quite lucky. Health is incredibly important. And we don't spend enough time or money on it vs tech/cars etc.
 
Last edited:
mejinks said:
On the road to 50 and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. Kidneys have quit completely, heart is with us in spirit, had cataracts done and really wish id left it alone as they botched it, but I still have my hair and its not gone grey (yet) lol
Click to expand...
Jammy bugger. I haven’t had hair for 20 years :(
 
413x said:
I'm excited about some future stuff, sad about another part, and worried about long term job. But it's not crippling.
Click to expand...

This is what we all have to expect now.

Unfortunately we are not Gen X or Baby-boomers when they could leave school at 16, walking straight into a job and stay there till retirement.

"Job for life" died a long time ago.

Lay offs and restructuring is all part of the job market it now.

Gratefully we are at a time we can learn new skills thanks to the internet.

Getting old should never be used as an excuse not to learn new skills.
 
Last edited:
I'm 56 now and not sure if I've had a so-called mid-life crisis. Just feels like the challenges of life.

I've had type-2 diabetes for several years, reasonably well manged and lost a lot of weight to help with that. But I know it's going to impact me in the future.

Last year I developed aggressive cataracts so they were both sorted last November. I've had very short sighted-ness and worn glasses since I was 7.

The only downside is work. I don't enjoy it at all and cannot think of anything I really would enjoy. Working from home has become so much worse since Covid, no more trips to customer sites etc. I spent 3 decades working closely with people and in teams and find it getting harder now. This has killed any interest in work now.

I want to spend my time on my hobby and we plan to do some travelling to Italy and Poland sometime soon.

I had a week off work recently and spent all that time re-modelling our master bedroom, with clearing out everything, redecorating, new flooring, wardrobes and door.

My knees are still hating me for that...
 
malachi said:
This is what we all have to expect now.

Unfortunately we are not Gen X or Baby-boomers when they could leave school at 16, walking straight into a job and stay there till retirement.

"Job for life" died a long time ago.

Lay offs and restructuring is all part of the job market it now.

Gratefully we are at a time we can learn new skills thanks to the internet.

Getting old should never be used as an excuse not to learn new skills.
Click to expand...

Yeah it's just the instability in the entire job that's an issue. And trying to compete in tech sector with AI growing is a complete unknown.

I don't mind chaos. I'm. Quite a chaotic person. But there are things in life (mortgages etc) that require, not job stability... But a job which pays similar or rising throughout life.

AI progress is too hard to predict. It could take years to make real impact. It could be next year. This is fine for most of life. It's trickier when it comes to big commitments.

Probably more sensible to go onto a no etc mortgage even if it is more expensive Month on Month.


It helps not having the responsibility of kids when your job sector is threatened. Because that would genuinely stress me out.



I envy the simplicity of my step dad's life. Walked into a factory job at 18 or something after arriving in UK from USA.. Worked there entire life. Retired with a final salary pension of an average worker today. And a massive house with no mortgage and bringing up 3 kids + us 3 kids. My mum didn't even have to work much. No need to for investing etc.
The envy is real! :D
 
Last edited:
Not entirely sure whether I'd term it a mid-life crisis, but I'm coming up on 50, and 18 months ago I took the opportunity to take voluntary redundancy with a decent payoff after more than 25 years at the same place. Plan was to have a bit of down time and potentially look at a career change. Reality is that I've been enjoying my '"temporarily retired" lifestyle and haven't been looking for work anywhere near as hard as I probably should have been. I did buy a sports car, which makes it look a bit more like a mid-life crisis but, in my defence, my wife made me do it.
 
Old Man said:
Sorry..
Click to expand...

It's not that bad but it's still not great.
From early 2020 to Feb 2022 I was confined to a wheelchair but now I get on a walking pad every day and do 2km in 20 mins so what am I complaining about :)
Got to admit I always thought I had a high tolerance to pain but it was the worst thing I've ever experienced.
It took me 15 mins to get in the house up two steps and then to get up my stairs it took over an hour of agony :(
However Consultant said it was so bad because I should have had it done in 2014 but it wasn't done until 2022 so that's why I suffered.
 
kaiowas said:
my wife made me do it.
Click to expand...
images (4).webp
 
I'm a bit scared to see what my mid life crisis would be like. I already have the fast car, dress up in lycra and go cycling and tell people at work what I really think.
 
mejinks said:
On the road to 50 and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. Kidneys have quit completely, heart is with us in spirit, had cataracts done and really wish id left it alone as they botched it, but I still have my hair and its not gone grey (yet) lol
Click to expand...

I had my second cataract done at 73 last year and they botched that, nearly losing the new lens into the eye. The consultant supervising rescued it with suction from an empty syringe and took over the op.

A quote from Ozzy Osbourne in his book 'Last Rites',

"But when you get to your seventies, you dont just get a cold or a sprained ankle, you get major s***. And....."

I too still have my hair although grey. ;)
 
Last edited:
Uther said:
I'm 60, I've been having a mid life crisis for over 20 years now.
Click to expand...

Exactly this and not to far behind you in age.

tres said:
I imagine there is a decent number of OCUKers who fall into this bracket.
I'm in my early 40s, about to tip into mid-40s. What sort of mid-life crisis did you have, and how did you deal with it?

I was once all about socialising, travelling, adventure. Now my favourite place is my shed, I'm considering buying a an enormous 'dooer-upper' house, I'm looking at shares in a private aeroplane, and I feel it is essential I start metal detecting. I think I'm giving my wife the ick.
Click to expand...

There were so much going on one crisis after another I didn't have time to have the normal crisis buy a car etc. By the time all that stopped all my original plans were null and void.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom