Middle aged life

[Hodders]

59 here - getting really unhappy about being 60 next year.

Dropped son off for his 1st year at uni, God it made me jealous. Being 18 again seems like a really really good idea.

As Leonard Cohen says "Well my friends are gone and my hair is grey and I ache in the places where I used to play."

With both kids off at uni, I'm really keen to try and recapture some of the spontaneity that we had before kids. Starting to discover the wife's idea of spontaneous is somewhat at odds to mine!

 

[Meaker]

59 here - getting really unhappy about being 60 next year.

Dropped son off for his 1st year at uni, God it made me jealous. Being 18 again seems like a really really good idea.

As Leonard Cohen says "Well my friends are gone and my hair is grey and I ache in the places where I used to play."

With both kids of, I'm really keen to try and recapture some of the spontaneity that we had before kids. Starting to discover the wife's idea of spontaneous is somewhat at odds to mine!

I'm sure you will find a rhythm for it, my parents are now enjoying their retirement for trips and the like and are having a great time.

 

[sprite1275]

59 here - getting really unhappy about being 60 next year.

Dropped son off for his 1st year at uni, God it made me jealous. Being 18 again seems like a really really good idea.

As Leonard Cohen says "Well my friends are gone and my hair is grey and I ache in the places where I used to play."

With both kids of, I'm really keen to try and recapture some of the spontaneity that we had before kids. Starting to discover the wife's idea of spontaneous is somewhat at odds to mine!

All I want to do at the moment is naff off in a camper van round Europe for 3 months at a time and you have 10 years on me. If I didn't have school commitments I'd be doing it.
I just don't think waiting until I retire to do things is feasible. Thinking waiting till I'm 68 to do things seems mad. I'm sure I'll be knackered by then. (Im I carpenter/multi trader and my body feels ****** already this is why I don't think retirement age is fair.)
I don't have much money but I literally would go tomorrow if I could. I want to see as much as I can while I can.

 

[HangTime]

Dunno if I'd call it a traditional midlife crisis but I've felt a general sense of malaise in my 40s:

• Quit my job without another one to go to and have done less senior (albeit better paid jobs) since
• Have very low motivation for work honestly feel like I'd be happy just hiding away doing very little. Struggling to be as incisive as a used to be, lots of procrastinating.
• I've never really had a 'plan' for life/work and that traditionally didn't bother me, but I am now starting to feel like I want some direction, I still haven't figured out what I want to do when I grow up.
  • This is sort of exacerbated by wondering whether I am just wasting away my life doing stuff like playing video games rather than pursuing some higher goal that would leave a legacy
• Feel some sense of regret at aging (grey hair, overweight, hair loss) i.e. the knowledge that every day I'm getting further and further away from my prime and reflecting that I should've taken more advantage of youth in my 20s
• Feel like housework etc is really on top of us, no time really if I want to do anything enjoyable after work and looking after kids etc
• My only living close relative (apart from my kids) turns 80 soon and I have this sort of fear about them aging, ill health, potential for dementia, death etc.
• General staleness of a >20 year relationship like you see a lot in midlife crises
• My sleep patterns have got very erratic the past couple of years. I've started feeling tired/weak during the day to the extent I will start dozing off which never used to happen, I occasionally take naps during my lunch break if WFH. Last night I went to bed just before 9pm (very early for me), woke up just before 1am and couldn't get back to sleep. It's very rare nowadays I will sleep more than perhaps six hours in a single block.

I'm contemplating giving a bit more focus to fitness as I've never really given that a proper go. I have a poor diet and have got a bit more sedentary in recent months. Motivation will be a problem but maybe I can look at gamification.

 

[malachi]

I'm contemplating giving a bit more focus to fitness as I've never really given that a proper go. I have a poor diet and have got a bit more sedentary in recent months. Motivation will be a problem but maybe I can look at gamification.

Sounds like lack of fitness and poor diet is starting to catch up.

After 40, last 20 years of not looking after our body starts to knock on our door.

 

[Trifid]

Sounds like lack of fitness and poor diet is starting to catch up.

After 40, last 20 years of not looking after our body starts to knock on our door.

It's also the time of year. Getting up and it still being dark, evenings closing in earlier, cooler weather. Remember your vitamin D!

 

[malachi]

It's also the time of year. Getting up and it still being dark, evenings closing in earlier, cooler weather. Remember your vitamin D!

Yep.

Dont end up 3 months on vitamin D injections. That wasnt fun!

 

[grudas]

It's also the time of year. Getting up and it still being dark, evenings closing in earlier, cooler weather. Remember your vitamin D!

stick to max 4000UI a day tho, it can be toxic and because of our very lax supplement laws in uk, some brands sell 10k, 50k etc.

 

[RavenLunatic]

Watching Lethal Weapon the other day, Murtaugh complaining about being too old for this aged 50. I am like 2 years away from this.

I am also the same age as Patrick Stewart was when Star Trek the next generation first premiered!

How did that happen, I am feeling old

 

[Penfold101]

I'm contemplating giving a bit more focus to fitness as I've never really given that a proper go. I have a poor diet and have got a bit more sedentary in recent months. Motivation will be a problem but maybe I can look at gamification.

It’s ridiculous how much difference exercise can make - I had to take four months off running at the start of the year due to injuring a part of my legs I’d never heard of and it wrecked my physical and mental health. I’m not a health nut or anything, but one or two 5km runs a week make all the difference to how I feel.

Getting back into it is always horrific, but it doesn’t take long for your body to adapt again!

 

[OspreyO]

A malaise it's a very good description of how I feel from time to time I think it's a form of depression.

Exercise and/or taking on a project helps with that. Easier said than done.

But it stops you from overthinking.

 

[Nutty667]

I have started doing regular exercise for the first time though which is probably more like it. Worrying about my mortality and trying to fix 40 years of poor choices to claw back some extra healthy years .

It's never too late to start exercising.

 

[413x]

All I want to do at the moment is naff off in a camper van round Europe for 3 months at a time and you have 10 years on me. If I didn't have school commitments I'd be doing it.
I just don't think waiting until I retire to do things is feasible. Thinking waiting till I'm 68 to do things seems mad. I'm sure I'll be knackered by then. (Im I carpenter/multi trader and my body feels ****** already this is why I don't think retirement age is fair.)
I don't have much money but I literally would go tomorrow if I could. I want to see as much as I can while I can.

I'm thinking of selling the house next year when mortgage expires and buying a camper. I'm just not sure whether to buy a cheap cheap house or to go all in and just not.

Pay cut + rate hike + feeling like life has no more exciting events + AI taking the perks away from my job.

Day to day I'm in a good place. Seeing friends going for weekends away, hiking, kayaking etc. But mid term all I see is uncertainty.

I've wanted to do it for a while. But it always felt "irresponsible" as I'm conditioned to be sensible with finances.

But I'm also getting more into a "you only live once" mindset.

These 2 sides of me are fighting each other.

My job was safe, well paid, easy but not too easy. So the safe option seemed best.

Now cost of living up, wage down, mortgage significantly up, job insecurity, times ticking. It seems less crazy to do it.

Nothing depresses me more than thinking of carrying on with a decline in quality of life and ever increasing uncertainty. But wow. It is so so hard to make this choice.

 

[cyber69]

55 here, just been for a CT scan on my heart, got high blood pressure and did have high cholesterol before cutting out the alcohol 7 months ago. NHS have been good, bordering on annoying due to the amount of blood tests, its like having my own medical team! GP surgery has been patchy, couldn’t get a blood test done in the next month so had to go down to local hospital.

 

[jpaul]

yes I've quasi removed alcohol, it becomes a habit at home, and going out, usually driving, so it's a no.

I had to take four months off running at the start of the year due to injuring a part of my legs I’d never heard of and it wrecked my physical and mental health.

having multiple sports in the toolkit helps avoid this.
Started swimming after ruptured disk, but last year with a running calf-muscle injury swimming became invaluable again,
do cycle too, but that and swimming are not straight out the back-door irrespective of weather/time.
Suspect that swimming is a for life sport, though.

 

[NickK]

A malaise it's a very good description of how I feel from time to time I think it's a form of depression.

Exercise and/or taking on a project helps with that. Easier said than done.

But it stops you from overthinking.

Doing a bootcamp. Cheaper than a gym membership, have people that talk to you, outdoors, and a very varied diet of exercise.

Today almost killed me, but recovered faster it feels so it's doing good. Blood pressure improving, as to are the joint support etc.

 

[sprite1275]

I'm thinking of selling the house next year when mortgage expires and buying a camper. I'm just not sure whether to buy a cheap cheap house or to go all in and just not.

Pay cut + rate hike + feeling like life has no more exciting events + AI taking the perks away from my job.

Day to day I'm in a good place. Seeing friends going for weekends away, hiking, kayaking etc. But mid term all I see is uncertainty.

I've wanted to do it for a while. But it always felt "irresponsible" as I'm conditioned to be sensible with finances.

But I'm also getting more into a "you only live once" mindset.

These 2 sides of me are fighting each other.

My job was safe, well paid, easy but not too easy. So the safe option seemed best.

Now cost of living up, wage down, mortgage significantly up, job insecurity, times ticking. It seems less crazy to do it.

Nothing depresses me more than thinking of carrying on with a decline in quality of life and ever increasing uncertainty. But wow. It is so so hard to make this choice.

Yes. I've always been about "get out and work" even if I felt terrible.

Going from that mind set to now thinking stuff it if I feel too rough or just not work one day and advising others in the family to do the same is quite shocking really.

Working in a lot of households and I hear so many stories of people dying just after retirement.

Talking to a mate who has travelled a lot and is set up financially. He's pretty much done with travelling and as he gets older just wants to travel around the UK.

He reckons he'll only need about £800 a month to cover bills etc when retired. Doesn't know what he will spend his money on.

Definitely I'm the next few years I'll be traveling in a van. Just hope the diesel prices are better then.

 

[marinersfan]

I'm somehow mid 40s.
Had very low motivation for years. I used to love washing cars, or detailing if you like.

Interest in anything these days is fleeting.

Bought some weights and was interested for a couple of months, not used them for a few weeks. I want to start jogging but have absolutely zero inclination to.

It's just a real struggle to get motivated outside of work.

 

[Arcane]

I'm finding the mid 50's little fun really. Lots of family and friends dying and less and less people to train with or go for a drink. It's all very drudgy.

 

[adam cool dude]

Watching Lethal Weapon the other day, Murtaugh complaining about being too old for this aged 50. I am like 2 years away from this.

I am also the same age as Patrick Stewart was when Star Trek the next generation first premiered!

How did that happen, I am feeling old

I saw mentioned about the new inbetweeners movie and it stated that they are actually older than Mr Gilbert was in the original series who was 39. I always thought of him as an old bloke even back then and now I am older than that!