Monogomy?

Roberta · 7 May 2006 at 21:58

There's still a world of difference between finding somebody sexually attractive and thinking 'I want to have sex with you now!'

I was once so engrossed with the lovely male bottom in front of me I followed the man in question halfway up his garden path before I realised where I was.

Burnsy2023 · 7 May 2006 at 22:06

Roberta said:
There's still a world of difference between finding somebody sexually attractive and thinking 'I want to have sex with you now!'

I was once so engrossed with the lovely male bottom in front of me I followed the man in question halfway up his garden path before I realised where I was.

What did his wife have to say?

Burnsy

Roberta · 7 May 2006 at 22:07

burnsy2023 said:
What did his wife have to say?

Burnsy

Our reporter made their excuses and left.

Rich_L · 7 May 2006 at 22:09

Roberta said:
There's still a world of difference between finding somebody sexually attractive and thinking 'I want to have sex with you now!'

Absolutely! It seems that a lot of the anger is based on 'Well I'd be really angry if my OH thought about having sex with some-one' - well yeah, as long as you bear in mind that barely anyone actually thinks that, whether they are single or not. On the other hand....regardless of your relationship status, chances are people are occasionally going to be sexually attracted to someone, which isn't something to be ashamed or angry about - just because you may find someone sexually attractive doesn't mean you're insecure in your relationship or not loved up enough!

Piggymon · 8 May 2006 at 07:47

GordyR said:
Right I haven't replied until now since I have been too busy to get on OcUK this past week. Anyway here is how I see it...

When I have been single in the past I have looked at a woman and noticed her attractiveness. I will even admit to thinking "yes, I would" on occasion... But this was while I was single.

Also, I have been in relationships in the past where I have thought similar things. This was one of the reasons why I knew that something was wrong and ended them quickly.

However, this all changes when you fall in love. I can honestly state hand on heart, that while I can appreciate another womans attractiveness, the thought of having sex with them seriously doesn't enter my head in the slightest. Thats what happens when you fall in love. Slushy? Perhaps... But also completely true.

To summarise:-

Do I look at women and think "I want to have sex with them"?

Single - Yes
Bad relationship - Yes
In love - No, the thought doesn't even enter my head.

As far as I am concerned if you are actively considering sex with another person then the one you are with isn't right for you.

*claps*

*high fives Gordy & Libs*

benneh · 8 May 2006 at 08:29

Hmm, bit of a scary thread really.

In the past i have been cheated on (4 yr relationship), and as a result i cheated on her. But i suppose it was along time coming, and i would say from memory that during maybe the last 12 months of that relationship i was walking around looking with intent.. But really i suppose that it's somewhat symptomatic of a slightly dwindling relationship. I'm a bit odd like that though, i can find someone seriously attractive, make the mistake of getting envoloved and then become disinterested. Probably because i'm drawn to them for all the wrong reasons in the first place (physical appearance), but hey!.
In my last relationship (ended recently) i would say that yes, i looked at women around me, and i appreciated the flavour of that particular woman (by that i mean really everything, be it boobs, ass or even just an aura), but i was happy enough within that relationship to not look with lustfull eyes.
So to summarise..

.. I personally (or for me personally) believe that it comes down to:
a) whether you're with a munter in the first place
b) whether you see he/her as a munter (remembering that we all like different things)
c) Whether you're happy, or if lucky in love
d) i have 3000 words to write and hand in by 1pm..

P.S. From what i saw when i met piggy and desmo i really don't see desmo as the wondering type (just my observation, but i pride myself on my judge of character - as we all do). Plus no-one wants a piggy slap now do they!.

Libs · 8 May 2006 at 12:44

Well i have just caught up with the thread. Thanks Gordy R for putting our arguement straight

Id also completely agree with Piggymon on all said! Everyone in the world is different and thinks differently. Like piggy said there is difference definately between the way men and women think. Like Gordy R said ther eis also a difference between how people think and act in relationships depending on if they love someone or not. The whole reason why certain people agree or disagree on all this is prob whether or not they are in love? Thats how i feel. I agree with Gordy R that in past relationships we have both acted very differently i.e poss seein men and women and thinking "I would!". However we also both finished relationships for that reason. I can appreciate a man is handsome but sleeping with him would never enter my head. I think this as in my personal opinion when you truly find someone your in love with you think they are the best eprson all round. If anything the thought of sleeping with them repluses you not the other way round???

Vonhelmet · 8 May 2006 at 12:51

Rich_L said:
However, if/when you look at another woman and think 'Hmm, she's fit' then what aspects make you think she's attractive? A great set of norks? A lovely pair of legs leading up to a cracking behind? Whilst I'm sure there is a capability for purely aesthetic appreciation, I would wager the thing that makes them catch your eye initially ain't the same thing that makes you think 'hmm that rose is rather beautiful' or 'what a lovely crisp winters morning'. I would say the base for attraction is more than likely going to be sexual regardless of your relationship status. Tis only natural after all and ain't something to be ashamed or angry about, unless of course you act further on it and go trying to get jiggy with the object of your initial attraction!!

I would agree to some extent, but say that the distinction is probably whether the sexual component of the attraction is subconscious or not. Of course all attraction comes down to sex and mating and all the rest of it, but there is a difference between merely seeing someone who you find attractive, and actually thinking about having sex with them.

nero120 · 8 May 2006 at 13:19

So let me get something straight. When the guys on here are doing their regular 'alone time' - they only ever think about their girl and no one (or thing) else?

Vonhelmet · 8 May 2006 at 13:58

nero120 said:
So let me get something straight. When the guys on here are doing their regular 'alone time' - they only ever think about their girl and no one (or thing) else?

You assume they aren't getting enough lovin' from their girl.

nero120 · 8 May 2006 at 14:06

vonhelmet said:
You assume they aren't getting enough lovin' from their girl.

Lovin and masturbation are different though. One is about feelings and the other is simply about jerkin off! As I said before, maybe it just comes down to labido.

Vonhelmet · 8 May 2006 at 14:30

nero120 said:
Lovin and masturbation are different though. One is about feelings and the other is simply about jerkin off! As I said before, maybe it just comes down to labido.

Hmm. That's an interesting post, as some would say that both sex and jerking have nothing to do with feelings... Interesting that you say the two are different.

Anyway. I'm not sure why a person would want to do both if they had the choice, but perhaps that's just me. Good sex > any masturbation.

nero120 · 8 May 2006 at 15:18

vonhelmet said:
Hmm. That's an interesting post, as some would say that both sex and jerking have nothing to do with feelings... Interesting that you say the two are different.

Anyway. I'm not sure why a person would want to do both if they had the choice, but perhaps that's just me. Good sex > any masturbation.

Unfortunately I find that both are necessary and have very little to do with each other. Habitual maybe? Yes I know, Im a ******!

Fully star it dude.

Otacon

benneh · 8 May 2006 at 19:40

nero120 said:
So let me get something straight. When the guys on here are doing their regular 'alone time' - they only ever think about their girl and no one (or thing) else?

I think about all kinds

. Definately not the Mrs all of the time (the ex) and i don't think that many men do only think of the Mrs. What would be the point in that?. Masterbation is about fantasy, not fact.. Or at least most of the time.

nero120 · 8 May 2006 at 21:14

benneh said:
I think about all kinds . Definately not the Mrs all of the time (the ex) and i don't think that many men do only think of the Mrs. What would be the point in that?. Masterbation is about fantasy, not fact.. Or at least most of the time.

From some of the sickeningly virtuous posts in this thread they probably think of their mother! :eek: