Guides are a bit subjective, depends what takes your interests.
Generally, bigger the frame, the bigger/slower your motors. Motors are chosen to suite the required thrust to lift the frame. If you don't have a 2:1 power to weight ratio, it will be sluggish. ESCs are chosen for the motors based on nominal/burst current. For example, an 1806 sized motor may draw 8-9A at wide open throttle. You COULD get away with 10A ESC, but it would be on the ragged edge and not accounting for Chinese tolerances

12-20A would be a better choice in this scenario, but anything bigger would be severe overkill price and weight wise. ESCs have micro controllers which run their own program separate from the flight controller, the two biggest camps being BLHELI and SimonK. BL seems to have come on leaps and bounds lately, so would probably be the better choice, I won't even start on OneShot/active breaking (damping), as that's a whole other topic. For larger craft, these considerations are less important, most ESC software will be more than fine for a 450+mm frame,
Flight controllers are also a matter of what you want. Naze32/CC3D/Flip32 all run on similar hardware (STM32 ARM CPU) and are the in thing for smaller craft. On the Naze32 anyway, there are two versions, a "FunFly" which is basic sensors and a "Full", which includes a barometer (rough altitude hold) and a magnetic compass (course hold). There is also the KK boards from HobbyKing, which include an LCD screen for tuning in the field, but these are only 8bit CPU and have limited usefulness (IMO). Some people love these, I've found them a PITA, where a Naze32 will fly pretty much anything stock, my KK2.x boards have required a lot of tuning/fettling. They are both collecting dust now...
What the new breed of 32bit controller lacks is solid GPS/compass support. They all CAN run GPS for return to launch, position hold/loiter etc. These features are at the mercy of the community and may or may not ever be 100%. TBH I don't know anything about the more "professional" solutions from DJI, and the likes of the Ardupilot project as GPS has no interest for me. I'd rather buy a balloon to drag about
FPV can be as complicated or as simple as you like, and the price has tumbled tremendously since I started.
If you want to get started with a cheap 250, which is an excellent entry to multis, this series from Bruce might be handy