Natural/in built motivation?

CapitalOne said:
You just haven't found it yet - keep looking. The same mate I mentioned above (he's a savant really) had this conversation with me whilst we had moved on to different Unis...

Me: I'm stuggling, I just can't take anything seriously
Him: You just haven't found something you like doing yet

It's really important. You spend most of your life doing work, might as well have a bit of enjoyment. I hate getting up at 5:30 to get the train in but fortunately I only have to do it 2 days a week now. Please try and work out what you need to do to have something to look forward to, work or otherwise.
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I agree, but you'd think by now I'd have found something, if it takes any longer then it may be too late. I do often wonder what the point of it all is any more.

The only thing I can imagine enjoying is being retired and having a nice house with a workshop to potter around in all day, but that's not realistic just a fantasy.
 
Telecaster said:
I agree, but you'd think by now I'd have found something, if it takes any longer then it may be too late. I do often wonder what the point of it all is any more.

The only thing I can imagine enjoying is being retired and having a nice house with a workshop to potter around in all day, but that's not realistic just a fantasy.
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I do wish you all the best of luck finding it. Maybe book yourself a holiday and take some time to reset. Don't forget the 40s are tough, you need to be comfortable (either in your skin or financially) to avoid being terrified of what is around the corner. I'm guessing you don't have kids? That's an easy thing to live for but also a well being hazzard!

If you are on your own, the only thing I have to say is take up fishing (or equivalent) I love fishing but don't get to do it really - I've never felt so complete as when I am doing that (and I'm rubish at it) by a muddy pool, a stream or on a boat in the Carribean.
 
Efour said:
MMO gaming. Meet other like minded losers and while away 12h a day achieving fat loot :p
If you haven't done it at a younger age, 40 is a good time to start.

also


take up smoking, youd be good at it.
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Apart from the smoking, i'd say this is a worth a go. Not that smokers are bad, just it's a quite the investment :P

Sounds to me like you're depressed OP. I've seen it in a few people and have felt like that myself. Being demotivated sucks, more challenges are always required for me to be happy.

It's a bit similar to going travelling or backpacking, most people say they'd wished they'd done so, but when you say just book a flight now for next year as that's what's required, they rally up excuses to why they can't or won't. Point being you need to do something at spur of the moment.

Though to be fair the majority of people do what you are doing right now, with maybe some holidays inbetween, how thrilling. Of all the jobs i've done, i'd rarely find someone who has interests that they liked to talk about, let alone a passion. However, that may be to do with the type of work i've done.

If you find a new interest, fresh social interaction with new friends should get you feeling better.
 
Don't get me wrong, I have tried various things and found some interest there but I always seem to lack that full interest that makes anything a passion. When you hear/see people talk about their interests or hobbies they're usually very passionate about them and have read or learned as much about them as they possibly can, I just seem to stop at the passing interest stage, nothing grabs me enough to become a serious time sink. I can tell you something about a lot of things, but not a lot about a single thing.

I did used to be a gamer, hence being here in the first place. I tried loading a few up recently but couldn't give it any more than 10 minutes before turning it off.

CapitalOne said:
I'm guessing you don't have kids? That's an easy thing to live for but also a well being hazzard!
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No kids, Mrs or friends, that's just how it has always been.
 
Just start doing stuff!

I bought an amazing washing machine so I enjoy doing washing.

New College in Swindon send brochures of evening courses, everything from guitar playing to massage courses. Sign up. Get it done. Meet new people.

Set up a personal Kanban board and stick to it.

We wouldn't get along in life. I'm a do-er and don't like energy-sapping non-do-ers.
 
!bluetonic! said:
Just start doing stuff!

I bought an amazing washing machine so I enjoy doing washing.

New College in Swindon send brochures of evening courses, everything from guitar playing to massage courses. Sign up. Get it done. Meet new people.

Set up a personal Kanban board and stick to it.

We wouldn't get along in life. I'm a do-er and don't like energy-sapping non-do-ers.
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Likewise I can't abide do-ers, in fact people in general are draining to deal with. But I get your point.

Like I said though, it's not a case of just doing it, you have to want to and it is where that desire comes from and whether it is just natural or forced. I'm quite stubborn and struggle to force myself to do anything I don't want to.
 
I'd like to try and exercise more- apart from that I get from my job- I struggle with exercise purely for the sake of it and wouldn't consider a gym but some kind of sport would appeal if I could figure out how to do that as a billy no mates.
 
@Telecaster I take your point. :p

Okay. Imagine being a Jew in Nazi Germany. Imagine everything you owned taken from you.
Imagine living in an infested hell hole of a concentration camp, never knowing what day would be your last.

Now please moan about your own life.

I'm a do-er because I have freedom to choose my life and don't want to waste much of it.

I look at history to realise how easy I have life.
 
For **** sake, this thread went to a Jew in nazi Germany.

Drink more bourbon whiskey and listen to guns n roses, and move on.

We don't ever want to go back there.
 
!bluetonic! said:
@Telecaster I take your point. :p

Okay. Imagine being a Jew in Nazi Germany. Imagine everything you owned taken from you.
Imagine living in an infested hell hole of a concentration camp, never knowing what day would be your last.

Now please moan about your own life.

I'm a do-er because I have freedom to choose my life and don't want to waste much of it.

I look at history to realise how easy I have life.
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I'm afraid that is a bit too simple minded of an approach. It may work for slightly IQ challenged folk though. Trying to offset your own problems against historical events or starving people in Africa doesn't work.

I want to know what is missing and why it is missing in me that means I've ended up here and hopefully understand how to change that, if it is even something I can change at this point.
 
Telecaster said:
I'm afraid that is a bit too simple minded of an approach. It may work for slightly IQ challenged folk though. Trying to offset your own problems against historical events or starving people in Africa doesn't work.

I want to know what is missing and why it is missing in me that means I've ended up here and hopefully understand how to change that, if it is even something I can change at this point.
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Have I got a low IQ then? :rolleyes:
 
Telecaster said:
I'm afraid that is a bit too simple minded of an approach. It may work for slightly IQ challenged folk though. Trying to offset your own problems against historical events or starving people in Africa doesn't work.

I want to know what is missing and why it is missing in me that means I've ended up here and hopefully understand how to change that, if it is even something I can change at this point.
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Volunteering?
 
Telecaster said:
An odd post, but I'm sat here on yet another weekend of doing nothing and couldn't think of anywhere else to ask.

I've always wanted to do things, get more from life but I can never manage to do anything about it, I was wondering where/how/what people got this magic motivation from to get out there and do things? Does it just come naturally or do people really have to try hard or convince themselves to do stuff?

I have no life outside of going to work and never have- I never plan anything or have any goals etc. the easiest way I can think to explain it is that I want things to change but it seems I don't want it enough to actually do anything about it. My life is literally taken one day at a time, I wake up every morning knowing the only thing I will do that day is go to work and eat, weekends are worse because I don't have the work thing (most weekends at least) so I just sit around twiddling my thumbs. I also can't seem to find any enjoyment in things, I will start doing something or trying a new hobby and just give up after 10 minutes out of boredom.
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Do you know what you enjoy doing? Have you ever thought about that?

If your list of "things I like" is a bit uninspiring, get out and try new things. Go to a tango class, take up kung fu, go to Anglesey. Try new things. If you don't like those, you haven't wasted your time- you have learned something about you.
 
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