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Haven't posted in this thread or really looked in it before, probably should have before now. But my wife is approaching 39 weeks with our first. So the countdown is truly on now! Wish us luck aghhhhh. I don't know much about raising a baby but if my younger brother has managed it so far for the last few months with his newborn I figure I have a good chance :D
 
Our 10 month old is still breast fed right before bed but getting him to stay down is difficult. He often won't go down for mum then I go in and cuddle him and humm to him on my chest. He screams at the top of his lungs and works himself into such a sweat when I do this but I'm sure he's just in a strop because he knows what the score is and fighting the inevitable. However, the Mrs will then come back in because she can't stand the screaming and gets in a stress. She takes him off me and can then spend up to an hour getting him to eventually drop off. This inevitably ruins any plans we might have and I feel it's undermining any chance I might have of getting him to settle for me for once.
 
RoboCod said:
Our 10 month old is still breast fed right before bed but getting him to stay down is difficult. He often won't go down for mum then I go in and cuddle him and humm to him on my chest. He screams at the top of his lungs and works himself into such a sweat when I do this but I'm sure he's just in a strop because he knows what the score is and fighting the inevitable. However, the Mrs will then come back in because she can't stand the screaming and gets in a stress. She takes him off me and can then spend up to an hour getting him to eventually drop off. This inevitably ruins any plans we might have and I feel it's undermining any chance I might have of getting him to settle for me for once.
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Sounds like when we had our first, it's funny how your mentality changes when you have more kids. Our 3rd who is 14 month now cries when we put him down, usually for 5/10 mins but we don't bat an eyelid. Our first would cry for 30 seconds and we'd be in some panic that we're being mean to her. We could also take hours shushing and singing lullabies. Our second was a lot different and just went down without a fuss.
There is no real solution to your situation other than letting him cry and he will eventually get used to it.
 
I didn't read any books. You figure it out as you go. Not rocket science.
Only thing I would suggest is doing the baby first aid course and go to the antenatal classes. You will learn everything you need then.
Part of the fun is doing things your way that's how they end up an individual and you need to find a way and routine that works for you. Not what some book says.
 
NVP said:
You just let him ball for 10mins without comforting or interacting with the baby? Or have I got the wrong end of the stick here.
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Yup, I didn't want to say the phrase but controlled crying does indeed work. He settles eventually and goes to sleep until 8am the following morning. I'm not going to go in every time he cries. It's also not scream crying, nor is it every day, it's just sad crying that his mummy and daddy have put him to bed where he doesn't want to go!
 
It's a tough one. I know she will not let him cry to sleep, so settling him off with the hope he's then down for a good length of time is the only way. Problem is, she gets stressed that he's not settling, sometimes she has gotten a bit heavy handed with him. I go in and then battle it out without breasts (he won't take a bottle), trying to calm him. She then comes back in after 15mins of him screaming and takes over again. Rinse and repeat. I'd happily just lay there and get him off, I think because he doesn't smell milk/mum he tends to nod off for longer with me. It's frustrating for me though since I'm wasting my time most of the nights with her keep dipping in and out "ooh he's crying really bad, something must really be up"... Seconds later, giggling and cooing :rolleyes: women really are lunatics.
 
Sometimes the go through a phase of cluster feeding, or clingy for contact with mummy & daddy. Persevere but theres nothing wrong with just letting them cotch on your chest until they're in a deep sleep :) sleep training can happen as and when theyre ready, my eldest let us know.

RoboCod said:
I think because he doesn't smell milk/mum he tends to nod off for longer with me.
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A calm presence does wonders. Positive chilled vibes, babies seem to feel it.
 
RoboCod said:
It's a tough one. I know she will not let him cry to sleep, so settling him off with the hope he's then down for a good length of time is the only way. Problem is, she gets stressed that he's not settling, sometimes she has gotten a bit heavy handed with him. I go in and then battle it out without breasts (he won't take a bottle), trying to calm him. She then comes back in after 15mins of him screaming and takes over again. Rinse and repeat. I'd happily just lay there and get him off, I think because he doesn't smell milk/mum he tends to nod off for longer with me. It's frustrating for me though since I'm wasting my time most of the nights with her keep dipping in and out "ooh he's crying really bad, something must really be up"... Seconds later, giggling and cooing :rolleyes: women really are lunatics.
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The first one would only ever settle and go to sleep on the breast, so every night falling asleep on Mum then trying to get into the cot without making a sound, it was a nightmare. The second one was also breast fed but able to be taken off and put in the cot awake, he would then fall asleep on his own. 3rd one was bottle fed and a god send really for sleep.
 
Bomb disposal / ninja skills trying to put the baby in the cot without waking them. Eventually it gets better.

@RoboCod - don’t be disheartened, boob/milk is a magical comforter and I wouldn’t feel upset that your son prefers that. Might also be going through a growth spurt or starting teething which is always better with boob assistance. There’s not much worse than a baby who is screaming their lungs out while you’re trying to settle them. It’s doubly hard for the mother as there’ll be a mega letdown reflex if he’s still feeding a lot.
 
Cheers gents. I'm not disheartened with the lack of bottle @tom_nieto, I was the one keen for breast over bottle, she was always dubious to start. I guess my grumbling is just about the woman and her manic behaviour at times when I'm all "lets just chill" :p... I must be the most annoying **** to live with.
 
Our daughter would not go down without breastfeeding and it was pointless even trying for the most part. Weird thing is, she loved an afternoon nap with me but at night it was a different matter.

At 18 months, she just decided she didn't want the boob anymore and that was the end of that. No gradual weaning, no reduced feeds, just one day she stopped.
 
Sophia was much like that also.. A few months in and decided she needed more, so started feeding her boob and formula and then she stopped with boob during the day and just at night and now it's just bottle/feed.... I must admit we are very lucky, she sleeps for the most part of the night if not all the night and I don't often hear her but sometimes the misses tells me she was screaming or upset, I'm flat out.. I suppose it's the late nights that help me get into a deep sleep...

That said I have found that because the misses is younger than me and it's her first, she's not got the ability to chill out if Sophia plays up a little... A good example is her clothes getting a little dirty when she's fed, I swear my misses lives on another planet sometimes.... Or at least has come from one...

But still, that all said... When I do get home, we bath Sophia, I give her a bottle and she's out cold within 5 minutes.. She'll occassionally have a bit of a fit and won't give in, but just remaining calm and not showing Sophia that your getting wound up at all is a god send. I really do believe babies know when your stressing out, I swear Sophia knows... Cuddles with Mum sometimes and she's screaming away, a cuddle with me, 10 seconds later and Sophia is more often than not, chilled out and not even worrieded.... I love my little lady :) What a gem :D
 
phill9800 said:
I really do believe babies know when your stressing out,
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Definitely. They are all instinct at that age and feel our "energy", plus whatever that weird blood relative psychic connection phenomenon is must also play a part because they know when you're thinking about them and wake up hahaha :)
 
Mak3R said:
Haven't posted in this thread or really looked in it before, probably should have before now. But my wife is approaching 39 weeks with our first. So the countdown is truly on now! Wish us luck aghhhhh. I don't know much about raising a baby but if my younger brother has managed it so far for the last few months with his newborn I figure I have a good chance :D
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Good luck mate! It's a hell of a ride, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. You'll have the whole thing figured out in a week or two, guaranteed. It's pretty straightforward at the beginning (hungry/dirty nappy/tired/hugs to stop crying) and you'll suss the rest out. Just stock up on loads of wipes, nappies, muslin squares and grow suits and you can't go far wrong. Have a bit of formula on hand BTW, breast feeding can be tricky so it's good to have it. Felt like a pillock at the hospital when we didn't have any and couldn't get ours to breast feed.

Do you know what you're having?
 
Busy night with both today, feeling I'll be battered for work :(
Mak3R said:
I don't know much about raising a baby but if my younger brother has managed it so far for the last few months with his newborn I figure I have a good chance :D
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Haha you're gonna be just fine :D
 
NVP said:
You just let him ball for 10mins without comforting or interacting with the baby? Or have I got the wrong end of the stick here.
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We do controlled crying as well. Lasted a few days now he will go in the bed wide awake and fall asleep in his own time.
 
Ah, got you guys. We took the pick up put down approach and after a lot of grafting on our part it's worked great with our eldest.
 
Thanks for the responses guys, planning to pretty much take a common sense approach really as lots say every kids different, still it's nice to do a bit of reading in advance just to know some of the theory. I have no doubt the real thing will blow everything out of the water :D
 
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