Banana+calpol before bed
OcUK Dadsnet thread
- Thread starter Devrij
- Start date
My 4 year old excitedly tried to explain the big bang to me last night straight after I got home from work, anything space or science related and he can barely contain his excitement and keep it inside. I really dread the day that he loses this excitement over everything new and unexplained.
Sounds horribly familiar. The teething process was created by god to test our love for our children. Stay patient and it will pass soon.
Soldato
- Joined
- 14 Mar 2011
- Posts
- 5,441
We are also at ~18 months and dealing with the latest (and according to the literature possibly - hopefully - the last) big regression... so lots of restless nights, refusing naps, not eating well, getting extremely frustrated at everything. Just got to try our best to stay consistent with the routines and things and ride it out 
We are also at ~18 months and dealing with the latest (and according to the literature possibly - hopefully - the last) big regression... so lots of restless nights, refusing naps, not eating well, getting extremely frustrated at everything. Just got to try our best to stay consistent with the routines and things and ride it out
I always found the concept of 'sleep regressions' interesting, we're only on our first 3 month old so yet to experience one yet my friend who has a two year old has told of their awful 'sleep regressions'. Surely there is a reason why their sleep pattern/bedtime routine has regressed rather than it all just falling apart for no reason, whether that be teething or separation anxiety or whatever other reason? I realise this is probably way more difficult in practice to understand the underlying reason but would be interested to hear your experiences.
I think these sorts of regressions are normally understood to be the result of the child's normal physical development. As the brain and the rest of their nervous and other systems develop, it just totally changes how their body is working.
Not an expert at all, that's just my understanding of reading I did about it at the time, made sense to me. You establish a routine, it works well, stick to it, and BAM everything falls to pieces. The good news is most of the time it doesn't take too long to find a new equilibrium.
The whole regression thing is BS. I don't know why people expect kids to be different to you and I. Or are you telling me you religiously whack your head on the pillow, drift off, and jobs a good 'en? You'll have nights when you have niggles, pains, cramps, things on your mind - you'll have times where you lay awake for hours and others you'll power on through. Sometimes you wake fresh, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you go to bed early only to find out you wake up ready to start the day and it's only 2am.
The only thing they need before bed is a fully tummy, clean pyjamas, to be well rested during the day (midday nap for 2hrs) and if they are teething/otherwise suffering, a banana and calpol. The banana helps the calpol slow release.
And don't run in at the minute they make a noise, for the reasons I stated in my first para. They are just peeved they woke up, and it'll take 10-15mins to settle. The more practice they get at self-settling, the less you will have to do.
The only thing they need before bed is a fully tummy, clean pyjamas, to be well rested during the day (midday nap for 2hrs) and if they are teething/otherwise suffering, a banana and calpol. The banana helps the calpol slow release.
And don't run in at the minute they make a noise, for the reasons I stated in my first para. They are just peeved they woke up, and it'll take 10-15mins to settle. The more practice they get at self-settling, the less you will have to do.
Well without doing periodic brain scans, we'll never know for sure.
I think on this topic we make up our own minds based on our experiences and what we make of conjecture/circumstantial evidence.
I don't think your analogy comparing to adults having the odd bad night is accurate though. You're right that we all have bad nights every now and then, but that's not how sleep regression manifests. If you're tuned in to your kids, you know when they are having a gripe, and when they are literally not going to sleep. And when you go from weeks of steady routine to suddenly a big shift that lasts for more than just a night or two, it definitely feels like something's changed.
Unless you've had enough kids to have a good sample size (10, 20 maybe. Are you on your first or second now?
) then making claims that you know "the only thing they (as in every child ever) need", suggesting that'll cover any circumstance, is hilarious.
I think on this topic we make up our own minds based on our experiences and what we make of conjecture/circumstantial evidence.
I don't think your analogy comparing to adults having the odd bad night is accurate though. You're right that we all have bad nights every now and then, but that's not how sleep regression manifests. If you're tuned in to your kids, you know when they are having a gripe, and when they are literally not going to sleep. And when you go from weeks of steady routine to suddenly a big shift that lasts for more than just a night or two, it definitely feels like something's changed.
Unless you've had enough kids to have a good sample size (10, 20 maybe. Are you on your first or second now?
) then making claims that you know "the only thing they (as in every child ever) need", suggesting that'll cover any circumstance, is hilarious.And what's your proposal, out of interest? Easy to knock someone with an opinion when you offer nothing yourself.Unless you've had enough kids to have a good sample size (10, 20 maybe. Are you on your first or second now?
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 5 Jun 2003
- Posts
- 91,549
- Location
- Falling...
I don't believe there has been any scientifically proven investigations that sleep regression is a thing, but it's a widely accepted "thing" which parents prepare themselves for. And it covers all sorts of things, growth spurts, cerebral development, nightmares, soiled nappies etc... A child's circadian rhythm is relatively irregular and is affected hormonally though it does become more regular as you get into a routine. We were fastidious with routine for our 2, made us a bit boring but it meant we got into long sleeps very quickly which was a godsend.
That said every child is different and every parent has their own approach to it - I don't believe there's a right or wrong way to do things, everyone needs to discover the journey for themselves. I'd never offer advice to another parent unless they asked me "what did you do when....?" - I'd just provide anecdotal experiences rather than say, this is the way.
Proposal for what, a catchall method for bulletproof sleep routine? Because there isn't one.
I'm not saying yours is a bad approach at all, sounds like it's worked really well for you, so happy days.
I'm just saying that suggesting because it's worked so well for you that it will overcome any sleep issue for any child regardless, is poppycock.
Once they can talk and conversations become a two way thing, it becomes a hell of a lot easier.
I'm sure a lot of sleep issues are down to them not being able communicate what is wrong, which means you then can't try to fix it.
I think I've said it before in this thread, but we had no qualms about bringing our daughter into our room / bed when she was unsettled and we'd tried other options.
If she had toothache, we'd give her something to help the pain. If she had trapped wind, we'd burp her. I don't see a problem with the bringing them into your own room if they are anxious about being separated. As long as they have some understanding that their room is where they should wants to be, and it's safe and cosy.
It's odd that parents constantly bang on about getting kids into a routine (which suggests routines and consistency don't come naturally) but then we convince ourselves that if a child sleeps in our bed for one night, that is going to instantly create a routine that they will not break.
If you want a semi decent sleep, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and let them in your bed for the night.
I'm sure a lot of sleep issues are down to them not being able communicate what is wrong, which means you then can't try to fix it.
I think I've said it before in this thread, but we had no qualms about bringing our daughter into our room / bed when she was unsettled and we'd tried other options.
If she had toothache, we'd give her something to help the pain. If she had trapped wind, we'd burp her. I don't see a problem with the bringing them into your own room if they are anxious about being separated. As long as they have some understanding that their room is where they should wants to be, and it's safe and cosy.
It's odd that parents constantly bang on about getting kids into a routine (which suggests routines and consistency don't come naturally) but then we convince ourselves that if a child sleeps in our bed for one night, that is going to instantly create a routine that they will not break.
If you want a semi decent sleep, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and let them in your bed for the night.
Yup if it works for you then why not. Me and my wife have tried our utmost hardest to not become judgmental parents of other peoples parenting styles and choices. If it works for them and they are happy as parents and (perhaps more importantly) a couple then great, crack on. I guess there's just the odd story of parents co-sleeping one night and then a year later they are still in co-sleeping mode and can't find a way out of it but again, if it works for them then it's feels impossible to find fault.
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 5 Jun 2003
- Posts
- 91,549
- Location
- Falling...
Yeah everyone has a different take and techniques. We travel a lot (abroad) and routines get ****** but they adapt quickly to the new environments.
We never had any of ours in our bed but I agree nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't become habitual of course. Why wouldn't you want to give your kid some comfort if it helps you all get some sleep!
Lack of sleep is what creates stress for all parties and that's when bad habits form and mistakes happen. Better to let go of your pride or routine for a night or two.
However everyone is different and has a different way to tackle a problem. If parenthood was easy we wouldn't need conversation like this! I like the fact that each child doesn't have to follow the same progression, whether physically, linguistically or whatever. They all end up catching up to a certain degree. Nurture Vs nature paradigm.
We never had any of ours in our bed but I agree nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't become habitual of course. Why wouldn't you want to give your kid some comfort if it helps you all get some sleep!
Lack of sleep is what creates stress for all parties and that's when bad habits form and mistakes happen. Better to let go of your pride or routine for a night or two.
However everyone is different and has a different way to tackle a problem. If parenthood was easy we wouldn't need conversation like this! I like the fact that each child doesn't have to follow the same progression, whether physically, linguistically or whatever. They all end up catching up to a certain degree. Nurture Vs nature paradigm.
Soldato
- Joined
- 14 Mar 2011
- Posts
- 5,441
I realise I'm well late to the discussion now and there have been plenty of good points above but since it was directed at me I'll respond anyway
With ours it seems to follow a really predictable pattern - it's basically as she goes through a developmental leap in terms of her understanding of the world etc. and you can really tell because when she comes out the other side of one it's usually quite obvious. e.g. one of them she started being able to sense her sort of physicality a lot better and so all of a sudden she was moving her arms and legs in a much more deliberate way and starting to try and roll over more... or things like starting to make more sounds... walking... etc... the big developments all seem to be preceded by quite an obvious sudden period of disruption to her sleeping and other routines (like she gets fussy all of a sudden with food too at those times, even things she's previously loved eating). Really cool to watch to be honest even if it is hard and can feel like a step backwards in terms of sleeping - but I think we've learned to just try to stay consistent and ride it out
I rarely get ill but my lord, kids really are disease carriers . My son has been going to baby groups and started nursery over the winter...
In the past 3 months we've had 1x serious bout of gastroenteritis and currently on our second lot of 'orrible cold that for me seems to have developed into an ear infection and tonsillitis...
Thanks Edward...
. My son has been going to baby groups and started nursery over the winter...In the past 3 months we've had 1x serious bout of gastroenteritis and currently on our second lot of 'orrible cold that for me seems to have developed into an ear infection and tonsillitis...
Thanks Edward...
Oh yeah, once they start going to nursery you have a good run of it, but I think with us it was around 3 months of having to take days off work to collect her from nursery because she was ill, and then it settled into the usual seasonal stuff.I rarely get ill but my lord, kids really are disease carriers
In the past 3 months we've had 1x serious bout of gastroenteritis and currently on our second lot of 'orrible cold that for me seems to have developed into an ear infection and tonsillitis...
Thanks Edward...
We still struggle to get our 4 year old to settle in the evenings so that is proof every kid is different.
Sometimes there is no answer, some kids just naturally take longer to settle. Our 8 year old has always slept without an issue straight away, no dramas
Sometimes there is no answer, some kids just naturally take longer to settle. Our 8 year old has always slept without an issue straight away, no dramas
Definitely the zoo. The aquarium is dark and dank and soulless. I actually have no idea about Shrek's adventure.