OcUK Dadsnet thread

Man of Honour
Joined
20 Sep 2006
Posts
34,533
Still a fund fee though? Been wanting one for my daughter, not really got round to looking yet.
Yeah, if you are trading lots then an OEIC might be better, or just save up money and do an ETF purchase once a year. Get a Junior SIPP open if you don't have one yet and let compounding do the hard work for you.
 

OG

OG

Associate
Joined
15 Feb 2007
Posts
700
I will regret saying this, but it does get significantly better. The first 18 months are constant - mine hospitalised me for 48 hours with some superbug she caught and passed on :cry:
Will second this, I think the majority of kids start nursery around 1y/o when the mother returns to work and inevitably it's just a constant stream of illness from nursery. 12-18 months or so for us was pretty rough with constant colds/stomach bugs but (fingers cross) our son who is now 2.5 doesn't get particularly ill and seems a lot more resilient if he does end up with a bit of a cold.
 
Soldato
Joined
9 Apr 2007
Posts
13,777
Yeah, if you are trading lots then an OEIC might be better, or just save up money and do an ETF purchase once a year. Get a Junior SIPP open if you don't have one yet and let compounding do the hard work for you.
All setup, went with the Vanguard LifeStrategy 100% Equity Acc, shame its so awkward setting up a regular transaction.

Even just a tiny amount should give her a great head start, an extra 14 years or so isnt it.
 
Last edited:
Soldato
Joined
7 Jun 2009
Posts
2,635
Location
No where
I remember before I had children I thought I had a good immune system…

Boy was I wrong, first 3 months of nursery we all had some form of lurgy..

Now the youngest is in primary school we only really get ill in September-December…

I swear they go into school find the most sick looking child and take it in turns to lick them.

Mine gave me something that caused such uncontrollable temperature fluctuations that I lost 9lbs in weight in 2 days.
 
Man of Honour
Joined
26 Dec 2003
Posts
31,079
Location
Shropshire
Pharmacist now thinks the little one has chickenpox rather than hand foot and mouth. Joy :o

She seems completely unfussed by the mess of blisters on her arse though so that's the bright side to needing to use up our last bit of annual leave
 
Man of Honour
Joined
26 Dec 2003
Posts
31,079
Location
Shropshire
Following on from my woe is me posts about baby being ill, how do people deal with it when it's literally just you and your partner?

My parents/family live 90 miles away and my wife is estranged from large parts of hers or at least the ones who live locally and right now it's really hammering home the difference to when we were both young and we'd have grandparents/other family members just down the road where we could go if we were ill or mum and dad needed a night to themselves.

We're basically stuck with things like illness luckily at the moment we've still got some leave we can use but once that runs out we can't really afford to lose days worth of pay and I think we've managed 1 night out together for a wedding since she was born.

I know the answer is suck it up as we made our choice and I'm just venting a bit but it's not something I'd (probably (definitely) very naively) considered before she was born.
 
Soldato
Joined
11 Jun 2015
Posts
11,464
Location
Bristol
It's hard @tom_e

My family are quite local, my mum is a few minutes around the corner and we have a good support network with friends but it doesn't always cover things. My partners family are all 90 minutes away so can't really help.

My partner, fortunately, has flexi hours and works from home otherwise we'd be buggered. Like today, we think her teething has picked back up and she is beyond grumpy and has a temperature so can't go into nursery so my partner is stuck home alone with her and I feel really guilty that I can't help as I am in the office, living the dream talking to you guys. I had to take the day off a few weeks back because both of them were written off.

Life is beautifully ironic at times. I think it was Monday night we were in bed talking about how lucky we have been the last couple of weeks without anything major happening and how we were out of the mess that is teething... Tuesday came and she is a dribbling mess again and barely sleeping and all around furious. We should've kept out mouths shut!

Edit:

Though, something we are struggling with and have no idea how to get around this. She hates Calpol/Nurofen. It's always a fight to get her to take it to the point we have to almost force it into her. That was fine when she was a baby and couldn't put up much of a fight but now she can and when we do get it into her mouth, she just spits it out. We're at a loss because we know when she does eventually take it, she feels better but she just hasn't made that connection in her head yet.

I'm even more confused because Nurofen tastes really nice! It would make times when she is ill so much easier on all of us if we didn't feel like we were forcing her to do something she doesn't want to
 
Last edited:
Associate
Joined
2 Oct 2006
Posts
2,304
Location
Bexleyheath, London.
I remember before I had children I thought I had a good immune system…

Boy was I wrong, first 3 months of nursery we all had some form of lurgy..

Now the youngest is in primary school we only really get ill in September-December…

I swear they go into school find the most sick looking child and take it in turns to lick them.

Mine gave me something that caused such uncontrollable temperature fluctuations that I lost 9lbs in weight in 2 days.
Telling me! My 3 year old daughter has had 2 upper respiratory infections in the last 3 months which resulted in her being on amoxicillin and me ending up with pneumonia twice.
 

OG

OG

Associate
Joined
15 Feb 2007
Posts
700
Following on from my woe is me posts about baby being ill, how do people deal with it when it's literally just you and your partner?

My parents/family live 90 miles away and my wife is estranged from large parts of hers or at least the ones who live locally and right now it's really hammering home the difference to when we were both young and we'd have grandparents/other family members just down the road where we could go if we were ill or mum and dad needed a night to themselves.

We're basically stuck with things like illness luckily at the moment we've still got some leave we can use but once that runs out we can't really afford to lose days worth of pay and I think we've managed 1 night out together for a wedding since she was born.

I know the answer is suck it up as we made our choice and I'm just venting a bit but it's not something I'd (probably (definitely) very naively) considered before she was born.
Welcome to the party! Our closest family are a 4 hour drive away.

It's tough, we've definitely had some tough moments as a couple when it's unrelenting illness and then one of us (or both) end up being ill as well. We just end up going into 'survival' mode, just making sure the kids are fed and watered and then just trying to get through the days, at the time it feels like a lifetime but in reality it's a couple of days at most that we're in this state. If it means we all just sit in front of the tv for a day or so then so be it

For time together we're somewhat in the same boat. Our eldest is 2.5 and I think we've had literally a handful of nights without the kids. We chose to move away from our family to be in a 'nicer' part of the world but yes definitely sometimes question our decision.
 
Man of Honour
Joined
26 Dec 2003
Posts
31,079
Location
Shropshire
Welcome to the party! Our closest family are a 4 hour drive away.

It's tough, we've definitely had some tough moments as a couple when it's unrelenting illness and then one of us (or both) end up being ill as well. We just end up going into 'survival' mode, just making sure the kids are fed and watered and then just trying to get through the days, at the time it feels like a lifetime but in reality it's a couple of days at most that we're in this state. If it means we all just sit in front of the tv for a day or so then so be it

For time together we're somewhat in the same boat. Our eldest is 2.5 and I think we've had literally a handful of nights without the kids. We chose to move away from our family to be in a 'nicer' part of the world but yes definitely sometimes question our decision.
I think you've hit the nail on the head with survival mode although I feel like I've been in it since she was born just head down trying to work, make sure the house doesn't descend into a tip and everyone is fed and watered.

Wife definitely holds the opinion that because I've got Flexi time and can get a bit of non baby time (even though it's generally spent sorting life admin for all of us) that I'm living the dream :cry:
 
Associate
Joined
28 Feb 2009
Posts
780
Our 12 week old seems to be going through a phase at the moment where he can't be put down for more than 10 minutes during the day without starting to cry. He only settles down when he's held and usually only if we walk around with him at the same time, which is obviously very exhausting for both of us.

I've read that these phases are quite common, so I'm just looking for any possible tips for anyone who's been through the same? We've tried the usual, making sure it's not trapped wind, he's had enough milk etc.

Can’t help but the same for us at the minute around 12 weeks too. Can’t be put down and just screams the second his head touches the sheet.

Worse through the day but if he wakes in the night it’s impossible to put him back down so often having to just get up at 2/3am
 

fez

fez

Caporegime
Joined
22 Aug 2008
Posts
25,793
Location
Tunbridge Wells
My partner is going back to work next week and I think its suddenly hit her that she won't be seeing her babies all day every day now. Shes suddenly got endless patience for all their pickling and general wanton destruction :p

Took them for a settling in session at the nursery and both our boys basically just toddled off and found new humans or stuff to play with. Barely a care in the world. Stealing the other kids toys. Whacked one of them with a spoon and generally went on a bit of a rampage. When my partner came to pick them up, one of them didn't want to leave the teacher they had decided was the best one and threw a fit. :p

You have children to love you and at the first chance they get they replace you. They are menaces!
 
Man of Honour
Joined
26 Dec 2003
Posts
31,079
Location
Shropshire
My partner is going back to work next week and I think its suddenly hit her that she won't be seeing her babies all day every day now. Shes suddenly got endless patience for all their pickling and general wanton destruction :p

Took them for a settling in session at the nursery and both our boys basically just toddled off and found new humans or stuff to play with. Barely a care in the world. Stealing the other kids toys. Whacked one of them with a spoon and generally went on a bit of a rampage. When my partner came to pick them up, one of them didn't want to leave the teacher they had decided was the best one and threw a fit. :p

You have children to love you and at the first chance they get they replace you. They are menaces!
Our daughter started with a childminder in Jan then moved to a nursery in April and with both of them as soon as we get there she's off and we no longer exist :o but she is definitely happy to see me when I pick her up at least. I think by that point she's had enough and wants some peace and quiet again :D
 
Associate
Joined
27 Jan 2020
Posts
1,408
Location
West Sussex
It's really reassuring seeing your kids having a good time at nursery and being excited to be dropped off. Our daughter has been going to nursery for a year now and she basically sprints to the door when we get there in the morning.

I do really feel for the parents who have to deal with the screaming drop offs, just can't imagine it's a particularly nice way to start the day for anyone.
 

fez

fez

Caporegime
Joined
22 Aug 2008
Posts
25,793
Location
Tunbridge Wells
It's really reassuring seeing your kids having a good time at nursery and being excited to be dropped off. Our daughter has been going to nursery for a year now and she basically sprints to the door when we get there in the morning.

I do really feel for the parents who have to deal with the screaming drop offs, just can't imagine it's a particularly nice way to start the day for anyone.

You want them to at least look sad when you leave and happy when you pick them up again for a few days though :p
 
Soldato
Joined
27 Mar 2013
Posts
9,218
Had a fun chat with my 7 year old the other day. Listening to Rihanna and s&m came on. He asked me what it stood for so I feigned ignorance. He asked if it stood for social media, I went yea let's go with that :p .
 
Don
Joined
24 Feb 2004
Posts
12,018
Location
-
We were woken this morning to the sound of our two year old singing baby shark at 6am coming through the monitor. It’s been in my head all day. Also sorry.
I would like to say that it gets better.

It does not.

My 12 year old still sings it and then the ear worm gets stuck in my head all day.
 
Soldato
Joined
27 Aug 2019
Posts
2,614
I would like to say that it gets better.

It does not.

My 12 year old still sings it and then the ear worm gets stuck in my head all day.

Probably knows your a mod and deserve it tbh...hehe

It's really reassuring seeing your kids having a good time at nursery and being excited to be dropped off. Our daughter has been going to nursery for a year now and she basically sprints to the door when we get there in the morning.

I do really feel for the parents who have to deal with the screaming drop offs, just can't imagine it's a particularly nice way to start the day for anyone.


Ours won't get in the car going to nursery then coming home from nursery.

I spend a good 30 minutes trying to get her into the car when I pick her up.

Baffles me.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top Bottom