OcUK Dadsnet thread

Lots of advice, I'll take the bits I think will work, I can see different points of view, I do agree I need to think of myself, but mainly to make me a better dad/person/husband as it would be a way to release some of my stress. We are speaking with a counsellor, hoping that will break some of the deadlock.
To answer some of the questions, she is a stay at home mum, at least until younger one goes to school, I did consider PND, and she has spoken to the doc but it seems he disagrees, and we are not making any time for us as a couple, she just wont leave the baby, I have tried!
Last conversation became one of she believes we dont even like each other anymore and that it wasnt a good environment to bring up children! I disagree, I just think the lack of any kind of compromise on her part is leading to a breakdown in the family and the older child playing up is a result of this (she's not neglecting him, he was just used to having 100% of her attention in the way she now does with the little one and now doesn't have it - I know how he feels!)
I am amazed that she seems to think it would be a better option to bring them up on their own, or even its an option, financially we would be screwed and both find it a struggle to run 2 homes etc, emotionally the kids would not benefit from both parents, just one at a time and she would lose the main support she has, her family not being the best able to offer it!

On a happier note, potty training is hilarious but he is getting the hang of it - I think he is finally feeling like sitting in your own poo is not comfortable and the little one is starting to crawl and is fast!!
 
TBirdUK said:
Lots of advice, I'll take the bits I think will work, I can see different points of view, I do agree I need to think of myself, but mainly to make me a better dad/person/husband as it would be a way to release some of my stress. We are speaking with a counsellor, hoping that will break some of the deadlock.
To answer some of the questions, she is a stay at home mum, at least until younger one goes to school, I did consider PND, and she has spoken to the doc but it seems he disagrees, and we are not making any time for us as a couple, she just wont leave the baby, I have tried!
Last conversation became one of she believes we dont even like each other anymore and that it wasnt a good environment to bring up children! I disagree, I just think the lack of any kind of compromise on her part is leading to a breakdown in the family and the older child playing up is a result of this (she's not neglecting him, he was just used to having 100% of her attention in the way she now does with the little one and now doesn't have it - I know how he feels!)
I am amazed that she seems to think it would be a better option to bring them up on their own, or even its an option, financially we would be screwed and both find it a struggle to run 2 homes etc, emotionally the kids would not benefit from both parents, just one at a time and she would lose the main support she has, her family not being the best able to offer it!

On a happier note, potty training is hilarious but he is getting the hang of it - I think he is finally feeling like sitting in your own poo is not comfortable and the little one is starting to crawl and is fast!!
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9 months and no time alone together, I can see why your relationship is starting to break down.

Good luck with the councillor, if nothing else it will provide time for the two of you to be alone together.
 
I wish, she would only let my parents look after the boy, we had to take the little one with us!

On a lighter note, little girl is really on the move now, its amazing how much they can learn in 3 days - one moment she couldn't crawl, now I turn my back and she's off! time to baby proof the house again, got a bit lax with all the plugs and cables as the 3yo knows not to touch
 
Hey all, just a question really about our almost 2 going on 5 year old. We've got loads of toys, old and new, for him to play with but he's not really interested. He reverts back to a few go to toys and that's about it. We're trying to think if he needs more stimulating toys but struggling to think of what to get that is suitable, for age warnings etc. I've thought about some wooden tool sets/kits to see if he'll enjoy banging about with them. We take him out regularly and swimming and he is happy enough but he just seems bored of the current toys. Any ideas?
 
Age 2 is a funny age for toys. They are too old for the "baby" toys, but they don't have the motor control for the older big-boy toys.

Our 2 year old just plays with anything and everything.
 
Well the wife is in hospital with baby number two very slowly on the way. Her waters broke at 1am today but it could be anytime between now and a week before she goes into labour. As the baby would be a bit premature they're not rushing to induce her and have instead given her antibiotics to stop any infection and are going to see how much longer it will cook for.

She'll be in for at least two days, fairly worried waiting here at home but keeping busy getting things organised.
 
I'm likely to open a massive can of worms here.. but hey ho, it's OcUK - that's what this place is for.

Fathers: I've always bathed my daughters from since they were born - just felt it was my job and I enjoyed it. When they got a little bit older, I just let them jump in the shower with me occasionally, to save time and "hit three birds with one stone" as it were. This "occasionally" turned into just how we do it for the majority of the time.

Now, I personally don't think there's anything weird about it (some might disagree) - this is not the contentious point for me. I'm curious about what others' take is on at what age you think it should stop?

ps: I'm purposefully leaving out their ages so that it does not influence responses.
 
Supercow said:
ps: I'm purposefully leaving out their ages so that it does not influence responses.
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i think that massively influences the response. 2/3 year old etc - don't have any issues with it. 12/13 years old - most definitely would have an issue with it.

Can you imagine a 5 or 6 year old telling kids at school they shower with their dad......
 
I think once they get to about 5 I would be in the bathroom with them (reading, looking at phone, whatever) but they'd be in the shower themselves.
 
Age is definitely the defining factor here. If they are pre-pubescent, probably not an issue.

It's probably something that should stop around age 8 or 9.
 
As the others have said, I think it gets weird before you hit double digits, but I might suggest six would be where I'd knock it on the head.
 
My son can do all the washing he needs to without assistance (other than a more vigorous scrub when his knees are caked in mud), aged 7.5. Probably been ok doing that for about a year.

Not much point getting in with them if they can deal with it on their own, so that's the sort of stop point I would think. Not because it's weird in a nude-with-your-kids kind of way, more weird because you should probably let them do stuff by themselves.
 
So just wondered on what age people moved there kid from a cot to there first bed, I ask as our son is 2 in February however in his cot atm he stands up leans on side and has recently started to try climb out, he can get one leg partly over. He is a very very confident climber

Me and the Mrs just aren't sure so just seeking others thoughts.
 
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