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[wesimmo]

Interesting how everyone sees things differently you think it's bad to 'train' your kids that you will come if the call for you I think it's worse for them to know that nobody will come if they do!

Our three year old knows that if he calls for us one of us will go and yes every now and then one of us will land up sat with him while he resettles but I'd much rather that than him not bother calling because nobody comes. We use a monitor as I see no need for him to get so upset I can hear him screaming over the TV before I go to him, we live in a small terrace for reference. Most of the time he goes happily to bed at 7 and wakes up at 7 the next day. The little one is only 8 months so to young to understand anything.

There is a middle ground! You make it sound like we neglect her.

What I'm talking about is when she was old enough to know how to play us and would call us back to go to the toilet half a dozen times or wanting more food even though she had been more than fed and, when old enough, warned to eat enough before bed time.

I guess I lived by the rule that, for the most part, if they're fed, watered and clean then they're ok and the crying was just for attention. You can tell when they're in distress versus crying wolf.

 

[a1ex2001]

There is a middle ground! You make it sound like we neglect her.

What I'm talking about is when she was old enough to know how to play us and would call us back to go to the toilet half a dozen times or wanting more food even though she had been more than fed and, when old enough, warned to eat enough before bed time.

I guess I lived by the rule that, for the most part, if they're fed, watered and clean then they're ok and the crying was just for attention. You can tell when they're in distress versus crying wolf.

Like I said everyone is different and it's up to you how you choose to parent. Our eldest is 3 and a half and I don't think he is old enough to understand the idea of 'playing' us and if he was I'd rather explain things to him and not leave him crying.

 

[dl8860]

Thanks for the responses. We're definitely not going to be the sort of parents to fuss over every noise we hear from next door. We had feedback from a friend that having the video meant it was easier to leave the baby to it as if it's making more serious noises you can check whether it's actually in distress, or just having a heated debate with it's toys or the side of the cot or whatever.

Thanks a1ex, that's actually the one we were looking at but from what I gather they've downgraded recently, and review since then are really not good.

 

[a1ex2001]

Thanks for the responses. We're definitely not going to be the sort of parents to fuss over every noise we hear from next door. We had feedback from a friend that having the video meant it was easier to leave the baby to it as if it's making more serious noises you can check whether it's actually in distress, or just having a heated debate with it's toys or the side of the cot or whatever.

Thanks a1ex, that's actually the one we were looking at but from what I gather they've downgraded recently, and review since then are really not good.

We went second hand came in box with all the tags still on. Baby stuff is massively over priced so we've got loads of stuff second hand! Local Facebook groups if you live in a decent area can turn up some amazing bargains.

 

[Droolinggimp]

Well... after a few days of sickness, reduced movements it now looks like my wifey will be induced either this week (read: next few days) or next week sometime. The whole pregnancy has been ok, a few blips like her BMI (load of **** if you ask me)is too high and contributed to certain things (read: nasty, horrible Sonographer with history). long story short, gonna have another kid latest next week. Mum 37 weeks gone. God help me with our 3 year old. I really hope he helps out and understands, we have been working him with 'baby stuff' and we think he has a jist of it all.

Fun times ahead.

 

[robj20]

So our boy was born at 35 weeks on Saturday morning, we are now at Alder Hey with him being kept alive on an ECMO bypass machine as his lungs are still functioning as if he is in the womb. They have high pressure so the blood doesn't flow through them. We have to wait and hope they begin to work, specialists still not sure what is causing them to stay in this state though.
I have never felt so lost or helpless in my life.

 

[iMacMart]

So our boy was born at 35 weeks on Saturday morning, we are now at Alder Hey with him being kept alive on an ECMO bypass machine as his lungs are still functioning as if he is in the womb. They have high pressure so the blood doesn't flow through them. We have to wait and hope they begin to work, specialists still not sure what is causing them to stay in this state though.
I have never felt so lost or helpless in my life.

Sorry to hear that, must be awful, keep you chin up and support your partner/wife is what I would do .... Hope things get better soon!

I have 4 children ranging from just over 1 year old to 11 just gone to senior school, never a dull moment in my house..

 

[theone8181]

So our boy was born at 35 weeks on Saturday morning, we are now at Alder Hey with him being kept alive on an ECMO bypass machine as his lungs are still functioning as if he is in the womb. They have high pressure so the blood doesn't flow through them. We have to wait and hope they begin to work, specialists still not sure what is causing them to stay in this state though.
I have never felt so lost or helpless in my life.

If it makes you feel any better, one of the guys I work with said his son was born at 26 weeks, he's now 8 years old so don't lose hope.

 

[Devrij]

So our boy was born at 35 weeks on Saturday morning, we are now at Alder Hey with him being kept alive on an ECMO bypass machine as his lungs are still functioning as if he is in the womb. They have high pressure so the blood doesn't flow through them. We have to wait and hope they begin to work, specialists still not sure what is causing them to stay in this state though.
I have never felt so lost or helpless in my life.

I have an inkling of how you're feeling. When my missus was in labour our daughter's heart rate kept plummeting, cue midwifes rolling her around like a sausage roll to try and fix it. Thankfully that all ended for us in a successful c section, but I remember how it felt to be so close, to think that everything had been going fine and it might all be snatched away and you just had to sit back and trust the pros to do their job. Horrible feeling.

I hope you get the same happy ending we did!

 

[Glacius]

Hoping this maybe a good place to post and ask for some advice really.

Me and my partner where expecting our boy within the next couple of months and sadly we lost the baby last Thursday, this would have been my 1st child and my partners 3rd. This was also her 3rd miscarriage as well and to say she has taken it badly is an understatement.

I have been quite upset by it and so has she but she deals with depression as well which was caused by her last loss of a baby and now it's just happened again how have any of you guys dealt with or helped a partner having just lost a baby? Even more so when she suffers from day to day with depression

Difficult is an understatement at the moment so hard to know what to say or do

 

[Devrij]

Hoping this maybe a good place to post and ask for some advice really.

Me and my partner where expecting our boy within the next couple of months and sadly we lost the baby last Thursday, this would have been my 1st child and my partners 3rd. This was also her 3rd miscarriage as well and to say she has taken it badly is an understatement.

I have been quite upset by it and so has she but she deals with depression as well which was caused by her last loss of a baby and now it's just happened again how have any of you guys dealt with or helped a partner having just lost a baby? Even more so when she suffers from day to day with depression

Difficult is an understatement at the moment so hard to know what to say or do

We had three miscarriages before having our daughter, and I remember my missus not wanting to carry on at that point. I think I just talked to her about how excited we had been, and how that meant we were both sure we wanted to do this. Reminded her of how great it felt to be making a baby like. One of her friends had lost 4 kids (one stillbirth too) and another had 6 miscarriages and both now have two kids each. Miscarriages are absolutely horrible, but if she has kids already she'll know how special it is to make it to the end.

 

[robj20]

If it makes you feel any better, one of the guys I work with said his son was born at 26 weeks, he's now 8 years old so don't lose hope.

They say it's nothing to do with him being born early his lung won't make the switch, so he can't actually take in enough oxygen to support him, even a ventilator can't support him yet.
At St Mary's he initially went on a ventilator then swapped to an oscillating ventilator then he was rushed her for ECMO bypass.
I'm terrified there will be long term issues and that's if he makes it.
This morning's chest X ray had shown slight increase in lung volume, but his lungs still won't open the blood vessels so the oxygen to blood transfer doesn't happen.

 

[booyaka]

Hoping this maybe a good place to post and ask for some advice really.

Me and my partner where expecting our boy within the next couple of months and sadly we lost the baby last Thursday, this would have been my 1st child and my partners 3rd. This was also her 3rd miscarriage as well and to say she has taken it badly is an understatement.

I have been quite upset by it and so has she but she deals with depression as well which was caused by her last loss of a baby and now it's just happened again how have any of you guys dealt with or helped a partner having just lost a baby? Even more so when she suffers from day to day with depression

Difficult is an understatement at the moment so hard to know what to say or do

hugely difficult time - Sorry for your loss - Suggest looking to use any local charities etc that can help discuss/talk about these things. I know the local SANDS Ayrshire (Stillbirth And Neonatal Death) charity do excellent work, bereavement counseling, help etc.

 

[robj20]

So today our boy came off the ECMO bypass, but during a scan it has shown a huge bleed on the left side of his brain, so much so the while left side is critically damaged.
Best case he won't have any movement of the right side and won't be able to understand speach if he is right handed.
Worst case the pressure in his head increases and it damages the right side and he doesn't make it at all.

A baby just doesn't deserve this at all nor does his mother who is beside her self the kindest person I know.

 

[ci_newman]

I'm so so sorry to hear that my thoughts are with you buddy

 

[agw_01]

Can't imagine what you're going through Rob!

 

[Hodders]

So today our boy came off the ECMO bypass, but during a scan it has shown a huge bleed on the left side of his brain, so much so the while left side is critically damaged.
Best case he won't have any movement of the right side and won't be able to understand speach if he is right handed.
Worst case the pressure in his head increases and it damages the right side and he doesn't make it at all.

A baby just doesn't deserve this at all nor does his mother who is beside her self the kindest person I know.

As a father of 2, my heart goes out to you. Becoming a parent makes you so vulnerable. All my very best wishes. Really can't think of what else to say....

 

[Devrij]

So today our boy came off the ECMO bypass, but during a scan it has shown a huge bleed on the left side of his brain, so much so the while left side is critically damaged.
Best case he won't have any movement of the right side and won't be able to understand speach if he is right handed.
Worst case the pressure in his head increases and it damages the right side and he doesn't make it at all.

A baby just doesn't deserve this at all nor does his mother who is beside her self the kindest person I know.

I'm really sorry to hear that. Can't imagine how hard that must be.

 

[robj20]

Another CT scan this morning has shown he has water on the brain. So he's due in theater for neuro surgery at 8pm to have a drain inserted. They now risk damaging the healthy side of his brain with an uncomfortable high risk of death.

The doctors and nurses seem more amazed that we are holding it together and I honestly don't know how we are.
I guess we just have to keep hope that he will have something that resembles a life after all this.

I'm amazed the little guy is still going to be honest, born 35 weeks and only a week old to go through so much and still amazing the doctors.

 

[ci_newman]

Good luck to you and your family. They might be small but these little things know how to fight.