OcUK Dadsnet thread

Soldato
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@subbytna tagged mate, after reading back a few pages. It’s been a rough ride for us this year. Found out wife pregnant earlier this year, first check indicated twins and possible co-joined (Siamese). More in-depth check revealed mono mono twins (same sac), so big risk of cord entanglement etc. For months several visits a week to hospital for ultrasound scans and ctg (heart rate). DurIng one of those checks a heart deceleration with one twin meant hospital transfer by helicopter at midnight, further checks and twins delivered by c section 5 days later, delivered at 31 weeks. Several weeks in hospital, lots of checks, but now I happy to say my beautiful, healthy, twin girl little heroes have been home 6 weeks. I adore them to bits.

Twins though!! My goodness, adorable as they are it’s hard work. Wife and I exhausted, if it’s not twin that needs a nappy change or soothing it’s the other, there is no respite. The wife and I are having moments were we can’t stand each other, purely due to tiredness, and we’re hanging on for milestones where they start sleeping better/through the night.

Never known anything as tiring but rewarding! Support from dads of twins welcome!

Happy days glad babies are doing well now. Must have ben a scare for you for sure. Twins are rewarding but the first year is BRUTAL. Absolutely brutal. I didn't enjoy the first year as I was destroyed by tiredness. I hear new parents of single babies complain they are tired and I can't help but laugh at them. They have no idea what tiredness is until they have twins or triplets. The 2nd year things settle down and they don't become easier, things become "different"

When they sleep through the night, you'll feel like after 8 hours sleep you'll be able to run a marathon, just wait and see what I mean. It'll happen and you'll smile when you remember this post :D

Wife and I exhausted, if it’s not twin that needs a nappy change or soothing it’s the other, there is no respite.
The phrase you're looking for is one I use as it's really the only word that accurately describes things....relentless! :o

Finding a person to baby sit is also almost non existent when you have twins, 1 baby no worries....2, " Sorry I'm washing my hair that night" time

I can't stress enough how important it is to get you and your lady, some "us time" Even an hour for a walk together. Talk to her and make sure you're communicating a lot. If you don't, twins can break a marriage, through stress. Keep at it. Your wife might not want any nookie due to tiredness, accept it and just wait. I was over 6 months after the boys were born before I got any action. Fairly sure then it was only out of pity for me :D

If you REALLY want brownie points, tell her to go out with a friend, even for a coffee and you keep an eye on the babies. Daunting yes but once you do it, you'll not think it daunting at all in future.

Also while I remember, take it in turns to "have a different baby" each night and swap the next night, so that one baby doesn't get too attached to one parent.

Babies cry, as long as they aren't in danger, don't worry if one is crying while you're changing the others nappy. Crying baby will survive and be ok if you have to tend to the other one for a few mins. Don't think "baby is crying and I can't sort her out as I'm dealing with this one, I'm a bad dad" or any of that guff. Twin dads are superheroes, even if I say so myself ;)

Buy boxes of wipes, yes boxes, not packs of wipes, boxes. When you're going through 10-20 nappies a day, wipes are a miracle for all scenarios. From baby's bums to wiping puke from the floor to wiping puke off yourself to cleaning the kitchen worktop when you spill formula milk.

Feel free to bounce me a trust message via email if you want to keep in touch and have a shoulder to give off to :p I know EXACTLY what you're going through and all help, even if it's just an ear, is welcome.
 
Soldato
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@grumpybeard My boys are 3 on Saturday. It's all been a bit of a blur tbh. Can't believe I've made it through 3 years lol. I'm going to see if I can start a dads of multiples thread as this thread doesn't really do justice to how different multiples are over a new baby. It's like saying ah you can game on a console and game on a PC so it's the same thing....it isn't! You now know it with you two girls.
 
Soldato
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@grumpybeard My boys are 3 on Saturday. It's all been a bit of a blur tbh. Can't believe I've made it through 3 years lol. I'm going to see if I can start a dads of multiples thread as this thread doesn't really do justice to how different multiples are over a new baby. It's like saying ah you can game on a console and game on a PC so it's the same thing....it isn't! You now know it with you two girls.
I have mad respect for anyone with multiples, I find it hard enough with one and literally cannot comprehend how two at the same time, especially as your first, would be.
 
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Our 7 week old has had a rubbish month. At two weeks he had bronchiolitis, which was distressing watching him struggle to breath. On from that he's had colic, reflux and constipation. Problem being, any medication to help with reflux seems to exacerbate his constipation.

We'd agreed mum was going to have belated birthday celebrations away with friends and family the weekend before last and that was hard work on my own, I had combined 5 hrs sleep over three days :D :(
so yes, I can't imagine doing that with multiples. Ouch!
 
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Is he having bottled or breast milk?

Found giving a bit of cooled boil water and doing lots of stomach and leg movements.

I.e. bending her so from lying down to wiring up and moving her legs up and down.
 
Soldato
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Is he having bottled or breast milk?

Found giving a bit of cooled boil water and doing lots of stomach and leg movements.

I.e. bending her so from lying down to wiring up and moving her legs up and down.
Breast, and we understand they can go days without a stool but he is physically in pain and turning purple straining to poop or pass wind. We tried everything, infacol, colief, dentinox, Nat phos, tummy massage, leg exercises, winding, chiropractor... he still struggles. The doctor took a look and concluded he'll just grow out of it, which is fine, but doesn't really ease his suffering right now. The next thing, if he doesn't improve soon, will be mum's diet (removal of dairy or gluten).
 
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@RoboCod - sounds like you guys having a tough time, and poor little thing. With our little ones having upset belly/wind from time to time we find a hot water bottle at 70deg placed between Pyjamas and bedding, on belly, works. Apologies if you already tried, hope you find something that resolves the discomfort and tears
 
Soldato
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@RoboCod - sounds like you guys having a tough time, and poor little thing. With our little ones having upset belly/wind from time to time we find a hot water bottle at 70deg placed between Pyjamas and bedding, on belly, works. Apologies if you already tried, hope you find something that resolves the discomfort and tears
We haven't tried that yet but definitely will give it a go, thanks.

When he's not in a grump he's lovely :)

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@grumpybeard My boys are 3 on Saturday. It's all been a bit of a blur tbh. Can't believe I've made it through 3 years lol. I'm going to see if I can start a dads of multiples thread as this thread doesn't really do justice to how different multiples are over a new baby. It's like saying ah you can game on a console and game on a PC so it's the same thing....it isn't! You now know it with you two girls.
My boys turned 5 at the weekend. Having had a girl first I would describe twins as like having 1.5 children. It is challenging but I am glad I had one before they came, I really think the shell shock of having twins first would be tough.
 
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@RoboCod - your little one is super cute. If you fo with the hot water bottle just be sure not to fill too much, else’s it might be too heavy. We started with adult bottle, but only had one between the two girls, so next day rushed out and got two baby sized ones. They seem to work a treat with the girls blissfully passing out with a smirk of warm delight on their faces.
 
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Don't know how other dads who travel a lot manage, although it has been amazing to have unbroken sleep (barring jet lag) for a week.

It’s hard work that’s for sure and it only gets harder the older they get. my boy is 2 and a half and I’ve been going away for work since before he was born, he’s never really noticed before but after going away again today and getting a txt at his bed time saying he’s crying looking for his daddy it really does make me wander about jobs at home. I have been at home for the last 2 months and my job at home is bedtime duties. But must be getting to the age where he’s wandering where I am. Always comes through in the morning to make sure mummy and daddy are there then asks for his milk:D only away till Saturday so a short trip this time but sometimes it can be 3 weekers.
 
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@RoboCod - your little one is super cute. If you fo with the hot water bottle just be sure not to fill too much, else’s it might be too heavy. We started with adult bottle, but only had one between the two girls, so next day rushed out and got two baby sized ones. They seem to work a treat with the girls blissfully passing out with a smirk of warm delight on their faces.

I think we'll try it tonight, mum is always paranoid about him overheating though. She read "cold babies cry, hot babies die" ... So naturally, anything more than a vest and sleep bag is far too much according to her paranoid mind:rolleyes: women are mental at the best of times, but when it comes to childbirth and parenting, crazy is off the chart
 
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@subcon959 cheers for the “brothers in arms” support fellas. You nailed it perfectly by describing the care of twins as relentless. It just never stops, from the pampers changes to soothing, to bottle sterilizing and feeding. Bath times if doing both need to be a choreographed masterpiece otherwise hell breaks loose. With twins you need to be super super organized.

With regard to nookie with the Mrs, she’ll be wanting the romantic seduction whilst i’ll take the stress relieving wham bam thank you ma’am, we’ll need to find a compromise when any energy returns! I look forward to those 8 hour sleeps,you speak of, sounds a foreign concept at the mo. Actually the girls are slowly sleeping longer during the night, with feed finishing about 11 and not again until 04:30. Given they only 5 weeks (corrected age) we are doing well.

Fortunately I’m blessed with a great mother-in-law - great cook, and adores the girls, she comes and stays with us for a week at a time, then we on our own for a week. Wife and I have determined that number of adults required per child = child + 1. When it’s only us 2 it’s exhausting, what a difference a third pair of helping hands makes.

Despite all of the above, having twins are amazing, and especially given the difficult pregnancy and premature delivery, we feel so blessed. We had a fab day learning baby massage with guidance from our midwife, and we got out first proper smiles from the girls today, which is just heart melty!

Thanks for the offer of contact via trust, I’ll hit you up, cheers!
 
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It’s hard work that’s for sure and it only gets harder the older they get. my boy is 2 and a half and I’ve been going away for work since before he was born, he’s never really noticed before but after going away again today and getting a txt at his bed time saying he’s crying looking for his daddy it really does make me wander about jobs at home. I have been at home for the last 2 months and my job at home is bedtime duties. But must be getting to the age where he’s wandering where I am. Always comes through in the morning to make sure mummy and daddy are there then asks for his milk:D only away till Saturday so a short trip this time but sometimes it can be 3 weekers.

I dread if I get pinged for a deployment now. Half the year away from the boy :( no thank you
 
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I dread if I get pinged for a deployment now. Half the year away from the boy :( no thank you

Aw man and I complain at 3 weeks half a year is some amount of time! How old? I think it’s ok when there young as they don’t know, then they get to the age when they know you should be there but there not sure why so get upset, then they get to the age when they can speak and you can tell them where you are and they know(hopefully)
 
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Aw man and I complain at 3 weeks half a year is some amount of time! How old? I think it’s ok when there young as they don’t know, then they get to the age when they know you should be there but there not sure why so get upset, then they get to the age when they can speak and you can tell them where you are and they know(hopefully)

Last time I went away, the guy I replaced had been sent away 1 month after his child was born. When he returned home, his child obviously didn't know who he was and he was sad he'd missed him go through so much change. It shouldn't have happened and usually doesn't but it was of course pretty tough for his wife the most. Which brings us on to single parents... I've even greater respect for those bad asses since we had child! :)
 
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My boys turned 5 at the weekend. Having had a girl first I would describe twins as like having 1.5 children. It is challenging but I am glad I had one before they came, I really think the shell shock of having twins first would be tough.

Ha that's the exact same setup as me. I've a 16 year old daughter then the twin boys are 3. Having had the 1 baby first then having two more it is like that. Even when you've had a single baby already, having two more, at the same time, is a shock to the system. 3 kids but 2 pregnancies.
 
Soldato
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@subcon959 cheers for the “brothers in arms” support fellas. You nailed it perfectly by describing the care of twins as relentless. It just never stops, from the pampers changes to soothing, to bottle sterilizing and feeding. Bath times if doing both need to be a choreographed masterpiece otherwise hell breaks loose. With twins you need to be super super organized.

With regard to nookie with the Mrs, she’ll be wanting the romantic seduction whilst i’ll take the stress relieving wham bam thank you ma’am, we’ll need to find a compromise when any energy returns! I look forward to those 8 hour sleeps,you speak of, sounds a foreign concept at the mo. Actually the girls are slowly sleeping longer during the night, with feed finishing about 11 and not again until 04:30. Given they only 5 weeks (corrected age) we are doing well.

Fortunately I’m blessed with a great mother-in-law - great cook, and adores the girls, she comes and stays with us for a week at a time, then we on our own for a week. Wife and I have determined that number of adults required per child = child + 1. When it’s only us 2 it’s exhausting, what a difference a third pair of helping hands makes.

Despite all of the above, having twins are amazing, and especially given the difficult pregnancy and premature delivery, we feel so blessed. We had a fab day learning baby massage with guidance from our midwife, and we got out first proper smiles from the girls today, which is just heart melty!

Thanks for the offer of contact via trust, I’ll hit you up, cheers!

It's not too late to do this either...every Monday, take a photo of them then after 52 photo's you can stick them in an album, to give them when they are older. I did this with my daughter and have it waiting for her 18th birthday (1.5 years more to go) It'll be an amazing present for her to see her from newborn through to 1 year old via 52 pictures (it's onw of the most treasured things I own). I took a pic when changing her nappy, quick and easy to do and no fuss from her. Didn't have good phones back then (2002) so it was a usual digital camera. Today with a phone it'd be so much easier to do.

btw...not sure if @subcon959 would appreciate any twin messages lol....think you tagged them instead of me ;)
 
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ok bit of an issue. Last week my nearly 4 year old lad was a bit poorly. We gave him calpol as you do and he soon got well. For the last 5 days (actually evenings around bedtime) he been constantly whinging about his "belly ache" no tears at all but that incessant whinge that we all have to go through and hate so much. At first we were concerned a bit but we sort of put two and two together and came to the conclusion he didn't have anything wrong with him. Once he tired himself out he crashed and slept as normal. He has woken up during the night a few times and did the whole belly ache thing but only after he went for a wee.

This never happens during the day when we are with him and what not but only when hes on his own, or will be on his own in his room. He does settle and in the morning hes totally fine. I spoke to a few people and they came to the conclusion like us thats he just wants attention.

Fast forward to today. Hes been 100% fine until I opened the curtains to our living room and he moaned about the sun shinning through "too light". Then his whinging started, soon after his belly hurt. I told him we are getting the xmas tree down today and suddenly he was fine whilst he helped me sort out the bags and boxes of decorations. he was excited. Then it started again as it was dinner time and I had to feed out 8 month old, again he would be eating in the same room but not having any attention so to speak from me as I am sorting out little one. The sound from him is unbearable. I really wanted to just chuck him under the stairs and hope Hagrid would come and take him.

Not too long ago I asked him whats wrong, stop moaning, etc etc and he calmed down, since then he just wanted hugs and cuddle on sofa to watch a movie. I told him later as I have to sort out his brother. It started again. Belly ache, moaning whinging etc. I just told him go to bed for a nap. He just went up and literally fell asleep right away.

Am I over looking the possibility that he is poorly (i doubt it) or is it just a 4 year old being a 4 year old? Please tell me some of you have had this and its a 4 year old being just that....

My 2.5 year old is going through a similar phase where she says different parts of her body hurt. We have come to the conclusion there is nothing wrong with her and its just a ploy for attention.
 
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