Office Farts (how do you sneak them out)

MuttsNutts · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:44

Just a bit of Banter to how you guys let them smelly one's out and pass the blame LOL

I currently work out on the road going to Business, Schools, Colleges Uni's etc repairing, servicing & installing PCs, Laptops, Servers and networking Equipment.... sometimes im in one place all day.

And from time to time like any bloke (girls too as we all know there's smell just as bad as ours

) the night before weve had a curry or something thats sets the gas flowing.... We have to let em out but there's me either crammed into a broom cuboard (so called IT Dept) full of IT bods or In a office full of hot women who you don't know and you let one out.....

Then what do you do?
Run?
Stay and hope no one knows it's you?
Blame somone else?
or what?

Im often in this predicemet advise and stories please LOL

Tombstone · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:45

I dont sneak them out, I just do them , then we all have a laugh about it, whack the air con on and make exaggerated comments to each other. Usually it has a kind of domino effect where once one person farts , others do too

Andr3w · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:47

Let it go and make sure it counts

Scuzi · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:49

Tombstone said:
I dont sneak them out, I just do them , then we all have a laugh about it, whack the air con on and make exaggerated comments to each other. Usually it has a kind of domino effect where once one person farts , others do too

This. Quite often it will turn into a competition to see who can be loudest, stinkiest, most watery, most funny etc...

Jumblejug · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:51

If the chair has a fabric seat, sneak them out and let the smell penetrate into it. Then reap the benefits when you stand up

Participant · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:51

As soon as there's a female around it's like someone turned off the bumhole switch. When it's just the lads, it's like World War II.

Gary* · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:52

Scuzi said:
This. Quite often it will turn into a competition to see who can be loudest, stinkiest, most watery, most funny etc...

Good Lord

sk3lph · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:53

You find if you want to play it safe and go to the toilet to play a tune on the bottom bugle then the urge to fart disappears, is if it only wants to come out when there is someone else around to appreciate the aural and aromatic qualities.

beachBOYken · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:54

watery fart! , that would leave a smell in your pants all day!

The IPB · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:55

One of the blokes I work with farts more than anyone I have ever met in my life, thankfully his are loud but scentless for the most part.

sk3lph · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:56

Dkore-DeX said:
One of the blokes I work with farts more than anyone I have ever met in my life, thankfully his are loud but scentless for the most part.

Also known as an empty threat.

Participant · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:56

I go into people's offices and do them and close the door on my way out.

MuttsNutts · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:56

Robbie G said:
As soon as there's a female around it's like someone turned off the bumhole switch. When it's just the lads, it's like World War II.

I agree when im in my office with the lads.... it's who's done that and we all follow suit.... But when im out stuck in offices full of hot women what can I do?

Participant · 27 Jan 2011 at 12:59

MuttsNutts said:
I agree when im in my office with the lads.... it's who's done that and we all follow suit.... But when im out stuck in offices full of hot women what can I do?

Hold it in? Or don't you possess an anal sphincter?

mangobreeder · 27 Jan 2011 at 13:02

you have two options

Fart and just sit on it until it goes away

or my preferred option of "crop dusting", take a walk around the office and let it sneak out, and then back to your desk where the air is pure.

MuttsNutts · 27 Jan 2011 at 13:03

Robbie G said:
Hold it in? Or don't you possess an anal sphincter?

They burn most times....LOL Had a KFC Zinger Burger last night and the spicy coating burns a little when you eat it but burn a hell of a lot more on the way out.....lol

DJMK4 · 27 Jan 2011 at 13:03

I usually start at 8am when there is no one else in the office, this is my morning fart time.

during the day, its off to the loo, stand at the urinal whilst im taking a whazz, usually I fart here too.

This sorts me out for the day.

AHarvey · 27 Jan 2011 at 13:04

Is it just me that doesn't do this? I also don't find it very funny in public. I've just never seen the humour behind it.

MuttsNutts · 27 Jan 2011 at 13:05

AHarvey said:
Is it just me that doesn't do this? I also don't find it very funny in public. I've just never seen the humour behind it.

You never had the ifart app on the iPhone?