On The Wagon... then in 'ere!

Brenn47 · 26 Feb 2017 at 00:58

Like a bloody idiot got drunk on wednesday, not impressed with my lack of willpower. Behaving myself now because I've a blood test on monday and my doctor wants to see me on Friday. Annoyed because I know I've buggered up my blood again which isn't good for Mondays blood test.

I suppose getting drunk once in three weeks isn't that bad.

phonemonkey · 26 Feb 2017 at 07:32

Brenn47 said:
I suppose getting drunk once in three weeks isn't that bad.

If my sister who isn't an alcoholic got drunk once in 3 weeks I'd agree. She isn't trying to abstain. You were. And you couldn't do it by yourself. No shame in that, many of us can't. Are you ready to accept that you are one of those people who can't drink in safety? Are you ready to WHATEVER IT TAKES to get, and more importantly stay sober? You're lkke me, I had no problems giving up the booze, I just couldn't stay stopped until I got to AA.

You know where the meetings are if you want them.

Good luck

Brenn47 · 26 Feb 2017 at 14:40

I'm back to the "the hangover wasn't THAT bad" stage completely forgetting just how crap it made me feel. I somehow need for break that cycle, not sure how though.

phonemonkey · 26 Feb 2017 at 14:45

Brenn47 said:
I'm back to the "the hangover wasn't THAT bad" stage completely forgetting just how crap it made me feel. I somehow need for break that cycle, not sure how though.

You know what worked for me when I had the same problem, I've told you. Now it's up to you.

Jimbeam3678 · 26 Feb 2017 at 16:07

Brenn47 said:
I'm back to the "the hangover wasn't THAT bad" stage completely forgetting just how crap it made me feel. I somehow need for break that cycle, not sure how though.

You've been told how to break this cycle, either take the advice given , finish the book suggested to you and report back or carry on drinking. There is only so many times you can post on here saying I've fallen off the wagon etc. Before people start to smell shannigans or think you need to want to stop in the first instance.

phonemonkey · 26 Feb 2017 at 16:38

Jimbeam3678 said:
You've been told how to break this cycle, either take the advice given , finish the book suggested to you and report back or carry on drinking. There is only so many times you can post on here saying I've fallen off the wagon etc. Before people start to smell shannigans or think you need to want to stop in the first instance.

Its good advice. The book didn't work for me, I read it and stayed sober for a few months but began romantisisng my drinking again; it wasn't that bad, I just need to exercise more control etc. I need meetings to stop that happening. I suspect, given that @Brenn47 seems to have a similar mind, and given that the book is 'boring' him I suspect he's in the same position.

That said its his sobriety and he should try it if he wishes.

I don't believe he's lying, I think he's just ill. Unfortunately I'm not sure there's much more I or we can do until he is willing to be proactive in his own recovery. I'll always be here for him when he's ready.

Brenn47 · 26 Feb 2017 at 17:27

Jimbeam3678 said:
You've been told how to break this cycle, either take the advice given , finish the book suggested to you and report back or carry on drinking. There is only so many times you can post on here saying I've fallen off the wagon etc. Before people start to smell shannigans or think you need to want to stop in the first instance.

I'm the same as phonemonkey, last a few weeks or months then the memories fade and I'm off the wagon again. The one thing that shocked me this week is that a lady "the queen of MySpace" died of liver failure at 35 due to alcohol abuse ... scary because I can guarantee I was drinking more than her and I'm not dead yet.

phonemonkey · 26 Feb 2017 at 17:33

Brenn47 said:
I'm the same as phonemonkey, last a few weeks or months then the memories fade and I'm off the wagon again. The one thing that shocked me this week is that a lady "the queen of MySpace" died of liver failure at 35 due to alcohol abuse ... scary because I can guarantee I was drinking more than her and I'm not dead yet.

Then I repeat

phonemonkey said:
You know what worked for me when I had the same problem, I've told you. Now it's up to you.

Only you can do it, even if you can't do it alone.

Brenn47 · 26 Feb 2017 at 17:56

I've already been told I had the third worst blood a hospital doctor had ever seen and I was lucky I went to hospital or I'd be dead.

Guess I need to put a bit more effort in. :/

Funnily enough, I found giving up smoking easy.

phonemonkey · 26 Feb 2017 at 18:03

Brenn47 said:
Guess I need to put a bit more effort in. :/

Goodness me yes! Now, what are you going to do NOW to put that effort in? You spoke about a meeting on Sundays more than a week ago. It's Sunday today....

I got sober in October 2015. I don't have a car and my local town at the time only had 1 meeting a week. I cycled 5 miles each way in the sleet, wind and rain of a Scottish winter to get to meetings EVERY SINGLE DAY I wasn't working because i wanted to geg sober. I took trains, buses, I walked. Eventually I made friends and I started getting lifts to meetings, but that's how determined I was to get sober.

I hated meetings to begin with, they seemed like burden, like a price to pay in order to stay sober. Again, so determined was I to stay sober I went anyway.

Brenn47 · 26 Feb 2017 at 20:43

How much were you drinking at your worst and what was your tipple of choice?

phonemonkey · 26 Feb 2017 at 21:35

Brenn47 said:
How much were you drinking at your worst and what was your tipple of choice?

It doesn't matter, though I'll tell you if think it'll help you. I drank enough often enough for my life to become sufficiently hellish that my desire to get sober became stronger than my desire to keep drinking. Alcohol dominated my life. I simply worked and drank. I wouldn't even go to the cinema unless we went for drinks too. I didnt want to drink, but I could imagine life without it. One day I'd had enough. I was willing to try anything, and I went to an AA meeting. I hadn't lost my driving license, still had a job, and a flat of my own. I Hadn't experiened any alcohol related phsical illhealth. There was no one begging me get help. I was just done. I'd had enough, I couldn't do it anymore. I realised that I couldn't do it myself, God knows I'd tried, and I was willing to try anything. Cycling 10miles in the sleet to sit in Church hall for an hour and a half didn't seem too much if it meant I didn't have to return to that hell. That's how much I wanted to get sober, how much effort I was willing to put into getting sober. I don't cycle anymore, but I still attend meetings every day I'm not a work. I work at my sobriety every day. I'll always have this illness, but meetings help me keep it under control.

Brenn47 · 27 Feb 2017 at 16:16

What drove you to give up, for me it 's the brutality of my hangovers, never used to get hangovers until I turned 35, now they're absolutely brutal, I guess it's my internal organs aren't doing so well, I already know my kidneys are buggered, need to ask if they'll recover. :/

Another blood test today, no idea what they're testing for, almost freaked out because on one of the test letters they had "BONE TEST" thought they were going to stick a needle in a bone, luckily it was just a normal blood test.

phonemonkey · 28 Feb 2017 at 20:31

I suppose I'd just become so fed up. I was scared by the lack of control I had; how I'd end up drunk when when I wanted to stay sober. It was the hundreds of failed promises, made both to myself and others. I was exhausted, I hadnt slept problerly in years, I could get up at 0500, and still be awake at 0300 the following morning drinking. Scary/ stupid things kept happening to me. It wasn't one thing or event, but a collection of small indignitiesI could no longer stomach.

I'll share my whole story with you in private, but its not for public consumption

Brenn47 · 28 Feb 2017 at 23:03

Sounds very much like me, not going to bed until everything in the house has been drunk, that's if I made it to bed and hadn't passed out on the sofa.

Tried to PM you but the forum wouldn't let me and I've no idea what "trust" is???

phonemonkey · 1 Mar 2017 at 19:40

Brenn47 said:
Sounds very much like me, not going to bed until everything in the house has been drunk, that's if I made it to bed and hadn't passed out on the sofa.

Tried to PM you but the forum wouldn't let me and I've no idea what "trust" is???

E-mailed you via trust mate

Brenn47 · 1 Mar 2017 at 20:39

Ahhhhh .... slight problem, I joined a long time ago and used a very old email address that I no longer can access because I forgot the password.

I've corrected the email address to a current one, any chance you can forward the email to my new address?

phonemonkey · 1 Mar 2017 at 21:33

Brenn47 said:
Ahhhhh .... slight problem, I joined a long time ago and used a very old email address that I no longer can access because I forgot the password.

I've corrected the email address to a current one, any chance you can forward the email to my new address?

Done

Brenn47 · 1 Mar 2017 at 21:45

This is odd, I've corrected the email address, got the confirmation email from OCUK proving it's correct, but no sign of an email from you???

No idea what's going on. :/

phonemonkey · 1 Mar 2017 at 21:46

Checked spam just in case?