One liners

Tiny Clanger · 15 Jan 2017 at 11:15

'When my grandfather became ill, my grandmother rubbed goose fat on his back. He went downhill quickly after that...'

(my favourite Milton Jones one-liner)

AndyCr15 · 15 Jan 2017 at 13:57

Your criteria...

Google tells me a 'One liner' is "a short joke or witty remark"

Lartyconshayo · 15 Jan 2017 at 14:29

I used to tell jokes about dyslexia. You should have seen the letters I got.

Ace Modder · 15 Jan 2017 at 16:18

Seriously, are you arguing over whether a one liner joke should be confined to a single sentence.

Some of you guys need to get a grip on life.

Dis86 · 15 Jan 2017 at 16:19

Ace Modder said:
Seriously, are you arguing over whether a one liner joke should be confined to a single sentence.

Some of you guys need to get a grip on life.

I don't get it. What's the punch-line? :confused:

AndyCr15 · 15 Jan 2017 at 16:46

Apparently it really upsets him. I prefer Google's use. Proabably more up to date.

lunar · 15 Jan 2017 at 17:27

5 out of 3 people can't do fractions

Judge Mental · 15 Jan 2017 at 18:06

"I asked the doctor if he could give me something for wind, he handed me a kite."

When I complained to the butcher about the price of venison, he said "I know, it's offal deer."

"The problem with bored dolphins is that they don't have a porpoise in life."

"Did you hear about the hipster lion? He was feline groovy"

Usher · 15 Jan 2017 at 18:19

35% of people can't spell and the other 70% can't add up

Dis86 · 15 Jan 2017 at 18:35

See, now they're proper one liners!

AndyCr15 · 15 Jan 2017 at 18:43

As are all the others. - https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/us/one-liner

Also, one of those is two sentences? Make your mind up!

AndyCr15 · 15 Jan 2017 at 18:59

It can't be superior if other sources say it's wrong.

**EDIT** Also, yours has the word 'usually' in it. Not exactly precise.

Diddums · 15 Jan 2017 at 19:01

Can't we just rename the threads to "short jokes and one liners" or something? This bickering is tedious.

BlueMerle · 15 Jan 2017 at 19:13

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor".

BlueMerle · 15 Jan 2017 at 19:26

Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

Amp34 · 15 Jan 2017 at 20:02

Dis86 said:
I don't get it. What's the punch-line?

Your face

Would you consider that a one liner?

GravyMonster · 15 Jan 2017 at 20:08

Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. Then it hit me.

Dis86 said:
And that's the problem, it's a loose definition on there. Define short. Short to one person is completely different to someone else, it's subjective. One person might think 5 sentences is short, one person might think 5 is too many.
Hence the link I posted - which is very clear in it's definition - is superior.

How about we just enjoy what this thread is about instead of you wasting 50% of the posts being wrong about what a one-liner is.

Dis86 · 15 Jan 2017 at 20:17

Amp34 said:
Your face

Would you consider that a one liner?

Yup. Not bad!

antijoke · 15 Jan 2017 at 21:47

At first I thought I could handle being a police detective who is suffering from schizophrenia. But now I'm starting to question myself?

something daft already!! · 15 Jan 2017 at 22:16

Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes.

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it.

Do you know why Boxers don't have sex before a fight? They don't fancy each other.

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian...