Pooping at work...

And this is why people choose to use the disabled toilets!

92% of the time this is a good strategy but there's always the chance that a previous user was a determined disabled man fighting Parkinson's, like kILLary, who proudly stands to urinate.
 
Do people really poop every day? I'm lucky if I can poop every three days. I wish I had a schedule but my poops come when they come and that could be any time of the day.

During the working week I have a big poo at 7:10am and then another big poo at 7:45am (yes 35 mins later!). It is very rare I poo at work.
During the weekend it can happen at anytime but I also have a problem that others will find strange - I don't fart.
If I'm ready to fart then I'm ready for a poo and this is due to something that happened to me in 1988.
 
Lies, everyone does it. It's probably a bit loose down there so slips out without you knowing.

I will agree with you to a point that everybody does let slip even without them knowing however you will never hear me do a fart noise like my mates can do except when I'm sitting on the toilet.
Like I said, if things start happening down there where I'm ready to fart then I have to find a toilet.
 
Odd movements yesterday.

11am : drop a turdpedo that had to be broken up with the bog brush before it would flush.

4pm : poonami of fizzy bum gravy that rendered trap 3 a no-go area further rest of the afternoon.
 
Bowel movements are usually pretty regular you can almost time them, you can also train your body to poop at certain times only. When I was out on the vans there was no access to toilets if you had go you had to make a special trip to the park or somewhere to use the public loos. Which involved a fair drive and a long walk so you made sure you got out of the habit of going during work hours pretty damn quick. One young lad we had with for a time simply couldn't control his bowel movements and we forever had to be looking for public loos for him which often didn't have any bog paper so he carried his own roll with him. On occasion he couldn't hang on and made a deposit round the back of some client's garden shed or somewhere. How we didn't get found out I'll never know...
 
There's some absolutely disgusting people at my work who leave the toilets in a terrible state.

Always follow the important rules before getting down to business:
Check working action of door lock
Check for sufficient paper
Wipe seat
Check working function of the flush
Relax
 
There's some absolutely disgusting people at my work who leave the toilets in a terrible state.

Always follow the important rules before getting down to business:
Check working action of door lock
Check for sufficient paper
Wipe seat
Check working function of the flush
Relax

Check for soap in dispenser!
 
Thinking about work toilets, does anyone else have a colleague / colleagues who seemingly shed pubic hair like no tomorrow!? I'm always confused by the amount of pubes in the urinals.
 
Had a wee in one of those picnic area's off the french motorways last month. Hole in the floor job.

Was nearly sick when I walked in. Brown stuff literally sprayed up the wall.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!!
 
At my last place we had a notice sent around after employing some contractors for a project from India. They were standing and squatting over the toilets, it was going everywhere but In the toilet it seemed. Once day there was even a few hand prints on the cubicle walls...
 
I was once on a fishing trip and needed to curl one off and all the place had was a Portaloo. So I jumped in and started pinching my loaf. Just then the door opens and a strange woman is stood there looking at me. We both just paused staring at each other for a few seconds till she closed the door. When I was done I came out and had to walk past her. That was awkward! :eek:
 
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