I generally don't bring attention to this fact - neither would I deny it, though - but I spent 3.5 years in prison (released in December, 2005) for white collar crime - twenty-two counts of fraud to be precise. It was from a bank and, being in a jurisdiction that relies heavily upon the finance industry, they tend to treat financial crime fairly harshly. Not that I'm complaining! I deserved my punishment!
Prison is a truly bizarre place and it is difficult to explain how it is a mixture of easy and downright impossible. Day to day life is fairly straightforward in that you have shelter, food, warmth etc. So, to those who struggle on the outside, it is often deemed a safe haven. On the flip side, those who have a life outside - families, children, whatever - the separation is incredibly difficult to cope with.
The prison in which I was incarcerated had to cater for all categories of prisoner plus youths and women - so it was slightly unusual by UK standards. Everyone starts off going to the main wing (probably similar to a UK cat B) unless you are considered vulnerable – either from yourself or from others – in which case you go straight to the VPU. You then have the possibility of being moved to “better accommodation” but only as you move more towards the end of your sentence. Ultimately, those closest to release, if they have behaved and passed drug swabs for a significant period, are allowed day release for work.
Whilst not something I would wish to repeat, it gave some fascinating (well, to me) insights on life.
The thing that stood out the most was how prison life blighted youth through the revolving door effect. A huge proportion of the inmate population had started their prison life as a youth. They had done something minor or stupid (probably drug or alcohol related) and ended up with a few weeks in prison. But because of this they could not get a job. They were also exposed to criminality on a much larger scale than they had experienced previously. As a result, (a) it was nigh on impossible for them to survive on the outside through lawful means; and (b) those with whom they now associated would generally be old friends from the prison. So their future was set and would be terribly difficult to break free from – they would continue their criminal ways, occasionally get caught, go back inside, be released, continue etc etc. This was especially so for those involved in drugs. Of those that I have met, very few seem to have had the ability to break free from this cycle.
Perhaps the scariest thing about prison, though, was the paranoia that it breeds and, as a result, violence is rife. Basically, if you walked past someone and they did not acknowledge you, your mind automatically goes into overdrive. The reality is that they were probably distracted, thinking about something else or whatever. But the paranoid mind starts to think “why did they ignore me, what have I done to upset them” and soon proceeds to “what if they are planning to attack me” and ultimately reaches “I’d better get them first”. So what started as an innocent slight easily develops into a stabbing or another stair tripping incident. This may sound extreme but, having been on the receiving end, I can guarantee this actually happens.
I could go on for ages about my experiences but I doubt they would be considered very interesting! What I would say is that if you have to urinate in a bucket, make sure you check it first. A favoured practical joke was to fill buckets with bleach so when someone urinates, there is a chemical reaction which creates horrendous fumes – in a rather confined space.
Thanks very much for posting your story and experience. May I ask a few questions?
1: How have you found having prison time on your record has affected your chances on the outside - for instance when applying for a job?
2: Has your time in prison acted as a detterent? I understand your circumstances were a bit special and you basically lost your temper - but generally - would your knowledge of what it is like inside make you think twice?
3: Whats the temperature & smell like in prison? Strange question but i imagine it must be *** fully star out swearies in future *** awful when you first walk through the door on a hot summers day.
4: What are the first few days like?
5: How would you improve the prison service?
1. Unsurprisingly, I have not managed to get back into the finance industry! But I do now have a senior management position in a different area. Initially, it was very difficult to find any employment but once you get a step on the ladder, it gets a little easier. Admittedly, I was very highly qualified and, more importantly, willing to offer my services cheaply just to get a position. So I expect I am the exception rather than the rule.
2. I found myself in unique circumstances when I committed my crimes. I think the separation element certainly left a lasting impression but I do not believe that prison works as a deterrent for the majority of the prison population. Many would have been high or plastered when committing their offence, the remainder simply didn’t believe they would get caught.
3. I actually don’t recall. My arrival was an horrendous experience but the thing that I remember more than anything else was wondering why the prison officer escorting me to my cell had not offered to help carry my things! I was so naïve!
4. Again, I don’t really recall but, as a newcomer, you tend to be the centre of attention for a while as people check you out and try to find out a bit more about you. I thought they were all being friendly but, of course, that was not an accurate assumption.
5. That would take too long to say. But the key, to my mind, would be to focus on restorative measures together with education and rehabilitation.
