Public toilets should play loud music by law

A friend of mine once let out an almighty (and highly impressive) fart in the toilets of a Cafe in Covent Garden one evening.

It was so impressive it seems, that a guy in one of the cubicles decided a round of applause was warranted :)
 
as I posted in another thread, nothing compares to the experience of Leeds Primark Staff Toilets, honestly its horrible, especially certain members of staff, if you see them go in you walk straight back out

That said some customers are just as bad, it's not been unknown to find a choccy log in the jumper tables on the shop floor, or in the customer lifts or fitting rooms. You have to be careful where you put your hands, there's always one knocking about
 
A guy I once worked with was out at the pub with all our work collegues. He needed to go but someone was in the cubicle so he pinched one off in a urinal.


There's another story about him getting naked and falling off his desk in work too but I'll save that one for the "Don't you hate it when people get naked at work and fall off furniture" thread
 
floatindolphin said:
A guy I once worked with was out at the pub with all our work collegues. He needed to go but someone was in the cubicle so he pinched one off in a urinal.
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My older brother did that when he was in the army. He came back to base blind drunk and thought it would be hilarious to crap in the urinal. He says he woke up with a vague recollection of it happening and was then fully awakened by one of the superiors screaming and shouting down the hall. Nobody owned up so they all got beasted for hours.
 
Atrox Moris said:
My older brother did that when he was in the army. He came back to base blind drunk and thought it would be hilarious to crap in the urinal. He says he woke up with a vague recollection of it happening and was then fully awakened by one of the superiors screaming and shouting down the hall. Nobody owned up so they all got beasted for hours.
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Ah, the mystery of the urinal deuce. The South Park episode from which most of these references have been taken!
 
Thankyou for this thread all concerned it has truly made my day, had about 4 round the screen in the office reading it :)

Now back to serious discussions.

We all know the mystery of the missing sock that gets lost in the wash only to make a bid for freedom.

Well has anyone else experienced the phantom chocolate thief. When you are delivering the ultimate poo the phantom chocolate theif nips in and removes ol brown face before he has time to splash and leave nota single trace of the event.

Then im left enjoying the most glorious dump yet confused at why i have no prise staring up to take a photo of. (btw please tell me im not the only one who has sent a jobbie MMS to a mate when ******) i once had one which touched both sides of the bowl and if my dear father was still alive im sure he would have wept for his son in pride :)
 
Music should be played! Went for a crap in wetherspoons once when i couldn't hold any longer and the silence annoyed me and i wondered if someone was actually in the cubical next to me.....until they let rip....was quite disgusting. It did make me feel ok about letting rip too though!
 
For some reason i can't sit on the toilet seat, I find it uncomfortable and awkward.. so I find it best to hover.

I even do this on my own toilet, anyone else hover?
 
Nice thread, a few lols.

sharpygsxr said:
(btw please tell me im not the only one who has sent a jobbie MMS to a mate when ******)
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Sorry, but that's just....foul.

Anyway, at work the only time anyone every goes to the gents is just before we all get out on delivery, so the toilets are usually pretty packed with working class types. Once or twice I've gone for a sprinkle in the stalls and it's pretty funny hearing the folks in the adjacent stalls all simultaneously wipe/zip up and leave as fast as possible as soon as they hear someone enter and close the stall door. I think I'll do it just to be annoying if I have a bad day.
 
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GD productions present:

A Bog’s Tale, Part 1

When the brown Frog leapt out of the bog singing,

"You hit the bog Jack and don't you dump no more, no more, no more, no more.

You the bog Jack and don't you dump no more.

What you say?"

The huge chocolate mudmonkey replied,

"You hit my bum Frog and don't you splashback no more, no more, no more, no more.

You hit my bum Frog and don't you splashback no more.”

The brown sea turtle heard this and said,

“What you say?"

The huge chocolate mudmonkey said nothing, he grabbed the brown frog and shoved it around the bend, farted and ate the brown sea turtle.

Part 2

The brown Trout released a brown tsunami of biblical proportions and there was the biggest Kraken ever seen!! It had breached the surface and was standing proud! Must've been a least a foot long!

The brown trout yelled,

"I've given birth to a monster and I'm gonna call him Bobby Brown."

Part 3

.................
 
Jonny ///M said:
Music should be played! Went for a crap in wetherspoons once when i couldn't hold any longer and the silence annoyed me and i wondered if someone was actually in the cubical next to me.....until they let rip....was quite disgusting. It did make me feel ok about letting rip too though!
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It's a competition!!

CONTENDER, RRREAADY!!!
 
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