Rampant lies grown-ups told you.

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My mum told me that I had to give up my pacifier so the baby dolphin can have it instead, because it was crying ...
 
When my dad used to get his car keys and shoes on as if to go out I would always say:

"where you going?"

Dad: "To xyz and back to see how far it is"

Me: "Really, can I come?"

omg i was stupid lol.
 
When I reach 12 I would have to have one eye removed by a staple removed.
God knows why my dad and my bro told me that, I kept asking why they didn't and they said they did and they had glass eyes...thanks guys!!

The other one, not so much a lie, they used to take me to the arcades on the seafront and put a pound in the change machine and tell me I had won!!
 
My (read mine and Piggymons) mum used to tell me that if I played with my bellybutton my bum would fall off.

Ooooo....and if you told a lie your tounge would go black.

And Piggymon will confirm this one....we had the TRUTH MEDICINE, which our mum would force us to take if she thought we were lying...in fact all it was was sesame paste but it tasted foul and we would sooner get a rollocking than take the TRUTH MEDICINE.


Oh and Piggymon use to lie about me breaking her dolls heads off, she did it so that I would get into to trouble, I garaunte that she'll deny it, but it's the truth!!!
 
Kamikaze_Pigeon said:
Oh and Piggymon use to lie about me breaking her dolls heads off, she did it so that I would get into to trouble, I garaunte that she'll deny it, but it's the truth!!!
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Oh My God !! .. You always say that !! .. I sooo did not do that and you always say that I will deny it so I look like I am when I tell the truth ! :p
 
i had that if I lied my nose would go soft and if Mum knew i was lying she wouild push the end 'cause it is soft and if i was telling the truth she would push the bridge, grr

also, my brother told me that the toilet brush was to clean out your bum, luckily i asked my sister first...
 
My mum used to sit me down on a saturday afternoon by the kitchen table and berate me for about 5 hours about how useless I was, how unpopular and pathetic, how I didn't have any common sense etc.

All lies.
 
One that springs to mind happened every Christmas until I was old enough to know Santa wasn't real. Conversation went something like;

Me: Dad, can we leave milk and biscuits out for Santa?
Dad: Milk and biscuits, don't be such a poof son, Santa is a real man, give him something proper to keep him going.
Me: Umm Lucozade?
Dad: How about we leave him 6 tins of Guinness, half a bottle of whiskey and a packet of chocolate digestives?
Me: Woo yay.

The realisation that santa didnt exist was when I was about 7 I came down the stairs at about 5am to find my dad lying on the couch, bottle of whiskey in hand and 6 empty tins on the floor. I woke him up wondering what had happened.

Dad: Jaysus, what are you doing up?
Me: Has Santa been, are you santa?
Dad: Umm..ohh..ehhhh aye Santa and me had a wee drink together, he's not long gone.........not a bad fella.

I wasn't convinced.
 
My parents told me that apple seeds had cyanide in them! I still haven't dared to eat apple cores!

Another one from my dad was that sometimes spiders hid in the end of banana skins - which is once again why I still never eat the end of the banana and just throw it away!

I'm 19.
 
When me and my cousins were little (My cousing being TomaHawk) my Grandad was always filming with his video camera. Something I'm now very grateful for as I can see myself as a nipper!

Anyway, he used to tell us that if he switched on the infra-red mode he could see through our clothes! He used to wind us up saying he would switch it on! (sounds a bit creepy now actually, all meant in fun though).

Umm... My other grandparents used to have me convinced that they had magical powers and somehow I was able to carry this power but not use it. I was probably around 6 at the time and loved magic tricks. My grandad used to show me some tricks, just palming toy cars and money really. Sometimes he would try and do it and fail on purpose. It would then be my job to rub my Nan's arm to absorb some magical power and then do the same to my Grandad transering it to him. The trick would then work.

Sometimes he would palm stuff away and say it was floating around the room and I used to say I could see it as I wanted the "power" but never had it.
 
My parents had a weird way of keeping me well behaved.

If I'd been bad, they'd tell me that the good Alasdair had gone to Spain. Vice versa if I'd been good. I always liked it when the bad Alasdair was in Spain, yet I didn't make the distinction that I was both Alasdairs. I thought that maybe the other me was in Spain, but I never met him.
 
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