Rampant lies grown-ups told you.

[HangTime]

Suprised no-ones mentioned Father Christmas yet.

I vaguely remember a coversation about where babies comes from - no cabbage patch lies, something along the lines of:

mum: "when the man wants to make a baby he produces a seed which comes out through his willy"
me: "but how does he know when? doesn't it come out when he goes to the toilet??"
mum: "he just knows."

followed by giving birth:
mum: "the baby comes out of the womans bottom"
me: "but how does she know when? what happens if she's sat on the toilet and it comes out??"
mum: "she just knows."

 

[4T5]

Yoink....
And Cheers...


Hilarious..

 

[Trick]

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

Not in Doncaster apparently

 

[Dunks]

Suprised no-ones mentioned Father Christmas yet.

You mean its a lie?

 

[Phate]

if you don't eat the crusts off the bread your teeth would fall out

my dad made me believe it so much, he said when he was at school, he saw a kid who didnt eat his crusts bite into an apple and his two front teeth came out with the apple!


dads aye

 

[nikebee]

Nice bloke, he called Andy Cole a "Stealth Bomber" once, back when Man United had an all black away strip.

LOL awesome - shouldn't laugh but thats great

all the stuff i got told have been said already

 

[Hearny]

I tell my kids if the Icecream man is playing music it means he's run out of icecream

I know, I know, I'm going straight to hell!

I HATE the ice cream man. What is it with that music???? "if you go down to the woods today....." sounds well dodgy to me?????

I remember asking my Dad where Mum was on lots of occasions. I expect she was probably shopping or something, but he always used to say "she's ran off with a black man"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[alexakasloth]

My grandad when I said I've never tried fried mushrooms:It'll make your winkle grow
lol, he was so drunk.

 

[The_Blue_Dragon]

When ever my mum went out some where, if we said "Where are you going?" she would say "Im going to see a man about a dog who picked his nose, the dirty ******"

 

[BrightonBelle]

Eat your crusts if you want curly hair

I ate crusts forever when I was a little kid

To the point when I was old enough to know that very few Chinese people have curly hair, and being half Chinese I realised that curly hair was just not going to happen! Got my hair permed once and had to have it done twice! Looked shocking - never again!

And to ensure that this never happens (even by accident) I don't eat crusts to this day...

ha ha

BB x

 

[Simian]

Got my hair permed once and had to have it done twice! Looked shocking - never again!

Any Photographic Proof???...

 

[Bubo]

My dad used to say to me, if you go to prison they only give you bread and water to eat. Now if that isn't true, I bloody well want to know why not.

He also used to say if I didn't clean my ears out potatoes would grow in them. Beggars and tramps take note, a free source of food under your very nose. Or slightly to the left/right of your nose to be precise.

 

[Karbon]

I HATE the ice cream man. What is it with that music???? "if you go down to the woods today....." sounds well dodgy to me?????

I remember asking my Dad where Mum was on lots of occasions. I expect she was probably shopping or something, but he always used to say "she's ran off with a black man"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah the old "ran away with a darkie" gota love the saying.

 

[Piggymon]

I remember asking my Dad where Mum was on lots of occasions. I expect she was probably shopping or something, but he always used to say "she's ran off with a black man"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG !! My Mum used to say that ! LOL !!

If I shouted around the house to see where she was she would reply back with that

 

[KaHn]

The best ive heard from one of my mates was,

"My mam said "If you get wee on your shoes it melts the rubber""

This was at a grand old ages of 14ish he proceeded to get it ripped out of him for some time.

KaHn

 

[Sp!ke]

If the wind changes you'll stick like that It did and I didn't.

And slightly randomly by a schoolfreinds brother
If you fart in the bath your bum will fill up with water wtf???

 

[Stan_Lite]

I remember asking my Dad where Mum was on lots of occasions. I expect she was probably shopping or something, but he always used to say "she's ran off with a black man"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mine used to say she'd run off with a soldier.

Stan

 

[Aliboy]

Whenever my mum used to ask us what we wanted for your tea that night and we said 'Anything', she used to say 'Don't say that because you'll get ***** (rhymes with white) and sugar for your tea'.

We usually just played it safe and asked for fish fingers after that

 

[Piggymon]

My Mum used to say I would have a Woopsie Sandwich

 

[Stan_Lite]

Whenever my mum used to ask us what we wanted for your tea that night and we said 'Anything', she used to say 'Don't say that because you'll get ***** (rhymes with white) and sugar for your tea'.

We usually just played it safe and asked for fish fingers after that

I tought that was just my Mam (although she used to say "***** with sugar on it" when we asked what was for tea). Just goes to show how universal some of these things are.

Stan