relationship problems :/ whos in the wrong?

hellarda said:
hi guys,

Just wondering if someone can give me an opinion hear.

basically i met this girl on holiday in greece last year, nothing happened in greece, nothing out of the ordinary, this was august last year.

in about mid november we started texting and i found out she lives about 2 hours away from me. weve been getting pretty close recently, and the only reason were not going out is cos of the distance...
she sed she really likes me and i really like her too.

however on saturday she went to a friends for a sleepover and ended up doing stuff with a guy there (that apparently she has liked for a while but not told me)

she is now telling me that she doesnt want to be anything more than friends and ive said to her that that would be really hard on me because i like her so much having to only think of her as friend would (and does) really hurt me.

and now shes getting annoyed with me because i cant accept that she just wants to be friends with me now :( and we've been arguing since monday and i havent slept since then :(

what do you think i should do? am in the wrong here?

sorry if this sounds stupid :/

im only 16 and really dont know what to do....

cheers

ali
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kinda says it all mate, you're young...there's LOADS of fish in the sea. Go get the auld confidence back by going to a club and seeing if you still got the touch ;)
 
hellarda said:
hi guys,

Just wondering if someone can give me an opinion hear.

basically i met this girl on holiday in greece last year, nothing happened in greece, nothing out of the ordinary, this was august last year.

in about mid november we started texting and i found out she lives about 2 hours away from me. weve been getting pretty close recently, and the only reason were not going out is cos of the distance...
she sed she really likes me and i really like her too.

however on saturday she went to a friends for a sleepover and ended up doing stuff with a guy there (that apparently she has liked for a while but not told me)

she is now telling me that she doesnt want to be anything more than friends and ive said to her that that would be really hard on me because i like her so much having to only think of her as friend would (and does) really hurt me.

and now shes getting annoyed with me because i cant accept that she just wants to be friends with me now :( and we've been arguing since monday and i havent slept since then :(

what do you think i should do? am in the wrong here?

sorry if this sounds stupid :/

im only 16 and really dont know what to do....

cheers

ali
Click to expand...

Dude,

Have some self respect and cut her out completely. I did just this last October (although she hadn't done anything with anyone...to my knowledge). And it took about 6 weeks to get over her (we were together for 1.5 years).

Trust me, you're better off without. Her going to a party and doing things with a guy she 'liked for a long time' is no way for her to justify it, if you guys liked each other as much as you say you both did, then she wouldn't be doing that.

Call her a w**** and be done with it.

Hope this helps.
 
TommyV said:
Dude,

Have some self respect and cut her out completely. I did just this last October (although she hadn't done anything with anyone...to my knowledge). And it took about 6 weeks to get over her (we were together for 1.5 years).

Trust me, you're better off without. Her going to a party and doing things with a guy she 'liked for a long time' is no way for her to justify it, if you guys liked each other as much as you say you both did, then she wouldn't be doing that.

Call her a w**** and be done with it.

Hope this helps.
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cheers, yeh that does help a lot. I (stupidly) kept thinking it was just me with this bad luck....but at least i now know im not.

the main thing im trying to do is to stop it from affecting my work tbh....
 
@OP - We've all been there mate. Unfortunately you can't foresee this stuff, it just happens. Relationships are a bit trial-and-error like that. You'll learn to care less about it as you get older.
 
MonkeyMan said:
Move on son.

Don't fall into the trap of just being her friend while secretly waiting for her to fall for you. It'll never happen!

You want more than her, yet you've hardly met each other so cut her off. Don't look at her facebook or respond to all her texts (you can be friendly but don't respond straight away, distance yourself).

I've known guys that waste years waiting for girls to come around, it never happens! Maybe in Hollywood but not in real life.

Edit: Oh and don't grovel either, she'll never respect you.
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This so true !

Listen to us older chap's, as we have been where you are now leaving from !
 
Keep your chin up mate. :) Your only 16.

Try not to think of her too much and just go out and meet other people and have your friends around you.
 
nobody likes a cling on that cant let go, the more you cling the more you climb the ladder of hate. Shes probably not interested because she sees you as needy, or just because shes not interested. My advice would be to be cool about it, let her know your feelings towards her but also let her understand that you know how she feels and that she is still important to you as a friend. This is the part where you make her jealous, hit on other girls and find one that is potential dating material. Theres always that chance you might like her more and things could work out and theres always that chance she might come back to you
 
friend zone is a place many guys get stuck, girl after girl. Ditch the nice guy stuff, girls want a charmer, confidence, fun, adventure and spontaneity be those things as well as the nice guy (friendly, understanding, trustworthy, ect, ect) and you stand a far better chance of it working out I can promise you
 
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