secret comes out...

TommoUK · 2 May 2006 at 18:25

FirebarUK said:
Sorry Richdog, someone had to say it and get that line of tact going. It sounds as though she just hasn't given it enough thought. Perhaps with her first boyfriend or whatever she just did it in a moment of passion then tried to justify it - its not a personal dig against her. I can imagine that as its what I tried to do! Perhaps her first boyfriend pressured her into it. I'm just saying that she shouldn't just give up, although I'm undoubtably talking to the wrong person.

It seems like you're making a rather fruitless argument. Although it's true she could have been pressured into sex, there is absolutely no evidence to support this, and it is just as plausible if not more so that she had sex because she wanted to. I believe this is the general reason

.

Look at it this way, she is going out with you and you probably won't become a Christian by the sounds of it (although we don't know this!), where is your future together? And as said, how will you bring up children?

I think Richdog has already said that he cannot help who he loves, as can nobody else. And he mentioned that the religious differences have never been an obstacle in his relationship. It could be that both participants have enough respect for each other to set differences like this aside

. The bringing up of children is an interesting question. I can only speak for myself, but if I were in that position I would try to best allow my children to have their own beliefs. It's impossible to not influence your children though, so I agree if there is one issue in a relationship between a very pious person and a more rational person (

), this is it. I would for this reason be wary of a relationship with a heavily religious girl, in long-term prospects.

The bible doesn't specifically say don't marry a non-christian, it just says that if you do get married the non-christian should not hold the other down and stop them from growing. It involves a lot of careful thinking!

What do you mean by "stop them growing"?

FirebarUK · 2 May 2006 at 18:28

But i've already covered this... it's something she doesn't want to try to resist. She wouldn't like it as much as I wouldn't.

I suppose I'd be more interested to see what she thinks. I'm just finding it hard as a Christian to understand her thinking behind her decision.
The word of Christ is seen as definitive, naturally I make mistakes myself but I'm not like "ah well, what the hey, I'll just carry on doing the wrong thing".

What do you mean by "stop them growing"?

Growing in their relationship and understanding in Christ.

Richdog · 2 May 2006 at 18:35

FirebarUK said:
I suppose I'd be more interested to see what she thinks. I'm just finding it hard as a Christian to understand.

I can promise you with 100% certainty that I have never cajoled or 'persuaded' her into doing anything against her will (not saying that you mean I have, just saying that it was entirely of her how volition). She is a sexual person... she can't simply "switch it off" it's just the way she is and she knows its against christian tenents but it's how she has chosen to live her life and I know she doesn't regret a moment of it. You'll jut have to take my word for it... I know her inside and out, and vice versa.

FirebarUK · 2 May 2006 at 19:05

I see what your saying, I'm just so confused that she doesn't care - because she should! by all Christian "terms and conditions" she should care.

Anyhow its a good discussion

TommoUK · 2 May 2006 at 19:20

FirebarUK said:
I see what your saying, I'm just so confused that she doesn't care - because she should! by all Christian "terms and conditions" she should care.

Anyhow its a good discussion

Well as you know there are a huge assortment of christian sects, protestant, catholic and quakers to name just a few. With something that has many different translations and interpretations as the Bible, why is it hard to believe someone in this modern day will have their own system of beliefs, slightly detached from the archetypal Christian?

Who knows
maybe there isn't a vein of stars callin' out my name
they'll glow from above our heads
nothin' there to see you down on your knees
25, 26, 27
back from the future maybe there aint no heaven
there's just you and me
maybe that's just as well
& if there aint no heaven
maybe there ain't no hell

Richdog · 2 May 2006 at 19:34

FirebarUK said:
I see what your saying, I'm just so confused that she doesn't care - because she should! by all Christian "terms and conditions" she should care.

Anyhow its a good discussion

I just asked her about it, and she does feel guilty about it in some respects but says she is happier this way than if she had waitesd and it's what she prefers. Lesser of two evils I guess.

FirebarUK · 2 May 2006 at 19:34

archetypal Christian?

There are a lot of sects, there are also some very very lax churches which believe that you can do whatever you want, you just need to believe in Jesus. Perhaps she goes to one? Perhaps the OP aswell should investigate more?

Thing is, its not open for negotiation. Jesus asks and tells us to follow in his footsteps, to heed his guidance and listen to the morals instilled in us from our creation. He tells us not just in a dominatory sense, but in guidance. He doesn't want us messed up, he wants us to stay intact is it were.
Each time you have sex with someone it brands you, taints you. Part of them is left with you and this DOES effect you. Each time you have sex with someone else you compare, you might not be totally aware because of the moment but you compare the last person you had with the current. Its a distraction and it isn't supposed to be that way imo.

We've come so far off topic

lol - good chat though.

zain · 2 May 2006 at 21:14

Richdog said:
My girlfriend is very christian, she believes firmly in God and The Bible, is possible one of the sweetest, nicest and genuinely good-hearted people in the entire world yet we still have unmarried sex.

She says in this world there is no way you can avoid sinning, so if it's going to happen it might as well be something that she enjoys and that causes no hurt to anyone else, as she doesn't lie and would never cheat, and always puts others before herself. Put it this way there's no way she ain't going to heaven if it does exist.

It's fine by me, and we've been together 1.5 years now.

hahahhah that was a good one

Reminds me of Jenna Jamesons documentary, she claims to be very christian and anyone who says she isnt religious is wrong as it says (in her words this) in the bible "thou shalt not judge"

lmfao sorry erm where was I

oh yeah, it also says you shouldnt commit fornication but she convienently missed that out didnt she

much like your gf. Im not doubting shes nice, but to simply give in like that doesnt show much religious respect...

jezsoup · 2 May 2006 at 22:02

Richdog said:
I just asked her about it, and she does feel guilty about it in some respects but says she is happier this way than if she had waitesd and it's what she prefers. Lesser of two evils I guess.

Erm how does she know she is happier now than if she has waited. Surely thast not somethign you can till you are married??

As a christian you are called not to compromise on what the Bible says, your told to live your life as the Bible teaches and strive to do this. Yes no one will ever reach it and everyone sins and slips up. But you should never as a Christain turn round and go "oh well im always going to sin in one way or another one more thing wont hurt" Christains with thats kind of attitude (from personal experiance) miss out on a lot!

geeza · 2 May 2006 at 22:40

please please wear this to you next dinner party with them.

(i got rid,was a tshirt on tshirthell)

remove if not allowed here

jezsoup · 2 May 2006 at 22:53

geeza said:
please please wear this to you next dinner party with them.

remove if not allowed here

Some things are funny and other things are just down right offensive and stupid, guess which one that is :/

Vanilla · 2 May 2006 at 23:00

Didn't anyone tell you, picking on someone because of their religious beliefs or grouping is racist.

jezsoup · 2 May 2006 at 23:03

Vanilla said:
Didn't anyone tell you, picking on someone because of their religious beliefs or grouping is racist.

Its ok its only directed at christians he can get away with that :rolleyes:

geeza · 2 May 2006 at 23:10

persoanlly i think religion is evil and it does more bad than good i.e wars. but each to their own i suppose

jezsoup · 2 May 2006 at 23:15

geeza said:
persoanlly i think religion is evil and it does more bad than good i.e wars. but each to their own i suppose

So just because you think that means its ok for you to go round offending as you please?

Arcade Fire · 2 May 2006 at 23:17

I don't really see a problem with it, as long as she doesn't take it upon herself to try and convert you. She needs to respect your beliefs, and you hers. Open discussion is fine - actively trying to convert each other is not.

Vanilla said:
Didn't anyone tell you, picking on someone because of their religious beliefs or grouping is racist.

Yawn.

Arcade Fire · 2 May 2006 at 23:20

zain said:
oh yeah, it also says you shouldnt commit fornication but she convienently missed that out didnt she much like your gf. Im not doubting shes nice, but to simply give in like that doesnt show much religious respect...

I disagree. One of the best things about Christianity - at least, non-Catholic Christianity - is that it gives each person the power to interpret the religion as they see fit. An intelligent Christian will realise that the Bible was written by humans and can't possibly be 100% the word of God, and certainly isn't meant to be taken literally. It should be viewed as a book to give spiritual support and to enable you to further your understanding of your religion - NOT as an infallible guide to life.

geeza · 2 May 2006 at 23:21

jezsoup said:
So just because you think that means its ok for you to go round offending as you please?

who took the jam out your doughnut? (along with others here)

geeza · 2 May 2006 at 23:22

Originally Posted by Vanilla
Didn't anyone tell you, picking on someone because of their religious beliefs or grouping is racist.
-

Yawn.

lol

jezsoup · 2 May 2006 at 23:23

geeza said:
who took the jam out your doughnut? (along with others here)

Expalin?

What do you expect me to be like when you post something which I find offensive?