Sex After Marriage????

I'm a Christian, 23 years old, male. Lost my virginity with a girlfriend November last year, I wasn't her first and kinda felt this pressure to do it to keep her in a way. At the time I thought it was the right thing to do, but we broke up about February time. If I could take back any one thing I'd done in my life, it would be that.

There will be many people who'll tell you to do it, but you know if it's right for you or not, don't be pressured into doing something like that. If the person won't accept it or won't date you because of it, then are they really someone you're looking to date?

Yes there are people out there who'll wait, it's just a case of finding them.
 
Megz2007 said:
Would you date a girl who had such views??
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Nope. Really don't have any religious tendancies at all, so find the whole concpt of abstenance a bit freaky.

richard104 said:
I am also a Christian lost my virginity a couple of weeks ago in a 1ns and i wished i had waited for someone special. it sucked anyway.
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Don't get disheartened, your first time usually does suck, even if it is with "someone special".
 
What a lovely concept. :)


But as much as I hate to rain on peoples parade, I personally don't believe you can really know someone until you know them physically as well as mentally.
 
i find it kinda odd nowadays and i think having had a few different girlfriends i'd have been gutted if i married the first one i went with.... i need a very open minded woman lol.

you find out what you like and dont like and think its important that you find a good match.
 
I know Christian friends who have stuck to the no sex before marriage, I also know a lot of Christian friends who didn't.

Looks at those with the illegitimate kids and messed up relationships and those that are doing ok…………….sees correlation.

Anyone who sticks to the no sex before marriage for personal or religious reasons deserve a medal.

As for sex after marriage, not much chance of that either :p

You know its not just the fact the girl / bloke have waited till marriage that’s important but that they (for what ever reason) have managed to show self restraint and not given in on their own beliefs or choices which will proabably reflect how they value / live their lives.
 
OP - no offence but your sex life is going to be crap. Sex after marriage, that's when it stops.

Why waste one of the good things in life?
 
The whole "you don't know someone and whether you're suited to be with them for life until you've had sex with them" argument doesn't really wash with me. So many couples use that, but when you ask them if they have joint bank accounts, they don't. They share the sex, but not the money. Both can be equally as important in a relationship, I've seen marriages and relationships hit the rocks over money, so why not that too? Usually it boils down to the fact that sex is way more fun than giving someone else your money.
 
I'd date a girl who didn't want to have sex before marriage if I really liked her (and thought there was a chance of making it to marriage!). Are you a christian because if not I can't really understand the rationale behind the decision. Not having one night stands or short term relationships I can understand, but no sex before marriage full stop seems a bit pointless to me seeing how many divorces there are nowadays.

EDIT: As long as you aren't some weirdo who's freaked out by sex like that woman in On Chesil Beach!
 
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richard104 said:
I am also a Christian lost my virginity a couple of weeks ago in a 1ns and i wished i had waited for someone special. it sucked anyway.
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richard104 said:
Thanks for the encouragement guys! :p

^^^ That just makes me feel a loser but i suppose you have to fix up and face your actions...
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Don't beat yourself up over it, out of interest what made you make the choice to?
 
It's an old fashioned way of thinking that is simply passed on from generation to generation with no logical grounds on which to base it.

Why does not having sex before marriage show you are any more committed to the other person than somebody who has had sex? It's because having sex is put on a little pedestal by people with this mindset as though it's something sacred and amazing. This is wrong because sex is our most primal instinct and it is simply a physical act.

On the flip side, having sex with somebody you love is fantastic and I believe that depriving yourself of that special bond until you're married is actually more damaging to the relationship as high expectations are created and the pressure when it finally does come to happen is artificially high. For it to be as natural, enjoyable and most importantly real, I believe it should be spontaneous. Not performed as some sort of pre-meditated act.
 
I was a bit drunk at the time and it kind of happened. Met someone older than me when out and the rest is histroy. I thought it would change me for the better and make me more sorted if you get what i mean. But i soon learnt that it wasn't what i thought i needed....
 
I dont think virginity is a special thing really, I think its really great you want to save it for the right guy but I think you will be VERY hard pressed to find someone who really enjoyed there first time (two virgins) its usually a pretty painful awkward and bloody affair and the danger is you build up so much hype by waiting that it will be a huge letdown, wait for the right guy but not really marriage imho.
 
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