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Soak blood stains with milk before washing. No more blood stains.
Remove candle wax from wood or carpets, by placing kitchen roll over the wax and then heating it up with either a hair drier or an iron. The melted wax will soak into the paper towel :D

Oh and don't post a tip thread in GD and expect serious replies ;)
 
Make shopkeepers feel like criminals and con men by carefully checking their change and holding bank notes up to the light before accepting them.

or

Apply red nail varnish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting varnish should be selected).
 
Ladies

Carry a garden broom in the boot of your car so you can quickly clean up the unsightly mess of shattered plastic caused by those oh so common car park collisions.

When commuting, take time to notice where the train doors are when it stops, allowing you to grab the best spot for getting a seat in the morning rush. Defend this space from intruders with your life!

Tourists/Civillians. Avoid London's major stations and underground system between the hours of 8am and 9am and 5pm and 6pm. Failing to do so can cause frustration in those who ACTUALLY HAVE TO CATCH A TRAIN TO GET HOME/TO WORK AT A REASONABLE TIME.

Tories - avoid the dissapointment of a 4th general election defeat by switching allegience to the New Labour Party (tm)
 
Don't leave unopened cans of coke in cars when they are left outside overnight and the temperatures go below zero, they will explode leaving half defrosted coke syrup all over the inside of the car. Happens to my flatmate all the time.
 
Sirrel Squirrel said:
Don't put a sock in the toaster, it sets on fire
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:eek: :eek: :eek:

BMW drivers.
When approaching a traffic jam on a motorway, feel free to do a last minute swerve into the lane I'm in, halving the braking distance I was allowing myself and putting the horses I was transporting on their ******* knees.
 
Bony Maloney said:
Remove candle wax from wood or carpets, by placing kitchen roll over the wax and then heating it up with either a hair drier or an iron. The melted wax will soak into the paper towel :D
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Really? I came back to a um... "romantic setting" one night and managed to kick one of the candles on the bedside over and need to get wax out of the duvet cover so this is awesome! Cheers!
 
BMW drivers - when you buy your car, make sure you purchase the optional extra labelled as "indicators" in the brochure... :D
 
Visage If you're a Manchester United or Leeds fan, save money on expensive new kits by simply strapping a large fake penis to your forehead. It is now clear to all, as to your allegiance.
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Classic :D Take it your not a Leeds fan :P


You’re walking through a park and there are a few large dogs, if/when they come over to you don’t run! It’s a obvious one which myself have experienced the hard way :p
 
Bony Maloney said:
Remove candle wax from wood or carpets, by placing kitchen roll over the wax and then heating it up with either a hair drier or an iron. The melted wax will soak into the paper towel :D
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Just the tip I needed!!

I dropped some candle wax onto the kitchen floor a few weeks back and haven't figured out how to get it off without scraping it away. I was going to pour some boiling water on it :o

Cheers :D
 
To clean white trainers, get some cheap toothbrush and toothpaste and give them a good scrub :)
 
It's much safer to use sharp knives than blunt knives as you don't have to use as much pressure. This lowers the chance of slipping and cutting a finger off.
 
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