Share your dating tips

Bennie-Mac said:
Shove her out of the way and make my move towards the handsome fellow at the bar. I slip my room key into the back pocket of his jeans, lingering my touch so he knows the deal. "Five minutes" I whisper.

I wait in my room for him to arrive, an upon his entry, six of my friends jump him and beat him to death for being a fag, redneck style. Who needs ladies when you do what you love!
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LOVE IT!!


I knock on a car window in the local dogging spot. I say 'Dogging?' in a shady voice, the couple in the car reply 'yes come in'. so i proceed by punching my dog in the face 5 times to get him angry, open the car door and kick him in there with my right foot and slam the door closed.

after ten minutes when my white dog has now turned red with blood, i let him out the car and run like the wind remembering to steal the car keys and leave my business card on the dashboard
 
[FnG]magnolia;22685044 said:
I want to know what we're wearing.

I'm thinking earthy, very manly things. Like ... spades and shovels? Maybe a hard hat. Would boots be appropriate?

Tell me what we're wearing while we share dating tips.
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Careful now.
 
Invite your lady friend to your room. Once there handcuff her to the bed and leave the room.
10 minutes later return, dressed in a tiger outfit - complete with tail and ears. Proceed to nuzzle and lick your new lady friend.

Of course, who would be so mental as to do that...
 
fifiov said:
I go up, spend the evening talking to her, and sometimes find out she likes me too.

Then I remember I don't want any relationships just now and try to find a way to keep her close, but not too close.

Then I give up, and retire, sobbing, in to my golden bedsheets.
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Hahahaha - brilliant! I can identify with that, although not the golden bedsheets! :D
 
lucy_bee said:
Urgh, boys are disgusting :(

Disguising skidmarks is just as bad, just because you can't see them doesn't mean they're not there :p
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Undoubtedly, but if they are well camouflaged, the Saturday Night Beaver probably won't notice and will be more preoccupied with assessing which of her many bad decisions in life drove her to end up spread eagle, in a Camden bedsit above Ab Fab Kebab softly weeping into a grotty pillow.
 
Theophany said:
Undoubtedly, but if they are well camouflaged, the Saturday Night Beaver probably won't notice and will be more preoccupied with assessing which of her many bad decisions in life drove her to end up spread eagle, in a Camden bedsit above Ab Fab Kebab softly weeping into a grotty pillow.
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:D

Some lovely imagery there.

We can't all live like fluffy pink princesses in a castle made from candy :cool:
 
I've done very well by seducing women over the internet and making them fall for me way before even meeting them, so this scenario doesn't really apply to me.

Don't steal my method.
 
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