Silly injuries ?

10 weeks ago today, was playing basketball, messing around, tried to be a smartarse and do a stepover and kick it through my feet while over the ball, sadly didn't go to plan, landed on the ball with my right foot, ball shot out to the left, my ankle turned in to a / angle, landed flat on concrete on my side and on the ankle, 10 weeks later and the bloody thing is still swelling up every night while I'm on the NHS waiting list for another 10 days! :( Probably done too much damage by living on it since then!
 
Was waiting in the passenger seat of an old car for my sister to leave school. Hot day so the window is down. Had my left arm/hand grabbing the B pillar between the front and back doors.

Sister gets in and shuts the door. Just a great shame my thumb was in there :eek:


Also whilst my dad was laid up in bed feeling unwell I was sitting talking to him. Telling him a story with over the top exaggeration of my incredible feats for the day when I moved too far.

A light clipped onto the headboard burnt into my arm and caused a rather awful smell and me to suddenly scream and sprint for the shower :D
 
All my injuries are stupid. A few years ago I cracked my head open on the corner of the radiator in my room when my brother decided to trip me as I was walking across the room. I've also broken my arm slipping on very wet grass in my back garden when I was a young kid, and displaced 2 vertebrae in my upper spine/lower neck when I walked into a door when someone distracted me.

Despite playing football for 15 years, playing tennis on a regular basis, and jogging a lot, the only injury I seem to have suffered from sport in all that time is a slight click in my left knee.
 
DavieCramb01 said:
Im surprised you don't have some comical injury's with all your tom foolery lol
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Well ok I tore my banjo string when I was about 18, much to the horror of my girlfriend at the time what with all the blood and all that, but I can practically pull my fiveskin round my balls now, which is a result in my opinion :)

I'll probably get a ban for saying that so see you in 48 hrs :( ;) :D
 
ElliorR said:
Several years back I bought some ultra sharp knives from one of these shopping channels, they're still razor sharp, and one day I was cutting a bread roll in half slicing through the roll towards my hand. This was rather sill as for some rason i didn't stop and the bread roll was a little red on one side.
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My wife did that a few years ago, she needed 12 stitches in her hand :(

My stupidest one was throwing rocks against a concrete breakwater to watch them shatter. One shattered, and a bit clipped me across the forehead. Que about a half pint of blood down my face. God did it bleed!

Jonny69 said:
Well ok I tore my banjo string when I was about 18
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Did that too - I was about the same age :( Carried on til the end though, and only realised once I'd finished!
 
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Quite a few years ago now I managed to strain a muscle doing some overly enthusiastic dancing to The Proclaimers "500 Miles" :o
 
Being retarded, I managed to hit my own right thumb and index finger with a hammer whilst trying to put in a nail in the kitchen wall on which to hang a picture today. Net result is that I've split the side of my thumb open, and I have blood building up under the nail on my index finger, which feels like it's being pinched with a set of pliers. Currently contemplating poking a hole in said nail with a pin to see if it relieves the pressure. Fabulous. :mad:

And, to add insult to injury, I really don't like the picture either. :(
 
As a kid, I once hit the front brake by accident on my BMX and ended up with a face looking like a raw beef burger. :)
 
About 2 weeks ago I rode straight into 7 15 yr old girls on my mountain bike.

Was like skittles.
 
I once threw a shopping trolley at my own leg. It really hurt, and I still have the (small) scar.

I was also hit in the face with a putter by my GF when playing crazy golf. I still don't know to this day why the hell she had to backswing enough to hit me in the eye (almost 6 feet up). Blood was pouring from underneath my eye, and some utter retards on the course thought it was funny. I thought I was blind, though luckily not! She's now my wife, and the violence has fortunately subsided.

The most painful I can remember was riding a shoddily assembled BMX down the road at the back of my mums house, when I was about 10. The handlebar stem didn't fit the forks properly, and as such, the front wheel went parallel to the bars and over I went at about 20mph - face, then chest, then stomach, then legs scraped along the asphalt, all liberally grazed. I sprung several ribs and severely winded myself. Some silly old cow who saw it happen told me 'it serves you right'.

Also, I once hospitalised myself for 3 days after a hold-your-breath competition at school when I was 8, which resulted in my passing out and slamming my head onto a cast iron drain cover. I was concussed and vomiting like it was going out of fashion for 24 hours. The worst part was when a nurse gave me an anal suppository to stop me puking up. :(
 
When i was about 14, first year of Secondary School a mate and i decided to show off (as you do) and shows the girls how strong we really were by playing tug-of-war (with a broom *dont ask*), Needless to say he managed to let go of his end only for it to swing around, smack me in the mouth and break my front teeth :-D *winner*

Broom = 1
Me = 0
 
Ice Skating

I'm crap at it.

Fell on my arse (just as I said 'I'm getting the hang of this no-less') go back to my feet and started 'skating' again, a few minutes passed of me looking like a complete tool, but enjoying it none the less.

Wandered off the ice, looked down to see my boots covered in blood, pulled my jeans up to find a 2" gash down the side of my shin bone on my left leg. From the state of my jeans it had gone in pretty far.

Went into the first aid room, got patched up.

Dad couldn't be bothered going to casualty so gave me some whiskey and paracetamol (just what you need after blood loss, I know!) and I fell asleep on the sofa.

Got a bald patch on my shin now :(
 
My dumbest self inflicted injury... again, when in Secondary School - got a little bored in woodwork and decided to make myself a mini cricket bat using a bandsaw. (typical good idea/bad idea)
Good idea - keep me entertained for hours
Bad idea - Bandsaws dont cut curves.

Yep my hand slipped and I managed to cut into 3 quarters of my middle finger. Thankfully Doctors managed to save my finger :)

Life's little lesson : Anything that makes your mother cry is fun.
 
I'm laying on my 3yo son's bed about to read him a story, he decides it will be fun to jump on the bed. I tell him off as he is not supposed to jump on the bed, warning him that it is dangerous and that he will either break the bed* or someone will get hurt. So he decides "1 for luck" and takes the biggest jump he can and does a seat drop, bounces on the bed on his bum, goes flying through the air and lands head first on my mouth. Que my face exploding blood everywhere.

Now nature is a cruel beast. Because whilst I am in a fair amount of pain, and very aware I am producing enough blood from my mouth to fill a pint glass, which is soon to land on the floor (which will result in me being beaten to death by Miss K and my mum (as we were at my parents house at the time) and I'm not sure if my teeth are intact.
I am still however more concerned that my son is not hurt... He is at this point very upset as he thinks he has just killed me, having never seen as much blood before in his life.

I shout to Miss K as best I can to not upset my son any more, but to make it clear I need a little help. She ignores me. So I shout/spit blood a bit louder with a little more urgency... again ignored. So "FFS I'm bleeding everywhere can you check the little one is ok?!!". She comes out of our room and tells me I'm a mess and to not bleed on the floor.

I leg it off to the kitchen (leaving a trail of blood behind me), spit out a mouth full of blood, check my teeth are intact and pour a glass of water rinsed out my mouth and kept my lip submerged until it stopped bleeding, then applied Ice for the rest of the evening.


Basically the long and the short of it is I bit into my lower lip almost all the way through.
My son (3 mind you) bless him had to embellish the story to his mates at tumble tots and told them he put me in hospital.



*ok not yet but in 10 years time he will so start laying the ground rules now
 
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DunK1 said:
How would you not notice the blood?
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I don't tend to whip the old chap out halfway through the business :confused:

It didn't really hurt much, more like it was a bit sore, so I didn't think much of it if I'm honest until afterwards.
 
I had some really stupid injuries as a kid. My grans garden was terraced in three parts, with a washing line on the bottom level that stopped at the square concrete steps to the middle level. At that point the distance between ground and washing line was just enough for a 6 year old to grab, and perhaps use it as a swing ;). The first time I fell, I cut my face on the corner of a step and had to go to A&E. The second time I sprained my ankle. I think my gran was very relieved when I got too tall to swing any more.

I was a figure skater as a kid and hated missing club sessions, so asked to go the day we returned from Florida when I was 11. I realised I was far too tired to skate after attempting a jump and landing on my head, while my right toe pick scored a 2" line across my left arm :(.
 
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