Based on that, no mark or pain - what is the point in smacking? In fact - what is the point in smacking? What does it achieve that words cannot?
I don't get it.
Slapping Your Children
- Thread starter Kosmiche
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I don't get it.
According to all the research - all smacking is detrimental.
It's just a matter of degree how detrimental it is, the relationship appears to be linear. Smacking once or twice during their childhood isn't likely to be that harmful (But it still carries a higher risk than one who is never smacked) - but increase that to once a month then the risk increases significantly.
I'd also wager that not many people here are going to public admit they smack weekly or daily.
Obviously you are correct, there is a huge difference between the occasional smack & full on child abuse - but if both are harmful, potentially damaging & not needed why take the risk?.
Apart from it does leave a mark, it does hurt and is doesn't provide clarity....
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Man of Honour
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Oh dear dear dear.
Can't tell the difference between a little smack and child abuse.
It helps release the parents anger / frustration !
Pathetic, adults that put their hands on children in anger are a disgrace and should take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror
Looks like he can to me, you however don't seem to be able to tell the difference between anecdotal evidence and scientific empirical evidence, peer-reviewed scientific research and studies!!
I'm still waiting for the flood of links for credible research papers, stats and evidence for the argument that smacking children at the very least has no negative impact let alone a positive one!!!
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Why is that so hard to believe?
Hitting your child in any manner be it light or hard is physical abuse. If i walked up to you in the street and slapped your partners arse, she could get me done for abuse.
But it didn't leave a mark, it didn't hurt, so what's the problem?
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The definition of child abuse is very broad.
The difference is the term 'child abuse' is popular media & western culture tends to be reserved for the most severe cases of child abuse. Emotional neglect for example qualifies as child abuse based on the definition but most people don't consider it to be (because of the association between the term & the extreme kind).
Right kids, this is the line:
______________________
Cross this line, do you understand what will happen. Yes
If they cross the line, that is their stupidity.
Kids have it easy nowadays, the use of Slippers/belts is not as common as once was
Some people seem to think that such punishment is used INSTEAD of reasoning and educating. It is used as a tool alongside.
All Children are different, some you can talk to with no need for punishment, others, you simply need to punish in some way, be that a smack, withdrawing things they like etc. For a child going off the rails, if a smack helps them, would you not do it?
______________________
Cross this line, do you understand what will happen. Yes
If they cross the line, that is their stupidity.
Kids have it easy nowadays, the use of Slippers/belts is not as common as once was
Some people seem to think that such punishment is used INSTEAD of reasoning and educating. It is used as a tool alongside.
All Children are different, some you can talk to with no need for punishment, others, you simply need to punish in some way, be that a smack, withdrawing things they like etc. For a child going off the rails, if a smack helps them, would you not do it?
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Soldato
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I am a firm believer that if your child really misbehaves, you have to look no further than your own parenting.
Parents can really dig themselves into a rut by basically being crap parents from day one and letting their child run riot. Children learn from a very early age what they can and cannot get away with and they will take what they can get.
I am very calm with my child and so is my partner. He is as good as gold 99% of the time, unless he is tired or hungry or bored.
I always keep some easy to eat fruit for him, like grapes, blackberries or olives and it works all the time. If he is bored I just get out one of his books which he can learn from. I use one book at the moment with pictures of lots of different types of vehicles and I teach him what they are called. I only started on this book about a month ago and he already knows 26 different types of vehicle and he is only 18 months old.
If I know he is likely going to be tired, I just will not take him into a situation where I cannot put him down if he does.
Your associating the word abuse with the worst cases. A child locked in a basement beaten with a stick is child abuse.
But a child who stays in their room through fear and is beaten with a stick as discipline isn't abused.
But hey its fine, you keep hitting your child in the name of discipline. Just be sure never to hit a teenager, adult, elderly person or animal otherwise you'll be arrested for abuse.
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Soldato
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Quoted for truth.
Because in a large percentage of cases/situations it has nothing to do with disciplining the child and EVERYTHING to do with the (so called) adult losing control and striking out in anger/frustration!!
Source?
My Dad was one of the friendliest people I have ever known and yes, I got a few smacks if I deserved them. Was he ever out of control, NO. Did I deserve what I got, YES.
He never did it out of frustration, it was to make sure I did not grow into a ****.
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Man of Honour
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Do you actually read what you write?
The second one being beaten with a stick is still child abuse.
A light smack on the back of the leg isn't.
Oh you are a silly billy.
And please don't accuse me of KEEP HITTING MY CHILD.
One of them had about 5 light smacks about 23 years ago because she'd be dead otherwise.
This is probably not a good example
But I sometimes watch these 'bad children' programs and just cannot understand how these parents allow these children to get to the state they are
It often seems like the parents are physically abusive or exceptionally weak
People have said I would make a good parent because I am relaxed and rational. I argue I wouldn't as I don't like having to do things. My partner is different in that she would just loose her temper. But at least we both know we wouldn't make good parents.
It's too easy to have kids - and one of the most responsible job in the world
Ahh the good old "Smacking teaches them respect!" argument. Again, disproved by the studies. But you carry on thinking this.
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Man of Honour
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I personally think that when I become a parent, I would not rule out smacking as part of a toolbox of options for discipline. I would expect it to be for extreme circumstances and used only perhaps a handful of times in a lifetime but I personally believe that context is the most important thing.
I would consider smacking something that doesn't cause anything more than very transitory stinging but does reinforce a point that has been made repeatedly verbally and ignored. I think that if it's used anything more than very rarely it loses the shock factor which is why I believe it is an important tool. I think that any risk of this causing a detrimental effect would be offset by other parenting techniques. Smacking should always be considered and controlled. It's not something I would consider off the cuff.
I would consider smacking something that doesn't cause anything more than very transitory stinging but does reinforce a point that has been made repeatedly verbally and ignored. I think that if it's used anything more than very rarely it loses the shock factor which is why I believe it is an important tool. I think that any risk of this causing a detrimental effect would be offset by other parenting techniques. Smacking should always be considered and controlled. It's not something I would consider off the cuff.
If you exert your limb in a manner to do harm to a child, that is child abuse. You can sugar coat it and dress it up it what ever way you want. If you smack your child, you are abusing your child.
To teach you not to die, I'm going to teach you by smacking you. Please tell me you can see the complete flaw in this. I mean honestly.
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Well considering we can't read peoples minds it's a bit of a tricky one to conclusively scientifically prove, however you are utterly deluded if you think parents that smack children have never been angry and momentarily out of control when applying CP!
Man of Honour
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In your opinion.