Son got first job, fair rate for board

Goberpiles316 · 13 Sep 2014 at 17:57

Jez said:
I do not see the point in charging children rent, i have a young son and i certainly wont ever be, our family home is his "base".

Everything i own ultimately goes to him anyway, why would i charge him a pointless token sum of money to live under the roof which i maintain anyway? I chose to bring him into the world, i will therefore provide everything he needs including a home.

Thats the way i see it anyway

The thing is that's fine at an early age but when your young son is still living with you at 30,40,50 years old and your still paying for everything..........feeding older kids is a lot more expensive then feeding younger kids, my 11 and 8 year olds eat a lot more then they did at 4/5, that pack of three chicken breasts don't go far any more.

Sudden · 13 Sep 2014 at 17:58

dowie said:
but taking without contributing isn't sharing... its just taking - if you share everything then you'd be helping with bills too when able to

well that is contributing... not a direct financial contribution but if you provide the food shopping regularly enough then you're also contributing which is kind of the point I'm making...

Yes, but if it got to a point where they were living with me, even if they had income coming in, I wouldn't expect them to be contributing to anything.

My point is that it doesn't matter - you pay, you're parents pay, it shouldn't make any difference since you're one family unit.

Jez · 13 Sep 2014 at 17:59

Goberpiles316 said:
The thing is that's fine at an early age but when your young son is still living with you at 30,40,50 years old and your still paying for everything..........feeding older kids is a lot more expensive then feeding younger kids, my 11 and 8 year olds eat a lot more then they did at 4/5, that pack of three chicken breasts don't go far any more.

I do not expect him to want to return to live at home after he leaves for university. I certainly didnt want to be with my parents past that age, once i had been through uni that is

That said my siblings and I have always been welcome to drop in to the family home, obviously, on a fairly regular basis too.

Goberpiles316 · 13 Sep 2014 at 18:04

Jez said:
I do not expect him to want to return to live at home after he leaves for university. I certainly didnt want to be with my parents past that age, once i had been through uni that is

You may not of done but now is a lot different to what we did as young adults.

My first job in 1996 paid about 12k a year and my flat cost 36k, wages for first jobs now are what 14-17k and a one bedroom flat is over 120k where I got mine for 36k. Going on how house prices have gone up the starting wage for a basic job should be 28-40k a year, but it isn't, I work in local government in my office out of 20 people I think 6 earn over 20k the rest 18k.

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/famil...iving-with-parents/2013/sty-young-adults.html

Jez · 13 Sep 2014 at 18:28

Yes i can appreciate that those on low salaries must struggle these days

Macro · 13 Sep 2014 at 18:43

Sudden said:
I consider the family funds as one pot. Whoever wants, dips into them, regardless of where they are located or what it was for. I don't expect to contribute 'just because I can',

--------------

My point is that it doesn't matter - you pay, you're parents pay, it shouldn't make any difference since you're one family unit.

Except you don't expect to pay unless made to. How can it be a family pot of money if you're not contributing to it? It's just your mum and dad paying for everything for you whilst you spend anything you earn on yourself. :confused:

Sudden · 13 Sep 2014 at 18:49

Macro said:
Except you don't expect to pay unless made to. How can it be a family pot of money if you're not contributing to it? It's just your mum and dad paying for everything for you whilst you spend anything you earn on yourself.

Because if there's anything at all that they would need, i'd pay for it...?

spoffle · 13 Sep 2014 at 18:50

Gixer said:
I don't know if that has been said but if you don't need the money from him why don't you do him a favour and put what you take into a savings account for him to use as a house deposit.

This is the most sensible and fair way of doing it. Don't tell him that you're saving it though.

xs2man · 13 Sep 2014 at 18:52

Wow. This thread...

No wonder the country has sooooo many young people who expect everything to be given to them, when there are so many parents giving them everything.

Not my kids. As soon as they are making coin, they can pay up or get out.

As I said earlier though, I wouldn't be charging them a fortune, and I'd be saving it for them, albeit on the sly, but that would be the conditions of staying with me. And no bringing boys back. That's another one. No boys.

Nix · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:16

xs2man said:
Wow. This thread...

No wonder the country has sooooo many young people who expect everything to be given to them, when there are so many parents giving them everything.

Not my kids. As soon as they are making coin, they can pay up or get out.

As I said earlier though, I wouldn't be charging them a fortune, and I'd be saving it for them, albeit on the sly, but that would be the conditions of staying with me. And no bringing boys back. That's another one. No boys.

RAWR LIFE IS HARD RAWR

Monkeynut · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:18

xs2man said:
Wow. This thread...

No wonder the country has sooooo many young people who expect everything to be given to them, when there are so many parents giving them everything.

Not my kids. As soon as they are making coin, they can pay up or get out.

As I said earlier though, I wouldn't be charging them a fortune, and I'd be saving it for them, albeit on the sly, but that would be the conditions of staying with me. And no bringing boys back. That's another one. No boys.

1950's man.

Eurofighter · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:24

Kick him out. Better for everyone.

Rroff · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:34

Eurofighter said:
Kick him out. Better for everyone.

Quite a few of my school friends were kicked out by their parent(s) at the first possible moment they legally could (quite a few had separated parents and lived with one or the other) have to wonder if they resented the impact of having a child had on their life that much? for most of them it seems to have ruined the relationship with their parent(s) and they seem to struggle with relationships even though it has forced them to make their own way in the world which some might view as a positive.

Eurofighter · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:39

Rroff said:
Quite a few of my school friends were kicked out by their parent(s) at the first possible moment they legally could (quite a few had separated parents and lived with one or the other) have to wonder if they resented the impact of having a child had on their life that much? for most of them it seems to have ruined the relationship with their parent(s) and they seem to struggle with relationships even though it has forced them to make their own way in the world which some might view as a positive.

The OP's son has a job. He isnn't going to end up homeless and will thank his parents for doing the right thing not long after. He should have his own house and be looking after himself. It's much better for your social life. No one I know wants to move back in with their parents after living without them.

Rroff · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:45

Eurofighter said:
The OP's son has a job. He isnn't going to end up homeless and will thank his parents for doing the right thing not long after. He should have his own house and be looking after himself. It's much better for your social life. No one I know wants to move back in with their parents after living without them.

I moved back in with my parents a few years back (for various reasons) and yeah its not ideal but on that front I've basically got the choice of - living someone not that great but having a decent amount of disposable income, living somewhere relatively nice but pretty much working to live and having limited disposable income or moving back to my parents, being able to save up to live somewhere fairly nice and also having a fair amount of disposable income at the same time.

Game would change a bit if I wasn't single but never really found anyone I'd settle down long term with, most of my relationships tend to struggle to last 6 months :S

spoffle · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:47

Eurofighter said:
The OP's son has a job. He isnn't going to end up homeless and will thank his parents for doing the right thing not long after. He should have his own house and be looking after himself. It's much better for your social life. No one I know wants to move back in with their parents after living without them.

Yeah, no. Delusional.

eatcustard · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:48

I never paid any money to may parents, the made me save some towards a deposit on a house.

I will do the same with my two.

Rroff · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:52

spoffle said:
Yeah, no. Delusional.

I would say idealistic rather than delusional, unfortunately as things stand at the moment its easier said than done though I don't disagree that ideally once your done with education, etc. you should be looking to move out, get your own place and so on.

LeeUK · 13 Sep 2014 at 19:54

I was paying £20 a week 10 years ago. How I wish I was still commitment free

spoffle · 13 Sep 2014 at 20:10

Rroff said:
I would say idealistic rather than delusional, unfortunately as things stand at the moment its easier said than done though I don't disagree that ideally once your done with education, etc. you should be looking to move out, get your own place and so on.

It's not idealistic though, because it's effectively saying once a child hits a certain point in their life, you're done as a parent and you kick them out.