Suicide outside my office

Freefaller said:
Thank you for posting that - maybe some of the "selfish" bleaters will maybe think twice.
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Bleaters? Give over.

It's all a spectrum. Obviously in that sort of case it's not very selfish at all, as it's not like you're really leaving anyone behind, are you? Everyone has abandoned you already.

But there are cases when suicide is very selfish, when you are still needed and wanted, and it is unfair to abandon, say, a family and friends.
 
Of course there are cases where people choose maybe an option which seems easier to them, but as much as people may think it's a sign of cowardice or weakness it's still an awful thing to even contemplate let alone go through. I feel sorry for those people who whilst they were still alive felt they had nothing else to live for - sure maybe with some help they'd have been cured or at least helped them away from taking their lives, but I don't think a lot of people understand the torment that these people go through.

Of course a conviceted murderer or serious threat to society it may be an easier answer than spending 20 years in jail... but to the average joe living their lives in an honest way, it's a very big/serious problem. People seem to belittle this problem and think it's all very convenient... well it's not.

I admit there are some people where suicide is a selfish way out from a cold hearted aftermath point of view, but the fact remains that that person has probably thought of what he/she is leaving behind and in spite of that can't face whatever is it their facing and can't seem to get any help.

Conversely many people have been spared by help, and having had people be patient with them and try and understand them before writing them off immediately. It's such a shame people can't see the signs earlier or quicker.
 
platinum87 said:
people suffering from depression is their problem, everyone has to deal with problems, some more powerful than others, if they suicide, i wont call them cowardly, i strongly believe in that the more pressure and stress thrust upon someone only gives them the chance to push through it,
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If only it were so simple. Looking at it purely objectively like you have, then that's a decent way of looking at it.

But we're talking clinical depression here. It's not being unhappy, it's not having a "bad day", it's complete and utter despair, anxiety, hopelessness and it's anything but logical.

It's an illness. It makes you not yourself, and it makes you do things that the healthy you would not even begin to contemplate.

Obviously you do retain self-control in the strictest sense of the word, but if you can't think straight then do you really have self-control?



Dj_Jestar - I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. That's such an absolutely tragic set of events.:(
 
Whoever the Samaritan was that dealt with that situation should be removed from duty. In three years of volunteering I've never known anyone turn away a caller for the reasons stated - it's shameful.

Just wanted to highlight that it's a valuable service who anyone can turn to - included those accused of such crimes. I'd be very surprised if they 'turned their backs' on anyone in that position. I know I haven't.

Just in case there is a minute chance someone on here is thinking of using them, I just wanted to set that straight.

Not saying it's impossible of course, just not what the service is there to do..
 
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Dj_Jestar said:
For those claiming suicide is selfish, how about this scenario:

You are accussed of molesting a (and accused by the same) 13 year old girl at the age of 32, whom is also your sister in law.
Your wife takes your 4 month old daughter and leaves you, and refuses to speak to you.
The news "leaks out" and lynch mobs torment you, assault you, spit on you, cover your house in graffitti, vandalise your property, despite your protests of your innocence.
You are told you'll be serving a 15 year jail sentence, as the 13 year old's word is guaranteed to be taken over your's.
You are receiving bricks through your windows, multiple times a day, most with death threats attached.
You are sacked from a job you love.
Your friends disown you.
Your own mother is forced to ask you if you did or did not molest the 13 year old, because even she is having doubts due to all of the above.
Your name is brandished with the words "Paedophile" and "Child Molestor" in the press.
All of the above happens before you have even appeared in court.
You are absolutely destitute and have literally no one, and no where to turn to.
Hell even the samaritans turn their nose up at you.

So there you are, facing a potential life of torment, your family and friends have all but abandoned you. You can't move anywhere, no one believes you, it's impossible to "prove" your innocence and you'll probably be killed in a very painful way when in jail by other inmates.

You decide enough is enough, this pain is not going to end and it seems no one is even caring. You write two letters, one to your family, and one to your daughter for when she is old enough to understand.

You take a rope, and walk 16 miles into woodland. You would have driven, but your pickup truck was vandalised beyond repair. Along the way, you post your letters, praying that they will not be scrapped because you wrote them. At some point, you decide that to be sure your final message reaches your family, you type out many SMS messages on your phone, probably whilst walking the 16 miles, but decide not to send them - just save them.

You find a sturdy tree, tie a noose, climb the tree, tie the rope to a branch higher than that of the distance from rope end + your height to the ground. Place noose around neck and you jump.

Your lawyer is concerned after a few days of no contact.
A search party takes place and they find you after 2 days of searching.
Letters are received by family the day after you are found, and the SMS messages copied and delivered by the police on this day, too (cleared by forensics or whoever.) Not a single word of mailce or anger is in the messages. Nothing but a lengthy apology for taking your own life, with a few personal messages for your daughter. You explained you could not see how you would ever be happy again, how you have been brandished a paedophile and that it would always stick, even if by the non existant miracle you proved innocent.

Is that still selfish? To face a gruesome jail term, lynch mobbings for potentially the rest of your life, if you were to even survive the jail term? Your own family doubting you, some even refusing to acknowledge your existence? You can't even turn to the samaritans without being reminded just how low they look upon you. You can't get employed, you have no friends left, and can't make any new ones. You are likely to never see your daughter again, in fact the last time you saw or spoke to your wife and daughter was the morning you left for work, to come home to find they had gone. Etc. etc.

Is it actually selfish?



Oh, and for what little worth it has, the 13 year old confessed she lied all along, 5 months after my cousin hung himself.
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Thank you for sharing this.

I really don't think anything more needs to be said.
 
i cant see how it can ever not be at least a slight bit selfish.

unless absolutley no one at all cares about you then it is easing your own pain but creating pain for others. IMO that is selfish.
 
markyp23 said:
Where were his cousins at this point? Pointing the finger?
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Actually most of us were blissfully unaware until he had hung himself. I knew nothing of the problems until my mother woke me one morning with the bad news. My cousin was living in Australia with his wife and daughter at the time, and my family aren't exactly close to start with.
 
For some people, who haven't been cursed with the irrelevence of religion or blessed with the irreverence of finding love and happiness, suicide is a way of escaping 40 years of loneliness and tedium.

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