"The Crazy"

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Wicksta said:
No project is that important that it means you can't answer your phone all day.
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Depends. Several projects I've worked on the computer is inside a huge faraday cage and you can't answer. Others don't allow mobiles, especially with cameras, and you need to check them in when you enter the building.
 
Hey Sara, just do what you think is right for you. Either way forging new relationships can be nailbiting (not that I know that much about it) but I seem to remember it being like that when I were young *once*. :D

Remember give em enough rope, then if they dont come back all you have lost is er.. some rope.
 
He was able to send that message at 2.30pmish. And delivery reports have been getting through, so there goes those excuses.

I can still envisage a nasty project crunch scenario as I've seen them happen and been in the middle of really nasty circumstances at work - but he's certainly going to have to make it up to me if he's bothered still. I can understand stashing the phone somewhere away from the meeting room in order to crack on - however he can't have not gone for a wee for such a long time - perfect opportunity to get a message through.

Nevermind. All I can do now is see what happens... At least it's my birthday on Friday and I'm having a big party Saturday so all is not lost! :D
 
Gilly said:
Chill, he's busy.

At the end of it all if it doesn't work out he's only one fish in the sea. So you like him, so what? There'll be others you like too.
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I think thats nail and head tbh. He's having a crap time of it and he's a bit overwhelmed so I imagine some girl who he's never met is probably the least of his worries at the moment.
 
how do you know they are excuses? seems like in a week practically everything has fallen about him.

give him a chance, as its a first date if you annoy him you will be the most likely thing to drop at this moment in time if work is pressuring him and his family is having problems. wait a day or two and let things at work cool off.
 
Sure sounds like he is a player to me. You are the sensible, logical, rules type person. Drop him like a dead donkey and stay single IMHO. Also, TTIUWP!
 
sara said:
He's got the benefit of the doubt for now. But I expect mucho apologies. He's going to get a disappointed and slightly narked text, will see how he reacts to that.
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What?? Why the hell would he have to apologies to you?? Sorry but that would put me right off, put yourselve in his shoes for a sec.

He's (by your admission) had a really bad week. Tough, stressful and draining. And to top of all off he gets text from you that's needy and stressful as well. When at this point he's probably looking to you for sympathy and understanding.

If that happened to me then it would with THAT text that i would be having second thoughts. It would just seem to him that you would add to his problems when the going gets hard and not helping.
 
Listen, as soon as I find out what's going on and know what the problem is, then maybe it's time to sympathise. Not getting even just a "Sorry can't make it" just feels a bit rude and I've never actually been stood up or been left hanging waiting for the telephone like that before. Really humiliating.

As I said, he has the benefit of the doubt, because I do like him and actually trust him not to lie. But this is the third time now we've tried to meet, and really it's getting a little bit hard to remain understanding without feeling annoyed when he's optimistic until the last and then finds out it's impossible for one reason or another. Just this time he wasn't even able to let me know it was off.

My mind is swinging from very sympathetic to very annoyed. My last text wasn't angry or needy, just disappointed. He is a nice guy and it would be a shame if a massive spate of bad luck all in one go ruins what could be an interesting time for both of us.

However, I don't wish to be mucked around. If I just bend over backwards and say that it's fine that I felt humiliated and forgotten, then I wouldn't be showing much strength of character. I have a right to be hacked-off, just as he has a right to explain himself.

I'm sure we'll come to some kind of understanding...
 
sara said:
However, I don't wish to be mucked around. If I just bend over backwards and say that it's fine that I felt humiliated and forgotten, then I wouldn't be showing much strength of character. I have a right to be hacked-off, just as he has a right to explain himself.
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Not asking you bend over backwards and say that it's fine, just give him a bit of space that he obvouisly needs to sort he's life out, it happens to the best of us at times. Being cool about it will be what shows your strength of character to him and that he will repect you more for it (well it would to me as i went through through a similer situation a while back). As long as he talks to about it all afterwards then that's fine, but don't be on his case in the middle of it all.

I'm just trying to give you a guys opinion on how he would react.
 
Interestingly enough, we had an email from one of the other college boat clubs asking for some men to have an evening out with the women from St. Edmunds, because the normal college boat club is full of men that are too 'young' and 'inexperienced'.

On topic: The fact that he goes awol every time you are about to meet is a bit suspicious. Maybe he doesn't want his wife finding out..
 
It is all starting to sound a bit sus, I realise. I'm a pretty good judge of character though and the nature of conversations we've had and the 'excuses' so far have led me to be fairly trusting.

Which is one reason why I feel so hard-done-by.

And don't get the wrong impression, I haven't been hard on him. After I got the harried mid-meeting text yesterday (which said he'd ring as soon as he could), I told him not to stress or rush on my behalf, and that I'd talk to him/see him later.

I then rang once an hour or so before he was due to be in Bristol (he'd have been driving from at least an hour away), to see how he was getting on - no answer.

I then texted a couple of hours after he was due to be here, with the disappointed message.

This thread may be called "The Crazy" but it doesn't mean I'm a she-beast.
 
sara said:
Nothing. Zip. Nada. Not a sausage.
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i bet you're raging atm yep? I think you're emotionally invested but i dont think he is yet.

because of this

So, we've not met in the flesh yet, but have had some really long phone calls etc
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Ive been in the same situation as have friends of mine. You need to have a balance. Do the phonecalls go on for like 3 hrs + ? Bet they feel great too ehh.. like you're really connecting.

off to work but i'll reply more when i get their if thats ok. (got tons to say on this lol)
 
If the guy hasn't the common decency to let you know that he can't make it, then, in my opinion, he isn't worth bothering with. What else is he not going to be bothered with in future?

Nothing annoys me more than standing someone up with no explanation. In this digital age where text messages are practically free, there is simply no excuse. Get rid.
 
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