The Happy thread - Positive posts only :-)

I won an exercise bike in a online raffle type thing a few weeks back and I've just got it set up ready for some team thing at work (big team challenge active well being or something).
Only time in my life I ever lost weight was when I had an exercise bike and was doing it consistently. But then I panicked because I thought oh my god, what if it's not the exercise and I might actually be losing weight because I'm ill. So I stopped for a month and put all the weight back on. But at least I knew it was the exercise! I'd like to get back to 13st and in to my smart trousers. Currently 15.5.
 
As someone who struggles with negativity, can I ask how you guys manage to focus on the positive? Does it come naturally, is it something you have to work at consciously? Has anyone here changed from a negative mindset to a more positive one?

My positive to add to the thread is that my son went into school this morning more cheery than he has in a while, he's been struggling with anxiety etc but today he was more upbeat. :)
 
Our swimming pool pump shed: I'm going to overheat and stop circulating the delicious chlorine your pool needs to keep it tip-top!

Me: Oh. That isn't good.

Our swimming pool pump shed: *smug*

Me: I guess I'll BUY A JIGSAW AND SOME VENTS FROM BUNNINGS AND FIX THAT ISSUE, SHALL I?

Our swimming pool pump shed: For ages three and up?

Me: What?

Our swimming pool pump shed: It is a joke about how the word can be both a puzzle type activity but also a sawing instrum -

Me: Hey, good one!

Our swimming pool pump shed: Well, thanks.

Me: I still have to fix that airflow.

Our swimming pool pump shed: That's okay. You use a proper blade, ok?

Me: *nods*
 
Member of staff on night shift at Holland Park/London station writes these uplifting quotes to help lift our hearts :)

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valve90210 said:
As someone who struggles with negativity, can I ask how you guys manage to focus on the positive? Does it come naturally, is it something you have to work at consciously? Has anyone here changed from a negative mindset to a more positive one?
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There are few ways to cut out the negatives but i would say initially you do have to consciously work on them till being more positive comes 'naturally'. Depending on what elements are getting you down I would recommend watching a few of the videos on here https://www.youtube.com/@BetterThanYesterday and see which ones apply to you. I'd suggest going through the Health playlist first it deals with potentially just being stuck in a rut or redressing your focus on things that you enjoy and will in turn make you happier / more positive. A number of his videos cite a variety of 'self-help' books but whenever i watch a video like this or read one of the books (I'd also recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear) it does make complete sense and it's straightforward things to do to make things better. The secret really is small improvements every day rather than trying to sort everything out in one day which can lead to becoming overwhelmed and you'll essentially take a step back rather than forward.
 
valve90210 said:
As someone who struggles with negativity, can I ask how you guys manage to focus on the positive? Does it come naturally, is it something you have to work at consciously? Has anyone here changed from a negative mindset to a more positive one?
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As a naturally miserable bugger, I'd say it's looking at the small things- they do stack up.

Being thankful for the small things often taken for granted (like unlimited safe drinking water, which is a little miracle every time I run the tap) puts everything else into perspective.

Only the mad are happy all the time- contentness is underrated.
 
Thank you for the replies, they're really helpful.

Derek W said:
There are few ways to cut out the negatives but i would say initially you do have to consciously work on them till being more positive comes 'naturally'. Depending on what elements are getting you down I would recommend watching a few of the videos on here https://www.youtube.com/@BetterThanYesterday and see which ones apply to you. I'd suggest going through the Health playlist first it deals with potentially just being stuck in a rut or redressing your focus on things that you enjoy and will in turn make you happier / more positive. A number of his videos cite a variety of 'self-help' books but whenever i watch a video like this or read one of the books (I'd also recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear) it does make complete sense and it's straightforward things to do to make things better. The secret really is small improvements every day rather than trying to sort everything out in one day which can lead to becoming overwhelmed and you'll essentially take a step back rather than forward.
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Thank you, that's really helpful, I've just had a quick look at that YouTube channel, it looks like there's a lot of stuff in there that might well help me out. I've been trying to take small steps to being more positive but I definitely find it a struggle; I think I'll need to actively engage myself in positivity to gradually grow more positive. And I think some of the videos on there will definitely help with that. I just checked out the 20s rule video and can see how that could help me to start doing more of the things which nourish my life and make me feel more positive!


potatolord said:
As a naturally miserable bugger, I'd say it's looking at the small things- they do stack up.

Being thankful for the small things often taken for granted (like unlimited safe drinking water, which is a little miracle every time I run the tap) puts everything else into perspective.

Only the mad are happy all the time- contentness is underrated.
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It's in this vein that I have started writing a gratitude list each day, picking up on as many little, positive things as I can each day as a reminder that they are out there even if I don't notice them automatically at the moment. :)

If anyone else has any other thoughts I'd love to hear them.


My positive for today is that I am going out to dinner with the people I was on a two year counselling course with which ended in June last year, it'll be a nice chance to catch up with them and rekindle some of the bonds that we made on the course which have been neglected due to the busy nature of life. :)
 
valve90210 said:
It's in this vein that I have started writing a gratitude list each day, picking up on as many little, positive things as I can each day as a reminder that they are out there even if I don't notice them automatically at the moment. :)

If anyone else has any other thoughts I'd love to hear them.


My positive for today is that I am going out to dinner with the people I was on a two year counselling course with which ended in June last year, it'll be a nice chance to catch up with them and rekindle some of the bonds that we made on the course which have been neglected due to the busy nature of life. :)
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I keep a diary, listing both the good and bad. It's not a gratitude list, but similar.

Looking back, it's surprising how many good things happen which I didn't really appreciate at the time.

I've just had a look and here's an example:
"I got the train to Pontypridd to pick up my parcel, then when I got there they told me they’d used the wrong “sorry you’re out card” and it was in Ystrad office. I was furious and had a good shout. I got the train back and then to Ystrad, where I had a 30 minute walk to the post office. I got the parcel, only to find it was SON's Pokemon cards off ebay, not my waterblock. Annoying. I then walked back to Ystrad station in the beautifukl afternoon sunshine- there were roses out, the river was gurgling, it was just really nice. I saw people coming down the lane from the station and ran like hell for the train. Glory be, I got there and it was still in the station! Because it was waiting 10 minutes and then going back to Cardiff. Annoying. Ate my sandwich on the platform in the sun. I got the train to Pengam and walked home. When I got there, there was a “Sorry we missed you card” as MY parcel had been delivered while I was out and sent back to Ystrad, where I had just been. ANNOYING.
WIFE thought my day was quite funny, which it was in retrospect. Ah well. At least the sun shone on me."
 
potatolord said:
I keep a diary, listing both the good and bad. It's not a gratitude list, but similar.

Looking back, it's surprising how many good things happen which I didn't really appreciate at the time.

I've just had a look and here's an example:
"I got the train to Pontypridd to pick up my parcel, then when I got there they told me they’d used the wrong “sorry you’re out card” and it was in Ystrad office. I was furious and had a good shout. I got the train back and then to Ystrad, where I had a 30 minute walk to the post office. I got the parcel, only to find it was SON's Pokemon cards off ebay, not my waterblock. Annoying. I then walked back to Ystrad station in the beautifukl afternoon sunshine- there were roses out, the river was gurgling, it was just really nice. I saw people coming down the lane from the station and ran like hell for the train. Glory be, I got there and it was still in the station! Because it was waiting 10 minutes and then going back to Cardiff. Annoying. Ate my sandwich on the platform in the sun. I got the train to Pengam and walked home. When I got there, there was a “Sorry we missed you card” as MY parcel had been delivered while I was out and sent back to Ystrad, where I had just been. ANNOYING.
WIFE thought my day was quite funny, which it was in retrospect. Ah well. At least the sun shone on me."
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That's a great idea, I might have to start doing that, I think it would maybe help me see the balance of the good and the bad and make me feel less negative. I love the example, seeing the positive of the sunshine, flowers etc, I like that. I know I'd have been focused on the negative in the moment! I think being able to let some of the negative go, when thinking about the day as a whole might, in time, help me let it go in the moment too.
 
Happy to report that like @Freefaller, the lesion I had removed is "completely benign and consistent with a mole"

Weird thing is it was round but ended up like a clover, so they can seemingly change for non nefarious reasons but if in doubt, check it out.

Now I can plan my holiday (didn't want to tempt fate).

Didn't actually receive the letter yet, I was checking the NHS app and I saw I had an extra event which was a letter to my GP so I assumed the worst but then so it was only a paragraph long.
 
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valve90210 said:
Thank you for the replies, they're really helpful.

Thank you, that's really helpful, I've just had a quick look at that YouTube channel, it looks like there's a lot of stuff in there that might well help me out. I've been trying to take small steps to being more positive but I definitely find it a struggle; I think I'll need to actively engage myself in positivity to gradually grow more positive. And I think some of the videos on there will definitely help with that. I just checked out the 20s rule video and can see how that could help me to start doing more of the things which nourish my life and make me feel more positive!
Click to expand...

I'm glad that the channel looks like it'll be helpful. There's a number of similar channels that cover the same topics but i quite like the narrators delivery and the cartoons to go along side what he's saying does add an element of fun to it as well. The really daft thing that I've found is when watching and listening to the things he's covering when you think logically about it, the things he's saying are very straightforward and 'easy' to do and although it sounds boring, consistancy is the key. Do something once and you'll get a wee boost, keep doing the right things and you'll be a lot better for it whether it be mental health, confidence etc.
 
Derek W said:
I'm glad that the channel looks like it'll be helpful. There's a number of similar channels that cover the same topics but i quite like the narrators delivery and the cartoons to go along side what he's saying does add an element of fun to it as well. The really daft thing that I've found is when watching and listening to the things he's covering when you think logically about it, the things he's saying are very straightforward and 'easy' to do and although it sounds boring, consistancy is the key. Do something once and you'll get a wee boost, keep doing the right things and you'll be a lot better for it whether it be mental health, confidence etc.
Click to expand...
Absolutely that, I watched one on the 20 \second Rule, which was simply talking about making use of our laziness by making things we want to do slightly easier and things we don't want to do, slightly harder. I can see just how much of an impact that could have and how simple a change it can be.

I think you're right, consistency and doing the right things little and often will be the key to being more positive rather than trying to make big sweeping changes quickly that will likely fail.

I very much appreciate your thoughts, it's been interesting and thought provoking already. :)
 
potatolord said:
I keep a diary, listing both the good and bad. It's not a gratitude list, but similar.

Looking back, it's surprising how many good things happen which I didn't really appreciate at the time.

I've just had a look and here's an example:
"I got the train to Pontypridd to pick up my parcel, then when I got there they told me they’d used the wrong “sorry you’re out card” and it was in Ystrad office. I was furious and had a good shout. I got the train back and then to Ystrad, where I had a 30 minute walk to the post office. I got the parcel, only to find it was SON's Pokemon cards off ebay, not my waterblock. Annoying. I then walked back to Ystrad station in the beautifukl afternoon sunshine- there were roses out, the river was gurgling, it was just really nice. I saw people coming down the lane from the station and ran like hell for the train. Glory be, I got there and it was still in the station! Because it was waiting 10 minutes and then going back to Cardiff. Annoying. Ate my sandwich on the platform in the sun. I got the train to Pengam and walked home. When I got there, there was a “Sorry we missed you card” as MY parcel had been delivered while I was out and sent back to Ystrad, where I had just been. ANNOYING.
WIFE thought my day was quite funny, which it was in retrospect. Ah well. At least the sun shone on me."
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And you got your 10,000 steps in too!
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Hey champs.

There's a festival that happens most years here in Auckland called the Laneway Festival. I think it missed a couple of years with Covid and all those fun times but was back this year. The bands play at Western Springs which is about a 10 minute walk from our house so we often hear the concerts if the wind direction is right. So anyway this year they had Stomzy and a few others headlining but nothing to get me too excited so I didn't buy tickets. Happy to hear the odd drift of music sweep over to Pt Chevalier.

I get a text from my eldest daughter just after 2pm today.

Her: DAD! Erica's mum is at L-Ways. BLONDSHELL is playing! Did you know?
Me: No. I did not. *punches self in face, checks wind direction - no music, nothing*
Her: They're having fun. Let's go next time?

So, dear diary, that's the happy part. We'll go next time :)
 
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