**The Mental Health Thread**

[Lysander]

Long time lurker, first time poster.

Those who of you that are parents and suffer from anxiety and depression, what (the ****) did you do when you had your first child?

Not a parent myself, but am answering this anyway. To be honest this is one of reasons I don't have kids. My anxiety, depression [not to mention my misophonia] would go up the wall. I honestly believe I would end up running away.

 

[SixTwoSix]

Those who of you that are parents and suffer from anxiety and depression, what (the ****) did you do when you had your first child?

Personally, don't ever let my son see it, he's 4 now though and very attuned to when something is wrong. He'll ask me sometimes why i'm sad when in my mind i'm being outwardly normal and on the face of it, happy. It's quite telling how bad I am at covering it up.

I mentioned last week i'm lucky to get a few weeks or more a year to myself without wife and son, as I need my alone time, I just basically hold it all in until these periods come around.

 

[Ayahuasca]

I think the biggest fear is passing the conditions or those negative parts of your personality onto them. As above, the only thing you can really do is to try and not let it affect them, once they are old enough then you can explain the feelings and the importance of good mental health.

Spotting the signs early on e.g. if you've got an addictive personality and you put off important tasks to sit and watch TV, gaming, gamble, etc then try and stop them from falling into the same trap, this likely means trying to change your own behaviour as actions speak louder than words! All I needed was someone to tell me no now and again!

 

[DanTheMan]

Long time lurker, first time poster.

Those who of you that are parents and suffer from anxiety and depression, what (the ****) did you do when you had your first child?

I won't pretend that my anxiety / depression is as bad as some others here but I would say having a child definitely helped. It's amazing how having something rely on you for everything helps to take your mind off your own issues.

I've always been someone who enjoys their downtime alone and I do enjoy the times when my wife and daughter go out for the day, however if I'm feeling particularly rubbish then I actually find it better that they are around.

 

[Rilot]

Since I got a dog, things have been much, much better. Being forced to go out and walk the dog no matter how I'm feeling has done wonders for my mental health.

 

[BallistixOnZ490]

Got me a GP appointment today after screaming at 111 all day yesterday, still telephone only. Mostly to try another last ditch attempt at getting my chronic fatigue / lethargy helped which I believe is due to narcolepsy.

I realized they misdiagnose everything 'mental health' based as depression just for whatever fun of it, and I already had a past opinion of sleep apnoea which I dont have because my breathing and sleep are fine.

Mainly the issue being that all I'm ever given regarding mental health are the stupid 'mood quiz', and even if you get maximum points nothing still happens as a result.

Why the NHS is hell bent on refusing 'stims' to people that actually need them is beyond my comprehension. I'm always accused of 'You can't have that because its too addictive' while I have a cupboard full of prescription tramadol.

 

[Lysander]

Since I got a dog, things have been much, much better. Being forced to go out and walk the dog no matter how I'm feeling has done wonders for my mental health.

They do say that pets can significantly improve mental health. Well, they can in some ways. I don't think I could own a dog personally, it's too much responsibility.

Got me a GP appointment today after screaming at 111 all day yesterday, still telephone only.

Try not screaming at us. In most cases the only thing that will happen is you'll get a red flag on your record which says "risk to self and/or others".

I realized they misdiagnose everything 'mental health' based as depression just for whatever fun of it, and I already had a past opinion of sleep apnoea which I dont have because my breathing and sleep are fine.

Sleep apnea is not something you can diagnose yourself, as far as I am aware. Really you need to have someone watch how you sleep over a period. It's not about how well you sleep, but about how you sleep. You would necessarily not know yourself: in fact, to you, everything may seem fine, whereas someone watching you may be very concerned that you're hardly breathing at all.

Mainly the issue being that all I'm ever given regarding mental health are the stupid 'mood quiz', and even if you get maximum points nothing still happens as a result.

As far as I've personally found, effective treatment is about how well, how often, and in what detail and with how much honesty you engage with your GP/therapy services. One only gets out what one puts in. I personally take my own therapy very seriously and regularly engage with my therapist in person, on the phone or in email, and draw up spreadsheets of my moods, experiences, thoughts and feelings. As a result I've had very good support.

It really does matter who you get though, and there is a big gap between counselling, therapy and psychiatry. The first will deal with WHAT the issue is, the second will address HOW you deal with it, and the third will attempt to understand WHY you respond the way you do.

The way the mental health services in the NHS work is risk-based. Really the main concern is how much of a risk the patient is to themselves or other people. That will determine the level of assistance one gets from step 1 [GP referral] to step 5 [sectioning].

 

[Ayahuasca]

I realized they misdiagnose everything 'mental health' based as depression just for whatever fun of it, and I already had a past opinion of sleep apnoea which I dont have because my breathing and sleep are fine.

The vast majority of people who get diagnosed with sleep apnoea didn't know they had it. It's only usually severe cases where say a partner will notice it whilst you sleep. As above, you would need a sleep study done.

You really need to try and let the professionals do their job and stop self-diagnosing or telling them what medications you should be on. If you have that little faith in the NHS, save some money and go private.

 

[Lysander]

You really need to try and let the professionals do their job and stop self-diagnosing or telling them what medications you should be on. If you have that little faith in the NHS, save some money and go private.

One thing I have learned from my own therapy, and observing others, is that people are really bad at accurately self-diagnosing a problem, whilst simultaneously being convinced that they know what the issue is. That is a large part of the reason why these services exist.

As an example, for absolutely years I thought I had SSAD [Summer Seasonal Affective Disorder]. Turns out I actually have misophonia. There is no way on Earth I would have thought that that was the problem until I underwent therapy.

 

[BallistixOnZ490]

The vast majority of people who get diagnosed with sleep apnoea didn't know they had it. It's only usually severe cases where say a partner will notice it whilst you sleep. As above, you would need a sleep study done.

You really need to try and let the professionals do their job and stop self-diagnosing or telling them what medications you should be on. If you have that little faith in the NHS, save some money and go private.

The NHS refused my sleep clinic referral.

In fact every referral any GP has made for me for anything more than depression / anxiety has been refused every time.

I have narcolepsy and potentially ADHD, I have debilitated since I was 12, and the NHS does absolutely nothing but hand me drug after drug that puts me out like horse tranqs again and again.

I've already audio recorded myself when I sleep and there are no problems.

 

[BallistixOnZ490]

As far as I've personally found, effective treatment is about how well, how often, and in what detail and with how much honesty you engage with your GP/therapy services. One only gets out what one puts in. I personally take my own therapy very seriously and regularly engage with my therapist in person, on the phone or in email, and draw up spreadsheets of my moods, experiences, thoughts and feelings. As a result I've had very good support.

How can I do this when the NHS refuse any kind of 'therapy'?

 

[Lysander]

How can I do this when the NHS refuse any kind of 'therapy'?

There are so many variables that I couldn't really give you an answer over the internet.

But as I said above, the threat of harm is the biggest factor that determines the level of help. If they consider you to be a significant risk to yourself or others they will give it you. I'm not condoning lying to get therapy, but if they do not consider you much of a risk then you probably won't get help [or get much of it anyway].

From what I can see on these forums you probably have depression and you appear to project some of your own issues onto others which suggests some level of denial. Denial is something of a blocker to therapy - or certainly effective therapy - because those in denial will refuse to turn the mirror on themselves and look deeply into it, and few therapists can help someone in denial. It's a really tricky Rubik's Cube to untangle. The solution has to come from inside the person, and such a thing can be very very difficult to do. The reasons for such denial often stem from childhood and how one was treated at home or in school.

Again, like I say, it's very hard for me to say over the internet, and I do not work in mental health myself. But there are some ideas there.

 

[BallistixOnZ490]

Lol I literally tell everyone what is wrong with me and that I am the problem but somehow I'm in denial.

The NHS wont give me anything because it costs them too much.

The NHS know I'm suicidal and I am diagnosed with multiple letters on my medical history saying 'needs to be seen urgently', but I am never seen, I guess they and you think I'm lying then because I'm still alive.

 

[Lysander]

Lol I literally tell everyone what is wrong with me and that I am the problem but somehow I'm in denial.

Telling everyone "what is wrong" with you does not mean you are not in denial, neither does it mean you have significant self-perception to identify the issue.

There are plenty of people who tell everyone what is wrong with them, but it is still subjective.

Accepting constructive criticism, being open to objectively-identified issues, rejecting knee-jerk defensiveness, admitting you are wrong, apologising for errors - these are all ways of breaking the habit of denial.

I will say again, I cannot really say anything about your issues with any clinical authority. I am only going on what I perceive.

But I will say that you use pretty much every thread as an opportunity to talk about your health issues, regardless of the topic. You definitely do need help, but I do not know what is really going wrong.

 

[BallistixOnZ490]

Telling everyone "what is wrong" with you does not mean you are not in denial, neither does it mean you have significant self-perception to identify the issue.

There are plenty of people who tell everyone what is wrong with them, but it is still subjective.

Accepting constructive criticism, being open to objectively-identified issues, rejecting knee-jerk defensiveness, admitting you are wrong, apologising for errors - these are all ways of breaking the habit of denial.

I will say again, I cannot really say anything about your issues with any clinical authority. I am only going on what I perceive.

But I will say that you use pretty much every thread as an opportunity to talk about your health issues, regardless of the topic. You definitely do need help, but I do not know what is really going wrong.

So why does the NHS keep refusing to help me?

Everytime I get to see a doctor or a specialist they say the exact same thing - 'You're speaking to me fine right now and got here today so how can you have anything wrong?', followed by a refusal of any treatment or meds other than more SSRIs (I've had 6 of those already and each one only makes me significantly worse).

This exact same reasoning is also used on every DWP health assessment to give me zero points, everytime later over ruled by the employment tribunal, who even still ask 'well how do you get to your appointments then if you have that?'.

Everything in this ******* country says if you can turn up to a doctors appointment and speak to the doctor then you have zero mental health problems. That is the sole and only criteria that is routinely used against me by every and any health related service.

 

[Ayahuasca]

I'm pretty sure you just don't like the answers you've been given and you've determined that your own diagnosis is correct.

Your physical and mental health is primarily your own responsibility. It isn't on the NHS to fix whatever ailment you can come up with, especially if you've been seen multiple times and they don't feel further action is required.

How's it going with your case of trying to sue them for half a mil?

 

[BallistixOnZ490]

I'm pretty sure he just doesn't like the answers he's been given as he's detirmed that his own diagnosis is correct.

Your physical and mental health is primarily your own responsibility. It isn't on the NHS to fix whatever ailment you can come up with, especially if you've been seen multiple times and they don't feel further action is required.

How's it going with your case of trying to sue them for half a mil?

I'm not trying to sue them, I thought about it. It would help because I could actually afford to live?

How else do I pay for the rest of my life expenses?

How the **** do I fix the fact that on most days I am 100% incapable of even getting out of bed or walking down the stairs?

 

[Lysander]

Everytime I get to see a doctor or a specialist they say the exact same thing - 'You're speaking to me fine right now and got here today so how can you have anything wrong?'.

In which case you are either seeing bad doctors or you are unintentionally, unwittingly omitting some vital information.

I have no idea, I'm sorry.

Your physical and mental health is primarily your own responsibility.

This is the bottom line.

 

[BallistixOnZ490]

If its my own responsibility then how come I can't simply buy the meds that would work OTC?

I have been routinely told that if I lived in the US I would have straight up been handed adderall since day one.

I've not even ever asked for that, but I can't get a single thing at all to treat debilitating constant fatigue since I was a teenager that leaves me completely bed bound on most days of my life.

Theres nothing I can do to just 'think it away', all I can do is buy illegal drugs except I can't afford them.

 

[LuckyBenski]

My housing situation took a lurch yesterday as I found out the house I'm supposed to move to soon, is being sold. So no idea what to do in short, medium or long term now. Spent the morning feeling completely hollow and lifeless. Managed to shed a few tears though, which might be healthy. I usually cry about once a month, whether it's direct feelings or triggered by a film/music. Since covid appeared I don't think I've been able to cry at all.

If its my own responsibility then how come I can't simply buy the meds that would work OTC?

I have been routinely told that if I lived in the US I would have straight up been handed adderall since day one.

I've not even ever asked for that, but I can't get a single thing at all to treat debilitating constant fatigue since I was a teenager that leaves me completely bed bound on most days of my life.

Theres nothing I can do to just 'think it away', all I can do is buy illegal drugs except I can't afford them.

If you can't afford illegal drugs why do you think you could buy legal ones.

N.B. Adderall is for ADHD which I don't believe you've claimed to have. It's not cheap.