Ditto, my wife is from abroad and goes away once or twice a year, for a couple of months at a time. It's really good for both of us, I think.
**The Mental Health Thread**
- Thread starter Gabbatek
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Ditto, my wife is from abroad and goes away once or twice a year, for a couple of months at a time. It's really good for both of us, I think.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely need this time alone. I'm a solitary individual and am always happiest in my own company or just those closest to me. I don't like big groups, my friendship circle is tight and small. I don't mind large social situations and can function fine but I don't overly enjoy them. Yes I miss my wife and especially my son like crazy, however i'd struggle without the time alone.
It's one of the benefits of having a wife who's not English, once or twice a year she'll go and see her folks, stay a week, a month, or like last year, stay 3 months. Other folks think it's strange that we have these times apart but it's a hard reset. She's quite sociable and loves being around people but also admits these little breaks are good, I firmly believe it's the reason we're still together after almost 14 years.
We still video chat each day without fail, we text through the day, we don't just totally ignore each other
Nice man! Sounds like you've got a good handle on it. I'm totally with you, I think some couples try too hard to stay attached at the hip all the time and they forget how distance can sometimes square up a relationship.
I also think it's important to have time alone to wallow in your emotions. I think often times when we're up to our necks in family stuff we develop the unhealthy habit of burying the negative emotions we should be feeling for the sake of protecting the people we love. Having that time alone to really center yourself is so healthy. Obviously if your in the throws of a manic phase it's not quite so good.
Soldato
Anyone else have problems with their fight or flight response? Mine works a bit into overdrive the last...10yrs, just had one now in response to a very minor altercation with a colleague, infact so minor I dont think he even noticed xD
I suffer from stress and depression so I guess its just a bi product of that.
I suffer from stress and depression so I guess its just a bi product of that.
I have it a lot. Mainly with misophonia. Some sounds make me so angry I have to leave the room or I feel I will lash out.
Soldato
wow thats is extreme, soz. Is that autism related?
Mines to do with other people, luckily im in the office by myself for the vast majority of the day, infact the last time I spoke to this person was December 2020, its only a small business so dont actually have to talk to him about anything, I dont think it helps that hes friends with my cousin who could die in a fire for all I care.
Its my Dads business, hes 72 and has kinda given up but pretends he hasn't, hes also a cause of some of my stress xD DO. NOT. WORK. WITH. FAMILY.
No idea. It was recently diagnosed and autism never came into the equation. Might be, but my therapist never mentioned autism. It's only certain sounds that do it, but when they happen I have to get out because I get very angry very quickly.
I think it's more to do with how that family member acts. I worked with my mum for years while living with her and it was fine. She was technically my boss in a family business, but she never acted dominatingly and was always fair and supportive.
Soldato
Yea true, my Dad and I dont communicate so that doesnt help. ooooh my collegaue did notice, he went home and called me a a dickwad through the window hahahahaha, what a baby. xD
Had a bit of a rant to my Dad, got some things off my chest that have been bubbling, I feel good now, well better anyway.
My mum ended up being sectioned twice many years ago so thats always in the back of my mind. How do you know when you've snapped, I mean I know what it looks like in other people but does a person know theyre having a breakdown?
Not necessarily. They can be genetic. Both my parents had them and had to go for treatment.
What signs which you're showing do you think signify a potential breakdown?
Caporegime
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At 72 should your dad still be working? Why not retire?
Soldato
I have asked him a couple of times, hes not ready yet apparently which I translate to, "got nothing better to do" he plays golf but you can't do that every day,
If I could retire now, id fill my days very easily.
Oh I dont think im having one, just something I worry about sometimes.
When my mum had her first one she was saying strange things and being paranoid. Just acting completely out of character.
My dad is the same, 76 and recently beat cancer- still working. Gas engineering, carrying heavy parts, under floorboards etc 2-3 days a week
He absolutely doesn't need to, he's very wealthy and has no outgoings- he's just a firm believer in keeping busy keeps you alive
I've seen people who are young and fit struggle to keep up with him, it's impressive
Soldato
I really think you should talk to someone. I think a therapist would really help you.
I wanted to add a bit post to this thread about what's been going on with me and everything. I'm as up and down as they come - highest of highs and lowest of lows weekly. I'll come back tonight and put something down in words when I have a moment.
I get it quite a lot. I have quite severe Kenophobia which is a hang up from my anxiety and open, empty spaces are the only real thing that sets it off to any extent now. We have a caravan we use down in Wales and there's this beautiful beach less then 5 minutes away, unfortunately I can't go near it unless it's packed.
Associate
First time posting here.
Thinking about going to therapy, first time since I was 14-15 which was school counselling. On top of the last 18 months of being a combination of Covid and work related stress, I was in a very dysfunctional if somewhat abusive relationship with someone who almost destroyed my life 10 years ago. She still casts a shadow over my life and I still have flashbacks from the time I had with her. Girlfriend and family had an intervention urging me to go see help regarding it.
I really hate her for what she did to me.
Thinking about going to therapy, first time since I was 14-15 which was school counselling. On top of the last 18 months of being a combination of Covid and work related stress, I was in a very dysfunctional if somewhat abusive relationship with someone who almost destroyed my life 10 years ago. She still casts a shadow over my life and I still have flashbacks from the time I had with her. Girlfriend and family had an intervention urging me to go see help regarding it.
I really hate her for what she did to me.
First time posting here.
Thinking about going to therapy, first time since I was 14-15 which was school counselling. On top of the last 18 months of being a combination of Covid and work related stress, I was in a very dysfunctional if somewhat abusive relationship with someone who almost destroyed my life 10 years ago. She still casts a shadow over my life and I still have flashbacks from the time I had with her. Girlfriend and family had an intervention urging me to go see help regarding it.
I really hate her for what she did to me.
When I was learning how to sail, one of the questions in low-mid wind in rigging the boat was always, "should I put a reef in the sail?" [turn the sail once round the mast]. My instructor said, "if the thought ever enters your head, 'should I put a reef in the sail?' that's when you put a reef in the sail".
Similarly, if you're wondering whether you should get therapy, you should. Phone up your GP and tell them you are suffering psychological trauma as a result of a past experience/abusive relationship and you need help. Things like this tend not to go away, they just get worse if left unchecked.
Soldato
If you would like a recommendation, I can send you who I am seeing. She's very good and have been every week for a couple of months. Just drop me a trust. I'd highly recommend it for looking at getting through and processing those sorts of things.First time posting here.
Thinking about going to therapy, first time since I was 14-15 which was school counselling. On top of the last 18 months of being a combination of Covid and work related stress, I was in a very dysfunctional if somewhat abusive relationship with someone who almost destroyed my life 10 years ago. She still casts a shadow over my life and I still have flashbacks from the time I had with her. Girlfriend and family had an intervention urging me to go see help regarding it.
I really hate her for what she did to me.
Associate
It's what I've been thinking about, I just wish I went to get help sooner but I'm trying to square my feelings about that. It's something that has gradually gotten worse with time.
Thank you mate. The kindness of strangers sure is a wonderful thing.
Caporegime
Anyone else get really bad anxiety when they have an upset stomach? I've eaten something dodgy and my stomach is in a bad way, anxiety through the roof right now.
Jesting me pal!! You need me around to help you out with Concad that's what it is. In all seriousness hit me up on Facebook if you fancy a chat, any time.
Jesting me pal!! You need me around to help you out with Concad that's what it is. In all seriousness hit me up on Facebook if you fancy a chat, any time.
Soldato
Long time lurker, first time poster.
Those who of you that are parents and suffer from anxiety and depression, what (the ****) did you do when you had your first child?
Those who of you that are parents and suffer from anxiety and depression, what (the ****) did you do when you had your first child?
Associate
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Fight or flight is my immediate default mode in any social situation.