**The Mental Health Thread**

[Nitefly]

After another meltdown and crisis intervention by family and friends on Sunday night I arranged to see a GP yesterday. Not because I wanted to but because I promised family and friends I would. I have been prescribed Sertraline as a start and have agreed to take it for now despite not wanting to. Also waiting on a call from mental health team.

I still feel at the bottom of everything. I’m sick of the platitudes and comments about how I will get better. People talk about future and karma like it will all work out but it just isn’t true. Not everything works out. Not everyone is happy.

The only thing that will fix me is a Time Machine and going back to a time before. I can’t have that. I’m stuck in a life I can’t enjoy and that brings pain everyday.

I’ll see how the pills go and give them some time but this is all consuming and I can’t get the brain to turn off the illogical.

Sorry to hear that you're still struggling. A few things come up in this post that are worth reflecting on:

The only thing that will fix me is a Time Machine and going back to a time before.

I know this was written in a state of despair but speaking truthfully and as you friend, this statement is clearly "catastrophising"... which can happen when you repeatedly engage with challenging emotional states.

Think of it like this: if you take a piece of A4 paper and put it right in front of your eyes.... what can you see? Well... only the piece of paper, really. How can you expect yourself to not be engrossed in the piece of paper if that's the only thing you can see?

If you move the piece of paper further away from your head, suddenly you'll see other things. What's that over that? Oh - a shelf. Some clothes... a TV. What's on that? Hmm. Whatever you see, it's not only the piece of paper.

In your emotional state, the piece of paper is right up against your face and it's all you can see. It probably isn't something that can be brute forced away.

For now, you ought to remember that it might take you some time to get a different perspective and, also, that you should try (gently) to engage with other things that aren't the piece of paper. If all you engage with is the piece of paper... how the heck are you going to see anything else?

I’m sick of the platitudes and comments about how I will get better.

Their gestures might seem empty, but people are probably telling you that because they care about you. You never know, some of those people might have been 'up against the ropes' themselves.

Not everything works out. Not everyone is happy.

Indeed - and it's definitely true that nobody is happy all the time. Simply being alive necessitates a ton of 'missing out', lost opportunities and paths not travelled.

But, that's sort of besides the point. Right now, you're going through a period in which you're unhappy. Yup. It sounds very rough. We hear you.

I’ll see how the pills go and give them some time but this is all consuming and I can’t get the brain to turn off the illogical.

In my experience, I have felt the physical impact of such drugs immediately but the payoff hasn't come for some time later... but it wasn't too long.

See how it goes! Be open, curious and gentle

 

[That Jekka Gal]

The last 8 weeks have basically been pure hell internally. I haven’t vocalised it with friends and family and tbh have been trying to hide as much as possible. Faked it through Christmas. Isolated for new year.

A lot came out today when I popped to see my mum and step-dad. Having run into the ex and her new bf earlier today for the first time and having not seen her for 6 months a lot hit like a brick. Despite hating her and certainly never wanting her back I still can’t seem to move on and miss her and my old family life terribly. Guess I’m just too old fashioned for a disposable world.

Still stuck in my head. Still unable to let go. Depression kicking my ass hard. Too many bad thoughts and plans in place including how, where and what my last words will be in writing and messages. Just all in a complete feeling of rejection and failure with no positivity. Work has gone to hell because of my mental health. Pretty sure my time there is limited. No new social connections and feel a burden to friends after all this time. Over a year on and I find myself still in the same place I was.

I’m a shell of who I used to be. I really just don’t see the point. I liken myself to someone in physical pain where out is the right option and the end is a considered relief. Mental pain is misunderstood and it is so consuming with no relief or remedy.

First time I have written this out. Sorry to be the one without a positive update.

I had a winter like that a few years ago after my separation and it was hell.

Went to a GP on 2 occasions- one told me to take regular walks but stay away from the cliffs (!?), the other prescribed antidepressants. I took one and felt numbed - chucked the rest in the bin.

What got me out of the hole was a combination of mindfulness, a healthy diet, limiting alcohol intake and, most importantly of all regular exercise. It was hard to do and I really had to keep kicking myself up the ass to do it but after a bit of time I was reaping the benefits.

I wish you all the best.