**The Mental Health Thread**

[Nitefly]

After another meltdown and crisis intervention by family and friends on Sunday night I arranged to see a GP yesterday. Not because I wanted to but because I promised family and friends I would. I have been prescribed Sertraline as a start and have agreed to take it for now despite not wanting to. Also waiting on a call from mental health team.

I still feel at the bottom of everything. I’m sick of the platitudes and comments about how I will get better. People talk about future and karma like it will all work out but it just isn’t true. Not everything works out. Not everyone is happy.

The only thing that will fix me is a Time Machine and going back to a time before. I can’t have that. I’m stuck in a life I can’t enjoy and that brings pain everyday.

I’ll see how the pills go and give them some time but this is all consuming and I can’t get the brain to turn off the illogical.

Sorry to hear that you're still struggling. A few things come up in this post that are worth reflecting on:

The only thing that will fix me is a Time Machine and going back to a time before.

I know this was written in a state of despair but speaking truthfully and as you friend, this statement is clearly "catastrophising"... which can happen when you repeatedly engage with challenging emotional states.

Think of it like this: if you take a piece of A4 paper and put it right in front of your eyes.... what can you see? Well... only the piece of paper, really. How can you expect yourself to not be engrossed in the piece of paper if that's the only thing you can see?

If you move the piece of paper further away from your head, suddenly you'll see other things. What's that over that? Oh - a shelf. Some clothes... a TV. What's on that? Hmm. Whatever you see, it's not only the piece of paper.

In your emotional state, the piece of paper is right up against your face and it's all you can see. It probably isn't something that can be brute forced away.

For now, you ought to remember that it might take you some time to get a different perspective and, also, that you should try (gently) to engage with other things that aren't the piece of paper. If all you engage with is the piece of paper... how the heck are you going to see anything else?

I’m sick of the platitudes and comments about how I will get better.

Their gestures might seem empty, but people are probably telling you that because they care about you. You never know, some of those people might have been 'up against the ropes' themselves.

Not everything works out. Not everyone is happy.

Indeed - and it's definitely true that nobody is happy all the time. Simply being alive necessitates a ton of 'missing out', lost opportunities and paths not travelled.

But, that's sort of besides the point. Right now, you're going through a period in which you're unhappy. Yup. It sounds very rough. We hear you.

I’ll see how the pills go and give them some time but this is all consuming and I can’t get the brain to turn off the illogical.

In my experience, I have felt the physical impact of such drugs immediately but the payoff hasn't come for some time later... but it wasn't too long.

See how it goes! Be open, curious and gentle

 

[That Jekka Gal]

The last 8 weeks have basically been pure hell internally. I haven’t vocalised it with friends and family and tbh have been trying to hide as much as possible. Faked it through Christmas. Isolated for new year.

A lot came out today when I popped to see my mum and step-dad. Having run into the ex and her new bf earlier today for the first time and having not seen her for 6 months a lot hit like a brick. Despite hating her and certainly never wanting her back I still can’t seem to move on and miss her and my old family life terribly. Guess I’m just too old fashioned for a disposable world.

Still stuck in my head. Still unable to let go. Depression kicking my ass hard. Too many bad thoughts and plans in place including how, where and what my last words will be in writing and messages. Just all in a complete feeling of rejection and failure with no positivity. Work has gone to hell because of my mental health. Pretty sure my time there is limited. No new social connections and feel a burden to friends after all this time. Over a year on and I find myself still in the same place I was.

I’m a shell of who I used to be. I really just don’t see the point. I liken myself to someone in physical pain where out is the right option and the end is a considered relief. Mental pain is misunderstood and it is so consuming with no relief or remedy.

First time I have written this out. Sorry to be the one without a positive update.

I had a winter like that a few years ago after my separation and it was hell.

Went to a GP on 2 occasions- one told me to take regular walks but stay away from the cliffs (!?), the other prescribed antidepressants. I took one and felt numbed - chucked the rest in the bin.

What got me out of the hole was a combination of mindfulness, a healthy diet, limiting alcohol intake and, most importantly of all regular exercise. It was hard to do and I really had to keep kicking myself up the ass to do it but after a bit of time I was reaping the benefits.

I wish you all the best.

 

[ShadowMan]

Day 3 of meds done. Nausea and headache kicking my ass. Also may be coming down with a cold. Joy.

Still feeling low and fed up. Motivation still non existent. Came home early from work at 2 and just went to bed.

Kids go away Friday so know this weekend and next week are going to really suck. Waiting for the benefits of meds to kick in next couple of weeks.

 

[Dave85]

I'm autistic and have anxiety they suspect maybe adhd as well but not sure this is due to one or the other. I have for about 5 months now just been feeling like everything is just too much. Its hard to put into words the feeling. It's like everything just seems so hard to process. My thoughts are all over the place and I cant seem to focus on anything. My interests have disappeared such as gaming, I find myself not managing to sit the length of a film without getting agitated and like I need to be doing something. I always feel on edge and like my thoughts are running away from me. I'm not describing this exactly as I lack the words to describe it but I'm genuinely feeling like im losing the plot. I have been stuck on the list for autistic services therapy but waiting list is years. My private health care from work therapy with cbt should start in a few weeks but wondered if anyone else has felt roughly the same and had some ideas?

 

[Noxia]

I'm autistic and have anxiety they suspect maybe adhd as well but not sure this is due to one or the other. I have for about 5 months now just been feeling like everything is just too much. Its hard to put into words the feeling. It's like everything just seems so hard to process. My thoughts are all over the place and I cant seem to focus on anything. My interests have disappeared such as gaming, I find myself not managing to sit the length of a film without getting agitated and like I need to be doing something. I always feel on edge and like my thoughts are running away from me. I'm not describing this exactly as I lack the words to describe it but I'm genuinely feeling like im losing the plot. I have been stuck on the list for autistic services therapy but waiting list is years. My private health care from work therapy with cbt should start in a few weeks but wondered if anyone else has felt roughly the same and had some ideas?

Preface, not medical advice, just sharing anecdotal evidence.

I recall some infographs I used for a work presentation called 'misdiagnosis Monday' and there was a venn diagram of ASD/ADHD and there are a high number of traits that overlap which contributes to one being diagnosed as the other (these were by a medical professional, not a tiktok self-diagnoser), or, co-morbidity between the two not being spotted. This is because they are not diagnosed as a combined thing but individual conditions.
Both of those can be a significant factor for low mood/depression which of course can (emphasis on can) be why it's hard to enjoy things like you used to. Are you going through a lot of stuff that is disrupting your sense of normality or routine?

 

[Rob_B]

It's common I think, the short term hits to keep your attention are easy to get so you just do that instead of other stuff. An attention disorder would fit with this. I struggle with that although apparently I don't have ADD (massively disagree but hey I'm not an expert with a tick box questionnaire so what do I know?)
Lack of a sense of purpose doesn't help, it's the usual answer but if you can find something you enjoy that gives you some (volunteering or community work as an example) that can sometimes help.

Whereabouits are you? Scottish mental health services are at breaking point if not past it, you'll be waiting a long time as you know. Does you private healthcare have any of that?

 

[Dave85]

Are you going through a lot of stuff that is disrupting your sense of normality or routine?

Absolutely the whole of 2024 has been upside down. My autism diagnosis has been a blessing and a curse. I'm trying to be more me well who I think I should be. I find it nearly impossible to mask anymore and that's hard as it was my shield from anxiety. I have a found a lot of purpose in life as well and I'm mentoring disadvantaged children along with a new job as well as lots of after work activities with the church group etc. as keeping super busy seems to help me focus. I also think I have AuDHD as they call it as my step child does and were very very similar. MY autism score was off the charts so no chance that was misdiagnosed but I reckon they need to be looking at the ADHD side of things if anything just to get strategies to cope with it.

Whereabouits are you? Scottish mental health services are at breaking point if not past it, you'll be waiting a long time as you know. Does you private healthcare have any of that?

Scotland and yes thankfully the private is picking up for this and can see Psychologists and Psychiatrist. It was ironic most users wait years for autism diagnosis, I waited years for my anxiety help and she turned it into a Autism diagnosis as she was so sure I had it and didn't want me waiting for years but then did not have time to help with the Anxiety

Thanks for all the advice it's much appreciated. Will be pushing for further testing for sure.

 

[Nitefly]

Not medical advice, just sharing some thoughts and insight from my personal experiences.

It's pretty obvious from cross-referencing symptoms and behaviours that I have 'borderline personality disorder' and I raised this with the psychologist that I see. Paraphrasing what he told me: well, it doesn't really matter what you have or what labels I might give you and in some cases that can be unhelpful. Much better to figure out treatment that works for you than pigeon-hole yourself into a label. If anything, these labels are helpful for bureaucracy purposes when it comes to treatment; making sure you get seen by the right people. But it's actually pretty meaningless for a patient in terms of specific treatments and next steps because everyone is so different and conditions / symptoms vary so wildly. Better to focus on your needs and helping you.

... huh. I mean, I get it, he's clearly right... but... I was curious dammit!

Since the treatment for that is psychotherapy anyway, it doesn't really matter for me personally. But worth keeping in mind that a label can be helpful in some ways and unhelpful in others.

 

[LuckyBenski]

Feel like the Edit button is broken

 

[LuckyBenski]

Nvm, not relevant

 

[LuckyBenski]

Edit: Nvm, not relevant

 

[Cromulent]

Not medical advice, just sharing some thoughts and insight from my personal experiences.

It's pretty obvious from cross-referencing symptoms and behaviours that I have 'borderline personality disorder' and I raised this with the psychologist that I see. Paraphrasing what he told me: well, it doesn't really matter what you have or what labels I might give you and in some cases that can be unhelpful. Much better to figure out treatment that works for you than pigeon-hole yourself into a label. If anything, these labels are helpful for bureaucracy purposes when it comes to treatment; making sure you get seen by the right people. But it's actually pretty meaningless for a patient in terms of specific treatments and next steps because everyone is so different and conditions / symptoms vary so wildly. Better to focus on your needs and helping you.

... huh. I mean, I get it, he's clearly right... but... I was curious dammit!

Since the treatment for that is psychotherapy anyway, it doesn't really matter for me personally. But worth keeping in mind that a label can be helpful in some ways and unhelpful in others.

BPD (EUPD) has some pretty bad stigma associated with it. I've heard plenty of stories from people saying they were ignored or dismissed because they had an EUPD diagnosis.

 

[Cromulent]

I've just started a free online CBT course and one of the tasks is keeping a mood diary. I'm not particularly good at keeping to routines. I can set an automated reminder but was curious if anyone had done it as well and if they had any advice? I was just going to use Google Docs to do it but if there is something better I'd love to hear about it.

 

[hurfdurf]

The only thing that will fix me is a Time Machine and going back to a time before. I can’t have that. I’m stuck in a life I can’t enjoy and that brings pain everyday.

Set a goal for the future. Ideally a fitness goal. Work towards it every day be it going to the gym or a daily habit.

Become more successful than your past self, become more attractive. Your ex won’t come back to you whilst moping around being sad about what you lost. She will come back once you demonstrate a level of value that means she wants you back. By the time you reach that point, you’ll hopefully be with a younger much more attractive woman and won’t even want her.

 

[ic1male]

I've just started a free online CBT course and one of the tasks is keeping a mood diary. I'm not particularly good at keeping to routines. I can set an automated reminder but was curious if anyone had done it as well and if they had any advice? I was just going to use Google Docs to do it but if there is something better I'd love to hear about it.

Not sure if you're on iOS but Apple has the Journal app which allows you to write some notes and include a "State of Mind" which describes how you're feeling at that moment.

 

[Cromulent]

Not sure if you're on iOS but Apple has the Journal app which allows you to write some notes and include a "State of Mind" which describes how you're feeling at that moment.

Oh, awesome! I had completely forgotten about that. Thank you very much!