**The Mental Health Thread**

[MOOGLEYS]

Its Kind of you to ask about everyone else, so i am going to ask the same and see how you are feeling today? Hope your feeling better

Thanks matey I'm doing a bit better now. It seems having a stoma and no large bowl really affects your absorption of meds. My stoma nurse recommended breaking the escitalopram tablets in half before taking as she has known them to just pass through as they are coated. She thinks I might have been going through withdrawal by not fully absorbing the med. I have been doing this a few days now and do feel a lot better so it seems her logic might well be good.

It's all good fun.... lol

 

[clubb699]

Thanks matey I'm doing a bit better now. It seems having a stoma and no large bowl really affects your absorption of meds. My stoma nurse recommended breaking the escitalopram tablets in half before taking as she has known them to just pass through as they are coated. She thinks I might have been going through withdrawal by not fully absorbing the med. I have been doing this a few days now and do feel a lot better so it seems her logic might well be good.

It's all good fun.... lol

That is fantastic news sounds like you got a good nurse that knows what shes talking about, it certainly is fun lol

 

[JBeck]

Just stumbled upon this thread, don't do GD often so... Some familiar names in here that I recognise from other sub forums, sorry you've had a hard time with things but as usual with such places you have no idea until you're told...
I've had my highs and lows myself, been on all sorts in the past and learned pretty quickly that they didn't suit me to the point of allergic and almost didn't come out the other side because of it.
With no option but to pick myself up through sheer determination and resilience I'm now on the other side... I now work for the NHS on a mental health access team for anyone who needs help, as I myself ironically did at one point or another.
What I'd say is there is help out there for everyone in one way or another, and you should use it because that's what we're here for, it's our job and we do care.
Not sure where I'm going with this but thought I'd just throw this in, helpful or not, it's nice to know someone somewhere gives a ****

 

[eddie101]

Not really sure if this is right place but needed to have a vent/somewhere to jot how I'm feeling/confess, I don't know.

Long story short, my dad (82) is in the early stages of dementia, and has been going downhill for the last couple of years, and my mum (64) works full time but also cares for him as much as possible. I'm 32, work full time and try and go round 4/5 times a week to help out with things, my wife did work full time but has now recently started maternity leave as we're expecting our first in the next couple of weeks so isn't much she can do right now. I have 5 older half brothers who quite frankly don't care about him so its always been me and my mum looking after him (has gone through various things in the last 15 years or so. Prostate cancer which has spread to the lymph nodes, skin cancer which meant he had half his nose removed, gone blind in one eye, broken hip, the list goes on) but it's always been me and my mum.

The last couple of months, he's got worse very quick. Forgetting the majority of things we tell him and just choosing to vegetate in the living room. He's not eating, he throws food away that my mum makes for him, and has lost 3-4 stone quite quickly (now down to around 10st and looks ill). He constantly says he's done things when he hasn't, basic things like tidying up after making his own breakfast or running the vacuum around, i know this is part of the dementia but it's how angry he gets with my mum saying that she's bullying him, or torturing him by going on, when all she does is ask what he's done today (there is a white board in the kitchen with different tasks on, different things to say to alexa so he can listen to different music, it's something we were told to do as it would help trigger him doing stuff). She comes round my house 1 night a week to 'escape' and she inevitably breaks down over something he's said to her that week.

Then to today, I went round after work as I do to walk their dog and do a couple of odd things. I went in the house and i could hear him shouting at her, saying things like 'oh you've had a bad day at work so you take it out on me' and 'I don't know why you keep bullying me' things like that. Went in the living room and he tried to bring me into it but I said that she's only trying to help him be more independent and help. Instantly he starts been verbally abusive towards me, shouting about how we do nothing for him and that woman (my mum) does "**** all in this house" and now he's got two people on at him. He then followed this up with "you two have done **** all for me". This was the moment, I lost it.

Now me and my dad have never been 'close', he's never really been interested in what I do, shown much love or affection or taken me places but I've always put that down to him being an older dad. I've always been very calm and patient with him, I've tried to do my best with everything I do for him, but I just flipped. It's very rare I show emotion at the best of times but I think he got the point i was raging. I told him that the only reason he was alive was cause of my mum looking after him all these years, taking him to countless hospital appt's (he's currently on around 70-80 appointments in the last 12 months) but I started shouting at him and for 30 seconds I lost my self control. I was saying things I never thought would come out of my mouth, that if he thinks we do nothing for him then he should just **** off out of the house and try and make it to the end of the week, I just kept telling him to **** off. Next thing he started crying, saying 'none of my other boys have ever spoken to me like this why are you?!' and I said something like 'It's cause you don't even know them, they've had nothing to do with you for well over 10 years and I can see why'. And then he just switched off, blanked me, my mum didn't know what to say so i just went out with the dog for half hour to clear my head. When I left I made sure I gave him a hug and told him I loved him and I was only defending my mum, but I know he won't understand that.

I literally feel like the worst person in the world right now. I've been holding back tears since I got home, I've not told my wife 'cause she doesn't need to know any of this, she has more important things to focus on. But I shouldn't of said what I did. I love my dad to bits and would do anything for him but it feels like he's pushing me and my mum further away every week. I feel so rotten inside that I could even say those things but I snapped and it came out directed at the one person I shouldn't of directed it at. I suffered quite badly from bipolar and anxiety a few years ago and I've seen some of my old patterns creeping back in which I don't think has helped the situation but I can't blame it on that.

Sorry for the long post but just needed to put it in to words and show strangers on the internet i'm a ****.

 

[WT3-Bey]

Likewise I hope you’re all feeling good today, wherever you are. Riding the ups and downs.

I’ve just met a new female, and I’m absolutely buzzing, feeling light hearted and joyful. It’s amazing how things can change so fast and make you feel so good, and enjoying just being yourself for a change.

I hope you all find this place, and enjoy it when you do, because happiness is to be savoured when she comes around.

Not really sure if this is right place but needed to have a vent/somewhere to jot how I'm feeling/confess, I don't know.

Long story short, my dad (82) is in the early stages of dementia, and has been going downhill for the last couple of years, and my mum (64) works full time but also cares for him as much as possible. I'm 32, work full time and try and go round 4/5 times a week to help out with things, my wife did work full time but has now recently started maternity leave as we're expecting our first in the next couple of weeks so isn't much she can do right now. I have 5 older half brothers who quite frankly don't care about him so its always been me and my mum looking after him (has gone through various things in the last 15 years or so. Prostate cancer which has spread to the lymph nodes, skin cancer which meant he had half his nose removed, gone blind in one eye, broken hip, the list goes on) but it's always been me and my mum.

The last couple of months, he's got worse very quick. Forgetting the majority of things we tell him and just choosing to vegetate in the living room. He's not eating, he throws food away that my mum makes for him, and has lost 3-4 stone quite quickly (now down to around 10st and looks ill). He constantly says he's done things when he hasn't, basic things like tidying up after making his own breakfast or running the vacuum around, i know this is part of the dementia but it's how angry he gets with my mum saying that she's bullying him, or torturing him by going on, when all she does is ask what he's done today (there is a white board in the kitchen with different tasks on, different things to say to alexa so he can listen to different music, it's something we were told to do as it would help trigger him doing stuff). She comes round my house 1 night a week to 'escape' and she inevitably breaks down over something he's said to her that week.

Then to today, I went round after work as I do to walk their dog and do a couple of odd things. I went in the house and i could hear him shouting at her, saying things like 'oh you've had a bad day at work so you take it out on me' and 'I don't know why you keep bullying me' things like that. Went in the living room and he tried to bring me into it but I said that she's only trying to help him be more independent and help. Instantly he starts been verbally abusive towards me, shouting about how we do nothing for him and that woman (my mum) does "**** all in this house" and now he's got two people on at him. He then followed this up with "you two have done **** all for me". This was the moment, I lost it.

Now me and my dad have never been 'close', he's never really been interested in what I do, shown much love or affection or taken me places but I've always put that down to him being an older dad. I've always been very calm and patient with him, I've tried to do my best with everything I do for him, but I just flipped. It's very rare I show emotion at the best of times but I think he got the point i was raging. I told him that the only reason he was alive was cause of my mum looking after him all these years, taking him to countless hospital appt's (he's currently on around 70-80 appointments in the last 12 months) but I started shouting at him and for 30 seconds I lost my self control. I was saying things I never thought would come out of my mouth, that if he thinks we do nothing for him then he should just **** off out of the house and try and make it to the end of the week, I just kept telling him to **** off. Next thing he started crying, saying 'none of my other boys have ever spoken to me like this why are you?!' and I said something like 'It's cause you don't even know them, they've had nothing to do with you for well over 10 years and I can see why'. And then he just switched off, blanked me, my mum didn't know what to say so i just went out with the dog for half hour to clear my head. When I left I made sure I gave him a hug and told him I loved him and I was only defending my mum, but I know he won't understand that.

I literally feel like the worst person in the world right now. I've been holding back tears since I got home, I've not told my wife 'cause she doesn't need to know any of this, she has more important things to focus on. But I shouldn't of said what I did. I love my dad to bits and would do anything for him but it feels like he's pushing me and my mum further away every week. I feel so rotten inside that I could even say those things but I snapped and it came out directed at the one person I shouldn't of directed it at. I suffered quite badly from bipolar and anxiety a few years ago and I've seen some of my old patterns creeping back in which I don't think has helped the situation but I can't blame it on that.

Sorry for the long post but just needed to put it in to words and show strangers on the internet i'm a ****.

Really sorry to hear about your situation. It’s a very hard thing to go through, when a loved one is suffering like this and becoming irritable and lashing out. Don’t beat yourself up about this. You’re doing the right thing and you know you are. You lost your cool but you’re still there for him and your mum, that’s all that matters. Why not tell your wife though. You need to share your thoughts and feelings sometimes. Don’t let overthinking an emotional situation trick you into feeling guilty, you’re not. You're a good person and a great son. That is without question at this point. Take care of yourself.

Just stumbled upon this thread, don't do GD often so... Some familiar names in here that I recognise from other sub forums, sorry you've had a hard time with things but as usual with such places you have no idea until you're told...
I've had my highs and lows myself, been on all sorts in the past and learned pretty quickly that they didn't suit me to the point of allergic and almost didn't come out the other side because of it.
With no option but to pick myself up through sheer determination and resilience I'm now on the other side... I now work for the NHS on a mental health access team for anyone who needs help, as I myself ironically did at one point or another.
What I'd say is there is help out there for everyone in one way or another, and you should use it because that's what we're here for, it's our job and we do care.
Not sure where I'm going with this but thought I'd just throw this in, helpful or not, it's nice to know someone somewhere gives a ****

Nice of you to pop in mate. Thanks

 

[Eurofighter]

Can you get some carers in or at least a cleaner? My gran who has alzheimers has several visits a day.

 

[james.miller]

James.Miller - this thread has been a bit of a release for me, although I am far from ok, as I just put a little bit down and then I just carried on. Was that how it felt for you? Did you find it better putting it to paper as it were? I'm sorry to hear you're going through testing times and I hope you can find a path through it.

Honestly, not really. Not at the moment, anyway. I guess soo much is going on that I don't really know where to start. I mean, I know I have to start somewhere but everywhere I turn there's a mountain to climb. Still, I have another appointment with the GP on the 30th (my birthday... Whoop) and ill get to see what he wants to do about this depression I guess.

 

[Cromulent]

If anyone has Schizophrenia and wants to talk, feel free to message me, I'm always looking to talk to people to share tips for how to cope with things. Of course, if you have depression or anxiety, I also have experience with those so feel free to message me as well. I'm pretty much stuck inside due to my mental health problems, but I like to try and make friends online as that is where I spend most of my time. Always happy to help.

 

[rxr-v2]

Cromulent, how many of your senses (sight, touch, taste, smell, hearing) are / were affected by it? Ie. Does / did your imaginal field present you with 'tangible' illusory inputs or abilities in all 5 sensory channels or less? 5 is not uncommon if you've had the condition for a while (sometimes less than a month).

My own experience was quite instructive and a thorough logical dogfight: I had to reground all 5 senses that were disrupted concurrently. My main tools were the reductio ad absurdum technique /negation testing, giving entities deliberately ridiculous names, the '3 year olds' abilities test on pseudo potents of various races and entity types - from the dead to the ' other-worldly ', and approximately a dozen spontaneously appearing (over the course of some months) imaginary abilities, moral indignation, and a fair bit of bravery over an extended period as I devised the treatment, amid imaginary threats of quite atrocious, guilt inducing and paranoia inducing kinds among others.

In other words, and from deep experience, it was a harder and more vexatious slog than devising a remedy for ptsd.

The personally instructive part was I was able to deduce the algorithm from patterns in its phenomena. As with most conditions (grief, depression, ptsd - formally the most severe anxiety condition) - the grief cycle sequence dominates - until the irritation -> anger at the condition phase is reached, the symptoms persist. But resolve quickly automatically after.

However, there is a significant noticeable difference in the stress chemistry between self-treatment of ptsd and schizophrenia symptoms. The latter has a lot more social oxytocin (an endorphin) binding in its complexes - (loyalty issues and conflicts, we, us, our) - to the imagined social network - which make it somewhat aversive but necessary to rewire. I say social oxytocin as it has been found that many cases of ptsd are oxytocin bindings to standards, and more easily resolved by standard s-targetting fact checks.

Another juicy fruit / instructive insight filled a significant gap in one of my models (stress perception). A major win, strictly on the technical front.

Also, I have evidence that some of the current research on covert (ie. inner) speech has a flawed perception of a single channel - there are, from experience, at least three covert speech channels concurrently possible. Finding the wavelengths of those two other channels can be expected to provide the objective data of the 'hearing voices' problem.

 

[Andrew_McP]

Long story short, my dad (82) is in the early stages of dementia.

I'm sure this is granny/egg sucking territory, but just in case you're not familiar with the principle of compassionate communication...
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
I know that darned thing by heart, but it still doesn't stop me being human and allowing weariness and frustration to lead me into counterproductive behaviour. The only comfort I get, as sole carer for my mother, is that what I'm trying to do is virtually impossible... as anyone dealing with dementia knows all too well.

I wish you and your family all the best... for what little that's worth. Truth be told, nothing is worth anything when it comes to dementia... especially sympathy, which is a currency with almost as much value as the Venezualan bolivar. Just take some solace from the fact that you're part of managing the most miserable way someone can fall apart. It's never going to be easy unless you happen to have a relative who falls into the 'quiet confusion' category. There are a few at our local dementia group, but my mother is FTD type. Quietly befuddled is definitely not her style.

 

[LuckyBenski]

Been in an increasingly bad state this week, from surly to stressed to downright dire at work. Too much going on in my team and people aren't really managing to keep a lid on the disorganisation. I ended up very much ready to start a fight or tell my boss I won't touch our storage space. Was still very down and sullen having a drink with colleagues and when I got home.

Spent the day sorting my car out but still would happily sink into a hole rather than deal with another day like this.

Maybe this is the seasonal depression kicking in.

 

[MOOGLEYS]

I have been doing ok until today for some reason not long after waking I have felt quite Anxious with over thinking and a general horrible feeling making me restless. No idea where it has come from tbh but I suppose that Is the nature of the beast. I'm seeing an Endocrinologist on the 7th Nov to see if my long term steroid use and difficulty reducing from 10mg is affecting my nervous system. Maybe I'm getting worried I'm not sure just does not seem much reason why I feel this way. Really want to crack on with things but struggling but on the same note I'm finding it hard to relax its a horrid feeling. Been doing some breathing exercises and trying to push through.

Having the Ileostomy surgery has done wonders for my physical health and guts but wrecked havoc with my mental health it seems.

Hope everyone else is having a bit better time than me. lol

 

[Eurofighter]

Cromulent. I have schizophrenia. I would like a chat but don't know how to message you.

 

[Duel_me_bro]

Not really sure if this is right place but needed to have a vent/somewhere to jot how I'm feeling/confess, I don't know.

Long story short, my dad (82) is in the early stages of dementia, and has been going downhill for the last couple of years, and my mum (64) works full time but also cares for him as much as possible. I'm 32, work full time and try and go round 4/5 times a week to help out with things, my wife did work full time but has now recently started maternity leave as we're expecting our first in the next couple of weeks so isn't much she can do right now. I have 5 older half brothers who quite frankly don't care about him so its always been me and my mum looking after him (has gone through various things in the last 15 years or so. Prostate cancer which has spread to the lymph nodes, skin cancer which meant he had half his nose removed, gone blind in one eye, broken hip, the list goes on) but it's always been me and my mum.

The last couple of months, he's got worse very quick. Forgetting the majority of things we tell him and just choosing to vegetate in the living room. He's not eating, he throws food away that my mum makes for him, and has lost 3-4 stone quite quickly (now down to around 10st and looks ill). He constantly says he's done things when he hasn't, basic things like tidying up after making his own breakfast or running the vacuum around, i know this is part of the dementia but it's how angry he gets with my mum saying that she's bullying him, or torturing him by going on, when all she does is ask what he's done today (there is a white board in the kitchen with different tasks on, different things to say to alexa so he can listen to different music, it's something we were told to do as it would help trigger him doing stuff). She comes round my house 1 night a week to 'escape' and she inevitably breaks down over something he's said to her that week.

Then to today, I went round after work as I do to walk their dog and do a couple of odd things. I went in the house and i could hear him shouting at her, saying things like 'oh you've had a bad day at work so you take it out on me' and 'I don't know why you keep bullying me' things like that. Went in the living room and he tried to bring me into it but I said that she's only trying to help him be more independent and help. Instantly he starts been verbally abusive towards me, shouting about how we do nothing for him and that woman (my mum) does "**** all in this house" and now he's got two people on at him. He then followed this up with "you two have done **** all for me". This was the moment, I lost it.

Now me and my dad have never been 'close', he's never really been interested in what I do, shown much love or affection or taken me places but I've always put that down to him being an older dad. I've always been very calm and patient with him, I've tried to do my best with everything I do for him, but I just flipped. It's very rare I show emotion at the best of times but I think he got the point i was raging. I told him that the only reason he was alive was cause of my mum looking after him all these years, taking him to countless hospital appt's (he's currently on around 70-80 appointments in the last 12 months) but I started shouting at him and for 30 seconds I lost my self control. I was saying things I never thought would come out of my mouth, that if he thinks we do nothing for him then he should just **** off out of the house and try and make it to the end of the week, I just kept telling him to **** off. Next thing he started crying, saying 'none of my other boys have ever spoken to me like this why are you?!' and I said something like 'It's cause you don't even know them, they've had nothing to do with you for well over 10 years and I can see why'. And then he just switched off, blanked me, my mum didn't know what to say so i just went out with the dog for half hour to clear my head. When I left I made sure I gave him a hug and told him I loved him and I was only defending my mum, but I know he won't understand that.

I literally feel like the worst person in the world right now. I've been holding back tears since I got home, I've not told my wife 'cause she doesn't need to know any of this, she has more important things to focus on. But I shouldn't of said what I did. I love my dad to bits and would do anything for him but it feels like he's pushing me and my mum further away every week. I feel so rotten inside that I could even say those things but I snapped and it came out directed at the one person I shouldn't of directed it at. I suffered quite badly from bipolar and anxiety a few years ago and I've seen some of my old patterns creeping back in which I don't think has helped the situation but I can't blame it on that.

Sorry for the long post but just needed to put it in to words and show strangers on the internet i'm a ****.

Oh man I feel bad for you, what a tough situation to be in. For the little it's worth it sounds like you have a great amount of compassion so no better person for the job.

Definitely confide in your wife even if you don't want to share all. It will make it a lot easier to deal with and if you find your mood changing she'll spot it and understand rather than think something up.

All the very best!

 

[Nevakonaza]

Has anyone ever got to a stage in their life where they feel like "empty"and dont really feel any sort of emotion anymore? ive felt like this for a few months now my mind just is blank and numb feeling.

 

[JonnyT]

Has anyone ever got to a stage in their life where they feel like "empty"and dont really feel any sort of emotion anymore? ive felt like this for a few months now my mind just is blank and numb feeling.

Yes, I get that a lot. Hard to deal any real lasting joy or pleasure in anything?

 

[Yadda]

Not really sure if this is right place but needed to have a vent/somewhere to jot how I'm feeling/confess, I don't know.

Long story short, my dad (82) is in the early stages of dementia, and has been going downhill for the last couple of years, and my mum (64) works full time but also cares for him as much as possible. I'm 32, work full time and try and go round 4/5 times a week to help out with things, my wife did work full time but has now recently started maternity leave as we're expecting our first in the next couple of weeks so isn't much she can do right now. I have 5 older half brothers who quite frankly don't care about him so its always been me and my mum looking after him (has gone through various things in the last 15 years or so. Prostate cancer which has spread to the lymph nodes, skin cancer which meant he had half his nose removed, gone blind in one eye, broken hip, the list goes on) but it's always been me and my mum.

The last couple of months, he's got worse very quick. Forgetting the majority of things we tell him and just choosing to vegetate in the living room. He's not eating, he throws food away that my mum makes for him, and has lost 3-4 stone quite quickly (now down to around 10st and looks ill). He constantly says he's done things when he hasn't, basic things like tidying up after making his own breakfast or running the vacuum around, i know this is part of the dementia but it's how angry he gets with my mum saying that she's bullying him, or torturing him by going on, when all she does is ask what he's done today (there is a white board in the kitchen with different tasks on, different things to say to alexa so he can listen to different music, it's something we were told to do as it would help trigger him doing stuff). She comes round my house 1 night a week to 'escape' and she inevitably breaks down over something he's said to her that week.

Then to today, I went round after work as I do to walk their dog and do a couple of odd things. I went in the house and i could hear him shouting at her, saying things like 'oh you've had a bad day at work so you take it out on me' and 'I don't know why you keep bullying me' things like that. Went in the living room and he tried to bring me into it but I said that she's only trying to help him be more independent and help. Instantly he starts been verbally abusive towards me, shouting about how we do nothing for him and that woman (my mum) does "**** all in this house" and now he's got two people on at him. He then followed this up with "you two have done **** all for me". This was the moment, I lost it.

Now me and my dad have never been 'close', he's never really been interested in what I do, shown much love or affection or taken me places but I've always put that down to him being an older dad. I've always been very calm and patient with him, I've tried to do my best with everything I do for him, but I just flipped. It's very rare I show emotion at the best of times but I think he got the point i was raging. I told him that the only reason he was alive was cause of my mum looking after him all these years, taking him to countless hospital appt's (he's currently on around 70-80 appointments in the last 12 months) but I started shouting at him and for 30 seconds I lost my self control. I was saying things I never thought would come out of my mouth, that if he thinks we do nothing for him then he should just **** off out of the house and try and make it to the end of the week, I just kept telling him to **** off. Next thing he started crying, saying 'none of my other boys have ever spoken to me like this why are you?!' and I said something like 'It's cause you don't even know them, they've had nothing to do with you for well over 10 years and I can see why'. And then he just switched off, blanked me, my mum didn't know what to say so i just went out with the dog for half hour to clear my head. When I left I made sure I gave him a hug and told him I loved him and I was only defending my mum, but I know he won't understand that.

I literally feel like the worst person in the world right now. I've been holding back tears since I got home, I've not told my wife 'cause she doesn't need to know any of this, she has more important things to focus on. But I shouldn't of said what I did. I love my dad to bits and would do anything for him but it feels like he's pushing me and my mum further away every week. I feel so rotten inside that I could even say those things but I snapped and it came out directed at the one person I shouldn't of directed it at. I suffered quite badly from bipolar and anxiety a few years ago and I've seen some of my old patterns creeping back in which I don't think has helped the situation but I can't blame it on that.

Sorry for the long post but just needed to put it in to words and show strangers on the internet i'm a ****.

I feel for you. I've been in a very similar position to you and your mum for the past 6 months while caring for my mother. Some days she talks to me as if I'm my father (who died 10 years ago), she constantly forgets things and thinks she's done things that she hasn't and says all manner of other odd things that tie your head in knots trying to understand. She can also get very stubborn and argumentative if I try to gently reason some of the nonsense with her so I have to just nod and smile through it. We've been through the "you do nothing to help me!" crap as well. She sometimes gets lost wandering around the house in the dark in the middle of the night but thankfully she hasn't done that for a while.

She has quite a few on-going health issues that aren't related to this (COPD, cardio myopathy, AF, some nerve stuff) and I've taken charge of ordering and dosing her meds (she isn't capable, sometimes just taking tablets or operating the Fostair inhaler is a real struggle and lengthy process even with me helping her, repeatedly talking through and demonstrating what she needs to do), do all the shopping, cooking and housework. She thinks she's fine though, and her GP hasn't been any help at all and despite me telling them everything that's going on many times, they've adopted a very hands-off approach and all investigations have ground to a halt (when I rang the GP to ask why they were giving up on her, I was told "we're here if you need us". That's the only time I really lost my temper but thankfully it was a telephone conversation). I have to keep going though because the only alternative is admitting her to a home and she doesn't want that at all, it would finish her.

Doctors have been useless, familiy have been useless, friends have been useless. I'm keeping my head above water but this has been a real eye opening experience and I'm not sure things will ever be the same again.

So yea, I wish you all the best with your dad and remember:

When you're going through hell, take plenty of sausages.

Edit: Looking at the positives, I've lost over a stone in weight, all but quit booze (I'm enjoying a beer now but haven't had more than four in a "session" since this all began) and my classic pass and Herrmann pass (and variations) are now phenominal, even if I do say so myself.

 

[Nevakonaza]

Yes, I get that a lot. Hard to deal any real lasting joy or pleasure in anything?

Yes,exactly this..have you found any way to combat this?.i really wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

 

[JonnyT]

Yes,exactly this..have you found any way to combat this?.i really wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

It's hard, there's no getting away from it. Very often, a profound what I'd call deep melancholy descends over me; everything seems futile, I feel I have no future, life has no purpose, no meaning. I class myself as a 'functioning' depression sufferer; I can get up, go to work, pay the bills and keep a roof over my head. On the other hand, I really struggle to find motivation to 'do' much, or find enjoyment in what I do.

Rather than this be just a "yeah, me too, here's my story" post, I'll try to offer some advice you might find useful. In my experience, starting anything is the most difficult thing of all; It is easy (as I know) to lie in bed or on the sofa in a numb-but-awake coma. Forcing yourself to do something is extremely difficult, but can be rewarding once you're 'into' it, and the feeling you get after completing it can make you feel happier. As an example, I was moping around on Sunday feeling miserable and alone (I live alone in a small town with only a couple of friends nearby) but somehow motivated myself to get my bike out and go for a ride for a couple of hours. Being caught up in the cycling helped distract me from my melancholy, and then the serotonin and endorphins helped lift me somewhat. When I got home, I was glad I'd done it.

It's a small thing, but find something you'd like to do - however small - and really push yourself into doing it can help lift the numbness, at least temporarily.

 

[RxR]

Has anyone ever got to a stage in their life where they feel like "empty"and dont really feel any sort of emotion anymore? ive felt like this for a few months now my mind just is blank and numb feeling.

Yep. I had anhedonia before, it was exhausting and boring and took a while to get rid of.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6368373/

In the end I got rid of it by realising my thinking (and conclusions about things at that time) were clearly impaired by being factually false (ie. pre-emptive and summary under-ratings). I did develop a specific technique at that point to get rid of it, and it went within a day or two of persistent effort.

e: I wouldn't say it's stage-of-life related, though it seemed that way too to me - it's more just a stage / symptom of chronic stress than life-milestone related. Why? I had it as a young teen for several years under very distressing circumstances, again around age 50 under an occurrence of equally - if not more - distressing circumstances.

Nb. The technique I used was simply to use mental fact-checking questions and t/f phrases about every negative assumption continuously for a couple of days.