**The Mental Health Thread**

i dont see myself as part of society tbh theres everyone else and then theres me ,just dont feel i fit in ,ive been doing my own thing for so long now i dont even try to mix with people or make friends .sometimes spend 5 days without a face to face conversation ,but its like im socially self isolating .
put in this thread as its probably a mental illness ? or as im enjoying life maybe its just a choice
maybe im on the spectrum dunno
 
moon man said:
i dont see myself as part of society tbh theres everyone else and then theres me ,just dont feel i fit in ,ive been doing my own thing for so long now i dont even try to mix with people or make friends .sometimes spend 5 days without a face to face conversation ,but its like im socially self isolating .
put in this thread as its probably a mental illness ? or as im enjoying life maybe its just a choice
maybe im on the spectrum dunno
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Your experience sounds like someone on the spectrum / 'lonely planeteer' but without the lonely. If you are, you can count yourself lucky.

I remember when I had a retired senior engineer of my acquaintance diagnosed at age 67. He wept. His whole life he thought it was just him.
 
From my personal experience talk therapy beats meds hands down. Medication is great at relieving the symptoms but doesn't always address the root cause. No judgement we all gotta choose what we think is right for us but i think you will be doing yourself a disservice by not trying it alongside. Many people have said doing both at the same time is the most effective method.
 
I've found this thread really helpful to read through. Useful to hear peoples experiences and what they are doing to help their mental health. I've had issues for as long as I can remember with what I class as high funtioning anxiety. I've always come across as a bit shy maybe even boring but these have been traits on how I've managed to deal with my mental health. I can sometimes go months without feeling down. I'm very much an introvert and find social situations with people I don't know well stressful and mentally draining. It's not too bad when I'm in social situations on my own as I can leave if it gets too much. It's much worse if I'm out with my wife to somewhere I feel socially awkward. I feel guilty dragging her home after a few hours when I feel mentally depleated. Thankfully I'm not in these situations too often.

My main issue is a form of seperation anxiety which mainly occurs when my wife is on a night out with her friends. We've been maried for 9 years and have complete trust in her so it's not like I'm worried that she's out firting with other men or anything like that. If I have enough notice that she's going out and know roughly when to expect her home I'm able to mentally prepare for it. I can find things to do for x hours and keep the negative thoughts that something bad will happen out of my head. My anxiety flairs up when something comes up for her at short notice or when she goes out and doesn't know when she'll be back.

The last time this happend was a month ago. We went to a quiz night, I was on a team with a few guys, I didn't really know and she was on a team with her friends (mums of our kids friends). I was completly expecting to do the quiz and then go home togher once it had finished as her mum was babysitting. When it finished their group decided to go to the local pub to carry on the night, they were getting quite merry by this point! I could have gone with them but decided to go home because I didn't want my mother-in-law to be up too late and that I didn't fancy going to the pub with all the mums. She said she wouldn't stay out too late so I was reasonably alright about it. Midnight passed a couple of hours later and still no sign of her. I was gettting tired and started to let all these negative thoughts that something bad will happen to her enter my head, my watch alerted me that my heart rate topped 120bpm sitting still and I started panicing. Tried calling her mobile several times but she didn't hear it to pick up. Not my finest move but next I phoned the pub she was at to get hold of her. Ironically she already had her coat on and was just about to head home anyway (no reason not to believe this as she was home soon after). She wesn't best pleased as it was undersatandably a bit embarassing for her being called over to take a call. Looking back on it I feel a bit silly as it shouldn't have been a big deal.

As I'm writing this I feel my level of anxiety starting to creep up. On Saturday she's going out for lunch with her mum friends and going to the pub after. A couple of the group are well known to get wasted and stay out all night where as the others range all the way down to going home immedately after the lunch. My wife is somewhere inbetween but the frustrating thing is that she's been unable to tell me roughly when she'll be back, it depends on what the others are doing. I find it difficult to sleep when she's out so my biggest fear is being awake half the night and having to do most of the childcare in the morning while she's feeling rough. In reality she'll probably be home before midnight and everything will be fine but it's the not knowing which I find difficult to cope with.
If she was out all the time I would really struggle but it's only once or twice a month and most of the time I know when she'll be back so I can get my head into the right place. So 99% of the time I'm completely fine. However right now there's a fight going in in my head trying to push out any negative thoughts. As long as I don't have a row with her, all will be fine again on Sunday.

To be honest I'm not sure why I'm writing my thoughts, nobody is going to have the magic bullet to "cure" me but it helped me think a bit clearer having written it all down.
 
What are these negative thoughts? What do you think she is going to be doing?

You say your trust her but every single bit of that post suggests you don't and if I was her Id be more than a little bit cheesed off at having missed calls and pubs being phoned because I'm having a couple of drinks. Why does she need to give you notice of when she should be home or is going out?
 
It's more of a worry that she'll go overboard on the drink. A while ago she told one of her friends something very personal between us while drunk. We live in a quite a close knit community and don't want the kids to find out until they are old enough to understand. It's pretty rare that she gets into that sort of state but it's always in the back of my mind when she's out.
 
Ah o your concerns aren't entirely unfounded if she has done something in the past that you are concerned about happening again which makes it a little different. That is a trust issue though even if you are aware you are blowing it out of proportion.
 
Anyone shouldering a growing burden, finding it difficult to switch off and/or needing to mentally ground themselves again may want to give this a try.

The idea behind myNoise is to use the noises you most enjoy to mask the noises you don’t want to hear: chatty colleagues, your tinnitus, or even your inner voice when you can't shut it down! The concept is simple, works extremely well, and doesn’t require expensive noise-cancelling headphones. Thanks to its sound quality and unique audio engineering, myNoise sets the standard among online background noise machines.
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I hope it helps someone.

https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/osmosisDroneGenerator.php

Edit: Worked a treat! I used the "Irish Coast" sound (in the "uses" section) and dropped-off in no time.
 
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Silent Bob said:
It's more of a worry that she'll go overboard on the drink. A while ago she told one of her friends something very personal between us while drunk. We live in a quite a close knit community and don't want the kids to find out until they are old enough to understand. It's pretty rare that she gets into that sort of state but it's always in the back of my mind when she's out.
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Firstly, tell her not to share personal details again concerning you again. If she does then she’s done something wrong. That’s not on.

However as far as you are concerned, your thoughts are not healthy at all. She’s an adult and probably wants to act like one which frankly must be hard with how clingy you sound tbh. Consider how difficult it must be for her to put up with your unnecessary worrying and appreciate her for it. Your very long post distinctly lacked any consideration for how difficult you’re making things for her with your anxiety. She cares about you enough to put up with you imperfections and that’s wonderful. Going out and having a good time with friends is normal, not dangerous and nothing at all to worry about.

Your behaviour and anxiety is not normal and probably needs professionally addressing.
 
So, I thought I’d ask in here but has anyone got any experience with being sectioned? My wife’s behaviour changed very suddenly a week ago, becoming very manic and becoming very delusional/paranoid - nothing like she is normally. Having seen the community mental health nurse a Mental Health Act assessment was carried out today and a decision was taken this afternoon to detain her under Section 2 of the Mental Health Act. They haven’t informed my wife yet as they’re trying to find a bed as they’re worried how angry/agitated she got when they discussed the possibility of a hospital stay with her earlier.

It’s all quite a lot to take in but I have no idea what the process will be when they turn up, what she can take with her (what I should pack for her), or even if I can visit. So any experiences (on either side!) would be appreciated.
 
My girlfriend did a voluntary spell as an inpatient shortly after we met. It was one of those "sign yourself in or we might do it for you" scenarios. Not her first time though. I asked her advice... She said to pack/bring:

Pyjamas, shoes without laces, comfortable trousers without drawstrings, slippers, eye masks for sleeping. A fast phone charger as often not allowed to keep charger/might be kept in nurses station when charging. Snacks are good. Earplugs. Wireless headphones maybe.

Rules will differ from place to place but she said these are fairly typical rules e.g. no laces or cables allowed, and they check on you while you're sleeping hence eye masks.

Sorry your partner has to go through this and I hope you're both doing ok. It was pretty scary for me - we'd been together maybe 4 months and like your partner, she had a big change in personality/mental health. I was visiting daily and bringing stuff - I think she was in for 4 days or so. There was a defined end to visiting hours but I did manage to get in each day and spend time with her.
 
UnLuckyBenski said:
My girlfriend did a voluntary spell as an inpatient shortly after we met. It was one of those "sign yourself in or we might do it for you" scenarios. Not her first time though. I asked her advice... She said to pack/bring:

Pyjamas, shoes without laces, comfortable trousers without drawstrings, slippers, eye masks for sleeping. A fast phone charger as often not allowed to keep charger/might be kept in nurses station when charging. Snacks are good. Earplugs. Wireless headphones maybe.

Rules will differ from place to place but she said these are fairly typical rules e.g. no laces or cables allowed, and they check on you while you're sleeping hence eye masks.

Sorry your partner has to go through this and I hope you're both doing ok. It was pretty scary for me - we'd been together maybe 4 months and like your partner, she had a big change in personality/mental health. I was visiting daily and bringing stuff - I think she was in for 4 days or so. There was a defined end to visiting hours but I did manage to get in each day and spend time with her.
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Thanks. They've just picked her up, and she went a lot more peacefully than anyone expected. Unfortunately, the nearest hospital with a bed is about a 1.5hr drive each way but I was told they're hoping to move her to a hospital down the road at the start of next week. Just hoping that they can help her out!
 
Big flare of Anxiety and feeling rough today. Has come out of nowhere really have been not to bad last few weeks. Keep sweating lots and cannot stay still just feel awful. Not sure what has caused it other than reducing prednisolone. Going to keep meds level for now and see where this goes.....
 
How is everyone doing considering current affairs?

I'm actually quite upbeat as I no longer have to commute and can sleep in a bit. But once or twice I've been left alone and had a cry on the sofa. It's stressful worrying about what we're going to do and how we can protect our loved ones.
 
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