**The Mental Health Thread**

Found out yesterday that my mental health issues could well be caused by problems with my Adrenal system. I need to have a few tests but it’s suspected I have Addison’s disease which is likely to have been caused due to my colitis and high steroid use. Ironically if I get a confirmed test it’s treated by taking steroids lifelong although a different one that’s more suited. Tbh I have no idea how to feel on one hand I’m happy I could have an answer to a lot of my issues. On the other another part of my body has possibly failed.

Will see what happens with the tests in a few weeks.
 
Katie17 said:
Most likely the doctor would prescribe an antidepressant for you - and that's okay,
not scary.
but maybe you just need to change the atmosphere for a while, relax, do not routine but favorite things)
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I pretty much do my favourite things already, surf and walk, explore Cornwall, great financially but personal life went to pot 5 years ago, I struggle with humans in general and. Drink a little too much (edit /on the 2 nights I do drink the intention is to get smashed)
 
What a great and helpful thread this is, im sure lots are benefiting from this community, it really is an eye opener to what people go through.

I could do with some advice myself, ill try and keep it short.
A family member on my partners family side suffers with mental problems (i guess depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts) they see a shrink twice a week (for about 7 years now), but as the shrink has put it they dont know how to progress them further as the FM is very clever and has a realist attitude and can see through the shrinks techniques, its also to do with their issues are so deep rooted and ingrained in her she might never get better. The family member still selfs harms, but has no intention of killing herself as she doesnt want to upset her mum or siblings (not for her own sake). They dont work (31 years old) and have something called eis (i think, benefits basicaly) which is a crap wage for them. They also live with their parents and most likely will till the parents die, then after that they will shortly go with them. Due to some bad news the parent might not be around for 5 years (hopefully wrong and could be another 50).

(Selfish part incoming)
Not sure what to do really, as me and my partner keep discussing that she will move in with us and we would look after her. Now she is a lovely person and i do see her as a sister. But i dont know how i completely feel about that, my partner does worry that i might not cope with it and we could end up splitting up which would be totally devistating to myself and partner and also her sister will feel responsabile. Now the horrible selfish thought in my head is, if she wanted to kill herself after she loses her mum then 1. how are you gonna stop someone from doing that and also 2. who are we to stop someone whos in that much mental suffering (never been through it myself) then arent we being selfish/cruel to stop her?

Big post i know (sorry), more of a vent as i cant possibly see how theres a good outcome.
 
Hope they haven't been seeing the same shrink for 7 years? If so, would it be worth trying another one if they themselves have admitted they are out of ideas?
 
Idunno said:
It is. I hate the situation I need parties, dont you?
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I don't to be honest. I am happy with the company of my wife and child, and when they aren't around I'm perfectly ok with just myself as company. Lol. I was serious when I said I don't like socialising. Its a miracle I met my wife to be honest.
 
Other than how I get my food shopping now my life hasn't really changed since pre covid :p though my mum and I were taking my brother's kids out occasionally so stopping that did have an effect on me as I was then not leaving the house at all. We took 2 of my nieces out a few weeks back for a stroll around the park. We even then braved a restaurant afterwards. it was great to be out getting some fresh air and exercise, as well as feeling like things were almost "normal" again :)

@bakes0310 apologies if I've misunderstood your post but why would you and your partner need to take in the family member if something happened to the parents?
Agree though that perhaps a change in counsellor is needed. Also, is the family member being completely open and honest to it all? It will only work if they are.
 
secretspy said:
Other than how I get my food shopping now my life hasn't really changed since pre covid :p though my mum and I were taking my brother's kids out occasionally so stopping that did have an effect on me as I was then not leaving the house at all. We took 2 of my nieces out a few weeks back for a stroll around the park. We even then braved a restaurant afterwards. it was great to be out getting some fresh air and exercise, as well as feeling like things were almost "normal" again :)

@bakes0310 apologies if I've misunderstood your post but why would you and your partner need to take in the family member if something happened to the parents?
Agree though that perhaps a change in counsellor is needed. Also, is the family member being completely open and honest to it all? It will only work if they are.
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Because she would be living by herself and would be very scared at night, also will be lonely and we need to make sure as much as we can keep an eye on her to make sure she doesnt commit suicide.
 
stop stop stop! do you have everything, as I understand it, but just not enough libvy or just someone who would be waiting at home with care? if so, believe me, everything has its time, I was alone for 5 years and it seemed that everything was fine, until one moment. if you focus on the fact that you are missing a life partner? then release and it will appear - it works. and for a start, you can get an animal, this is a little, but it pleases at home and dilutes the atmosphere, brings joy. ))
moon man said:
I pretty much do my favourite things already, surf and walk, explore Cornwall, great financially but personal life went to pot 5 years ago, I struggle with humans in general and. Drink a little too much (edit /on the 2 nights I do drink the intention is to get smashed)
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Anyone else have sudden fear of death that pops in your head? I've felt like that for a long time, I can forget about it for long periods then out of nowhere BAM it's like sudden fear that just flows through my body. Fear of the unknown, fear of what you'll be thinking about, or feeling when it happens. It can be overwhelming.

Due to a sudden recent death of someone I know/knew I can't get the thoughts out of my head and I can feel it really eroding my mental health state.
 
McBain said:
Anyone else have sudden fear of death that pops in your head? I've felt like that for a long time, I can forget about it for long periods then out of nowhere BAM it's like sudden fear that just flows through my body. Fear of the unknown, fear of what you'll be thinking about, or feeling when it happens. It can be overwhelming.

Due to a sudden recent death of someone I know/knew I can't get the thoughts out of my head and I can feel it really eroding my mental health state.
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Yeah I get that and mine did get worse after my dad passed away to the point I was stressing about everything. Not necessarily about dying/death but stressing to make everything perfect. My ex said to me "You try so hard to make things perfect, I.e. holiday that you don't actually take the time to enjoy it" and he was right.

It's eased now though certain things will trigger that feeling which then goes back into stressing over not wanting to waste life and wishing for things to happen sooner :o lol
 
I used to have a curiosity with death all the time but i had a bad accident a few years and had a near-death experience where i was gone, but only for a minute or something but it was the most serene, relaxing experience i've had in my life. When i was brought too i couldn't believe it was such a short space of time. Not been bothered about it since then

Fingers crossed the permanent versions the same :D
 
I've had a big boost now I know I'm cleared to start my new job, but that will bring it's own anxieties, new place and people etc. I think overall I'll be glad for some routine again.
 
McBain said:
Anyone else have sudden fear of death that pops in your head? I've felt like that for a long time, I can forget about it for long periods then out of nowhere BAM it's like sudden fear that just flows through my body. Fear of the unknown, fear of what you'll be thinking about, or feeling when it happens. It can be overwhelming.

Due to a sudden recent death of someone I know/knew I can't get the thoughts out of my head and I can feel it really eroding my mental health state.
Click to expand...

Almost 3 years ago to the day I posted in here about my struggles, i've quoted the post below. 10/10/2017 was the date.

I had CBT for about 9 months following my eventual doctors appointment and while i got through it, I still live with the impending nihilism and hopelessness that none of us get out of life alive and it's ultimately futile. Therapy helped me focus on right now and not thinking ahead too much...i'm better than I was 3 years ago, however that darkness is there in the back of my mind and I think about dying at least once a day :(

Quote below, I bolded the most relevant part.

SixTwoSix said:
I'm kinda glad this thread appears as i'm in a weird state at the moment. I've been wrestling whether to see a doctor about it for a few weeks now or just "weather the storm". I've really struggled to explain how I feel to a few close friends and finally yesterday, my wife. The only way I can put it is it's like when you've had a few drinks and there is that filter and feel of nothing being quite real, except without the drunkenness. I can have days where i'm milling around work not talking to a soul and lost in my head to being really happy and talking folks ears off the next. I'm reasonably introverted in person until I know people well and am normally happiest in my own company with the exception of maybe 5/6 very good friends.

I'm finding myself thinking about my own death a lot, not suicidally, just in that how/when i'll die, that there probably isn't anything after it and it's all a bit futile, then i'll get pre-occuipied with a movie/game/drink and block it out. If I follow the thoughts through to the logical conclusion about my death and then no longer existing, I border on having a panic attack and feel violently sick.

I had a son 5 months ago and I wonder whether i'm just tired and worn out, I felt everything I described above for years prior to his birth but it's become more and more intense day by day. I was at work yesterday and just suddenly had tears in my eyes for no reason. Each day I come home and he's at the point where he's smiling when he sees me, then for about 30 minutes or so I wonder why I was so down, then the feeling sneak back before i've even been home an hour.

I've got a good job, I have solid sick pay, I know I could take time off "for my head" if I needed to but I don't even know how to broach the subject with my manager or HR, I feel like they'll just immediately assume i'm taking the pee and want some paid time off. My job is fairly independent, I work in an office but i'm left to my own devices 99% of the time, as long as I do what's needed i'm rarely bothered, they know i'm self motivated and do what's required.

I've rambled on enough and don't even know if I said what I set out to, feels better to get it "on paper". Now it's time to man up and go to work and put that smile on for everyone :D
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SixTwoSix said:
Almost 3 years ago to the day I posted in here about my struggles, i've quoted the post below. 10/10/2017 was the date.

I had CBT for about 9 months following my eventual doctors appointment and while i got through it, I still live with the impending nihilism and hopelessness that none of us get out of life alive and it's ultimately futile. Therapy helped me focus on right now and not thinking ahead too much...i'm better than I was 3 years ago, however that darkness is there in the back of my mind and I think about dying at least once a day :(

Quote below, I bolded the most relevant part.
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Thanks for sharing, I feel exactly the same way about pretty much everything you've said re: my own death. I've had CBT previously but that was more around trying to deal with health anxiety, thankfully I have some more coming up and i'm going to touch upon the whole death thing, I seem to dwell on it far too much.
 
McBain said:
Thanks for sharing, I feel exactly the same way about pretty much everything you've said re: my own death. I've had CBT previously but that was more around trying to deal with health anxiety, thankfully I have some more coming up and i'm going to touch upon the whole death thing, I seem to dwell on it far too much.
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I genuinely envy people with religious beliefs to an extent, they have a safety blanket of sorts with belief of heaven/afterlife and don't go through this kind of existential angst.

I had CBT alongside anti depressants and anti anxiety medication, the meds stabilised me to work through my mental issues.

I'm generally much better than I was and functional on a day to day level but it's there lingering. This little video below helped me a bit around the time.

 
my psycholosh told me - we are and are our fears and we must share this!
McBain said:
Anyone else have sudden fear of death that pops in your head? I've felt like that for a long time, I can forget about it for long periods then out of nowhere BAM it's like sudden fear that just flows through my body. Fear of the unknown, fear of what you'll be thinking about, or feeling when it happens. It can be overwhelming.

Due to a sudden recent death of someone I know/knew I can't get the thoughts out of my head and I can feel it really eroding my mental health state.
Click to expand...
 
Well, I spoke to an online GP (through private health insurance via work) last week about an eye infection. She picked up on some mental health issues worth an assessment and asked to follow up. In the end she gave me a referral to a psychiatrist for a general assessment and maybe adult ADHD diagnosis. Boy did I get my hopes up of getting somewhere, after feeling listened to like that.

Passed the referral letter to the insurer and they said I have an exclusion on "any investigations and treatment related to psychiatric troubles". I mentioned depression in my original paperwork, though I've never been diagnosed with anything.

So there we go, brick wall. They also refused to cover my referral to an ophthalmologist for further assessment of the eye infection as "A GP should treat this in a primary care setting".

In my experience it's impossible to get a GP appointment, even pre-covid. That was the entire reason I opted for the healthcare scheme!

I feel worse than if I had never spoken to anyone. Proper kick in the teeth.
 
In an atheistic society its amazing to think everything keeps operating really. More and more in the media and pop culture we now talk about "Mental health" but never really about the elephant in the room, the big picture, our predicament and place in the universe.

For the most part it seems we want to be distracted from reality, I love forgetting, either by placing myself into a narrative or simply by keeping busy and preoccupied.

I think for most people their children are a bit of a relief, their life gets a direction and can basically become about someone else. But of course childhood is short lived, soon the child become an adult with no real purpose and the process usually starts again. For what end nobody wants to talk about. Death isn't the big taboo in society, in my opinion it's life.

I wouldn't say I was depressed, but I'm definitely stoic and indifferent a lot of the time. I've never seen a therapist because I'm fine with myself, but what I would want to talk to one about is how they make peace with the overall predicament. Has anyone ever brought up the big questions with a paid professional? I just can't imagine what they could say? I imagine all their help would simply be about finding more and better ways to distract yourself?
 
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