**The Mental Health Thread**

[dhill]

@dhill Sounds like talking therapy might be a good shout for you right now? Just something than can help you talk through what you're feeling and deal with it a little better.

Some larger employers offer some services (run by 3rd party organisations) that may be available to you if you can't get anything through the NHS or privately?

I only work for a tiny company, I'm the 5th member of staff....so not any benefits or services like that, at least not that I'm aware of anyway.

Fortunately I've know the company and the owner for 18+ years or so now, but doesn't make it any easier to have that kind of conversation with them.

 

[Scottland]

I only work for a tiny company, I'm the 5th member of staff....so not any benefits or services like that, at least not that I'm aware of anyway.

Fortunately I've know the company and the owner for 18+ years or so now, but doesn't make it any easier to have that kind of conversation with them.

Yeah smaller companies likely won't unless you have a health care plan. But still have a look at the various forms of talking therapies, anything will likely take an age via the NHS but there might be something online/telephone based you could try if you don't want to (or can't) pay for private therapy.

 

[dhill]

Yeah smaller companies likely won't unless you have a health care plan. But still have a look at the various forms of talking therapies, anything will likely take an age via the NHS but there might be something online/telephone based you could try if you don't want to (or can't) pay for private therapy.

Appreciate the advice buddy, thank you

 

[Bassmansam]

I was diagnosed with depression probably two years or so ago now. My mental health (or lack of) was starting to effect my home life big time, so plucked up the courage to go and see the doc after not really knowing what was going on with myself and just burying my head in the sand.

Was on anti depressants for a good few months maybe even close to a year, and tried CBT for a couple of session. But they really did nothing for me at all, so stopped going, I had no chance up calls or anything. Eventually I stopped taking the meds as I felt so much better in myself, probably more due to the fact that I actually knew what was wrong and how to deal with it.

But since starting a new job at the start of October 2020, I'm constantly putting to much pressure on myself to perform (thinking I should know more than I do, and questioning myself as to whether I'm the right persion for the job etc) and impress during my 6 month probation period. Which is just causing more stress for myself, and ended up in A&E just before Xmas with chest pains. Fortunately the hospital said that there was nothing wrong with my heart, and said that it was probably just muscular. But after doing some further reasearch online (probably the worst thing to do), I think the chest pains may have been caused by stress/ anxiety from the new job.

So not generally in a great place at the moment, as I don't know how best to deal with things right now and don't want to let my new employer down!?

i used to get chest pains around the chest but they wouldnt last long. Thats generally a sign of anxiety but i still worried about it until i had an ecg and a doc explained why anxiety caused those pains. I don’t get them anymore

 

[McBain]

Out of interest what was the doctors explanation @Bassmansam? I’ve seen multiple GPs about chest pain and not a single one has explained how it can be caused by anxiety.

 

[secretspy]

Out of interest what was the doctors explanation @Bassmansam? I’ve seen multiple GPs about chest pain and not a single one has explained how it can be caused by anxiety.

Was going to ask the same thing. I'm not so bad now but I occasionally get a tight chest when really stressed out.

Have had 2 ECGs in the last few years along with blood tests so it was always put down as likely to be stress/anxiety but never really explained why

 

[MOOGLEYS]

I was told it’s part of the fight or flight mechanism. Your body tightens chest muscles to protect you and to raise blood pressure. The muscles can get damaged in the response and cause chest and rib pain.

 

[Bassmansam]

Out of interest what was the doctors explanation @Bassmansam? I’ve seen multiple GPs about chest pain and not a single one has explained how it can be caused by anxiety.

she said it was to do with tension of the muscles in your chest. She was a cardiologist and it was part of one of those health screening tests you can do in private hospitals. I think i was there about 3 hours while they did all kinds of tests to give a body “mot”.

 

[FoxEye]

Out of interest what was the doctors explanation @Bassmansam? I’ve seen multiple GPs about chest pain and not a single one has explained how it can be caused by anxiety.

I've been to see the GP about chronic itching, that mostly manifests itself at night.

Without doing any tests, they just went straight to the "it's stress" explanation.

Oh and take antihistamines for the rest of your life, one a day, they're perfectly safe.

Never did find out what causes the itching. It comes and goes. If I don't take the antihistamines before bedding down, then in my sleep, or while semi-conscious, I can end up scratching till I draw blood. Not pretty the next day

 

[Bassmansam]

I've been to see the GP about chronic itching, that mostly manifests itself at night.

Without doing any tests, they just went straight to the "it's stress" explanation.

Oh and take antihistamines for the rest of your life, one a day, they're perfectly safe.

Never did find out what causes the itching. It comes and goes. If I don't take the antihistamines before bedding down, then in my sleep, or while semi-conscious, I can end up scratching till I draw blood. Not pretty the next day

thats so strange, a few years ago my dad had the same thing “ an itch he couldnt scratch”. He was back and forth to the gp a few times but ultimately it was stress and it went away eventually.

 

[Terminal_Boy]

I've been to see the GP about chronic itching, that mostly manifests itself at night.

Without doing any tests, they just went straight to the "it's stress" explanation.

Oh and take antihistamines for the rest of your life, one a day, they're perfectly safe.

Never did find out what causes the itching. It comes and goes. If I don't take the antihistamines before bedding down, then in my sleep, or while semi-conscious, I can end up scratching till I draw blood. Not pretty the next day

Have you had an allergen test?

 

[FoxEye]

Have you had an allergen test?

Nope. Wasn't offered.

 

[secretspy]

I developed eczema due to severe stress when my dad was sick. After he passed away it disappeared. I used to get really itchy legs and hips weirdly, now I only get it occasionally but not sure if that's because my diet is different now. I've read if you get itchy arms and the skin almost looks like chicken skin, it could be a sign of a gluten intolerance. (For me I did have an issue with gluten so rarely get the itching now) Unfortunately a lot of doctors don't seem interested in allergy tests you have to really push for it sometimes. I had no luck so went elsewhere in the end.

It could also just be dry skin

 

[Terminal_Boy]

Nope. Wasn't offered.

Might be worth getting a private clinic to run one for you.

My eldest had some very erratic reactions that we could never quite pin down which turned out to be due to raw carrots which she ate very occasionally in supermarket salads.

Test results : It’s raw carrots.

Daughter : I don’t eat raw carrots.

Mum : You told me you had a layered salad from Boots the other day and they have raw carrot in them.

Daughter : ****’s sake!

 

[Ayahuasca]

It's pretty nuts the number of ways stress, in particular, chronic stress can present itself.

 

[Orangeade]

This is a very useful thread. Nice to be able to vent without alarming people.

I'm finding myself increasingly stressed. I work in a high pressure derivative trading environment where I constantly feel on the edge. I'm managing a large global team and whilst not young (over 30 under 35) I feel like I'm somewhat a fraud. I struggle to understand some of the concepts that others seem to grasp easily, and I'm definitely not giving a good enough "strategic" viewpoint. This worries me as my performance reviews have been very positive but I don't feel secure in my job.

Since being in the job I've been working 100 hour weeks and still barely keeping on top of things. I've noticed that I'm definitely losing hair, definitely turning grey as well. Had the same issues with the tight chest and sleep isn't good. Also had covid which has left me fatigued but nothing that can be done there... I would much rather a less stressful job but probably not qualified for anything else outside of finance. And I was seduced by the paycheck which is very hard to walk away from. I feel like a coward in not being able to let it go.

On top of this I am now single after a very long time. Was a disappointing end and there is a lot of regret there.

I'm not the most charming or good looking chap in the world. I met a lovely lady recently, many times out of my pay grade in terms of looks and how interesting she is who expressed an interest in me, and we hit it off. But now I'm not sure how to sustain the momentum. Don't want it to end with a whimper.

Oh and my father had another heart attack. Turns out they bodged the last stent they put in. Doing better but plays on the mind. His dad died very young so guessing my innings ain't gonna be the best!

So yeah, need to manage my stress better and make life better.

 

[Orangeade]

Literally only here on this forum. Which probably doesn't count

Can I offer a suggestion that maybe this should be rectified in the new year? Challenging environment in which to do it but I think it would make a material difference. Maybe ease yourself into it with some online groups that do video calls or whatever and then move onto things like meetup etc.

I understand it would be difficult and truthfully most people are fairly banal. But it is merely a question of practice. I used to be quite bad and just forced myself into such situations. Still not very graceful but sufficient enough to get by. Once you've done this for a while maybe consider online dating? You come across as quite literate so I'm sure you'll be able to hold people's interests well. Could be a good way to start getting into a routine of fitness and grooming as well (as much as I loathe the concept). Start doing pull ups pushups etc

Who knows how it will go.

 

[Chrisc]

I was diagnosed with depression probably two years or so ago now. My mental health (or lack of) was starting to effect my home life big time, so plucked up the courage to go and see the doc after not really knowing what was going on with myself and just burying my head in the sand.

Was on anti depressants for a good few months maybe even close to a year, and tried CBT for a couple of session. But they really did nothing for me at all, so stopped going, I had no chance up calls or anything. Eventually I stopped taking the meds as I felt so much better in myself, probably more due to the fact that I actually knew what was wrong and how to deal with it.

But since starting a new job at the start of October 2020, I'm constantly putting to much pressure on myself to perform (thinking I should know more than I do, and questioning myself as to whether I'm the right persion for the job etc) and impress during my 6 month probation period. Which is just causing more stress for myself, and ended up in A&E just before Xmas with chest pains. Fortunately the hospital said that there was nothing wrong with my heart, and said that it was probably just muscular. But after doing some further reasearch online (probably the worst thing to do), I think the chest pains may have been caused by stress/ anxiety from the new job.

So not generally in a great place at the moment, as I don't know how best to deal with things right now and don't want to let my new employer down!?

Jesus,

This honestly felt like id wrote it myself. Im fortunate that when i was diagnosed with depression years ago, I opted for healthy eating and exercise and i left the tablets alone. the problem is that when you feel like you're slipping into the same mindset, its incredibly difficult to drum up the motivation to get exercising and eating healthy. I too ended up in A&E a month or so ago with chest pains, work has been stressful and i was put in charge of the branch, i too also put a ridiculous amount of pressure on myself, asking myself whether im good enough to do the job. As it happens ive accepted a lower position elsewhere but for more money so ive jumped at it and i feel confident. But i know ill be in the same mindset when i get there and probably put more pressure on myself.

As well as my mild mental health issues i experience ive also had 1 week off since October 2019 and even then id have to log in or deal with issues. So i also feel worn out and in desperate need of a break.

ive decided ill be downloading the Couch to 5k app so i have a focus on a goal. ill report back with how i get on with it.

 

[McBain]

Thanks to those who replied to me.

@secretspy @FoxEye @Bassmansam @MOOGLEYS

 

[FoxEye]

Can I offer a suggestion that maybe this should be rectified in the new year? Challenging environment in which to do it but I think it would make a material difference. Maybe ease yourself into it with some online groups that do video calls or whatever and then move onto things like meetup etc.

I understand it would be difficult and truthfully most people are fairly banal. But it is merely a question of practice. I used to be quite bad and just forced myself into such situations. Still not very graceful but sufficient enough to get by. Once you've done this for a while maybe consider online dating? You come across as quite literate so I'm sure you'll be able to hold people's interests well. Could be a good way to start getting into a routine of fitness and grooming as well (as much as I loathe the concept). Start doing pull ups pushups etc

Who knows how it will go.

Suggestions are always welcome. You mentioned banal... You know what my #1 fear is? Honestly?

Well, my #1 fear (apart from Thatcher being reincarnated) is that I'm just terribly boring. Like, the most boring person in the known universe.

Which is one of the major reasons I'm not online dating I don't want to bore anyone to death. "Girls just wanna have fu-un! Oh girls, they wanna have fu-un (Wanna, Wanna have fun, Just wanna, Wanna have fun)"

Dammit now I've got that song in my head.