The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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An Arab Prince by the sounds of it.
Sorry, but if a girl is not like "cant wait to see you etc etc" then its done.
Doesnt matter on the "circumstances" or whatever "justifications" people may use... listen to this....
"im tired", "im working so hard" blah blah... its just excuses. If she is not as excited to see you as you are to see her, only one thing is ever going to happen here
This is what I thought.
A girl will move heaven and earth to see a guy she wants to, if you're getting lame excuses, especially early on in a relationship, she's not that into you.
My spidey senses are tingling tbh.....
Soldato
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I hate the fact that we can't choose who we fall in love with, and falling out of love is difficult.
Soldato
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It's all in this thread somewhere.
My relationship ended in June to a girl who I loved and the reason for the break up was I didn't earn enough money essentially. I'd given up everything to be with the girl, literally moved from one island to another leaving friends and family behind. Was there for 3 months living with her before she decided I didn't earn enough money "to give her the life she wanted" - she wants a guy earning 70k+. She claimed to still love me etc but long term it wouldn't work apparently.
If I landed the 70k+ a year job I wouldn't want to get back with her, I'd never fully trust someone who's materialistic and money motivated - what happens if the millionaire comes along? But that doesn't stop me loving and yearning for her as a person, we connected very well.
I moved back to Guernsey at the beginning of August, have dated countless women, slept with a stupid amount in that time frame but I just don't feel anything for any of them.
My relationship ended in June to a girl who I loved and the reason for the break up was I didn't earn enough money essentially. I'd given up everything to be with the girl, literally moved from one island to another leaving friends and family behind. Was there for 3 months living with her before she decided I didn't earn enough money "to give her the life she wanted" - she wants a guy earning 70k+. She claimed to still love me etc but long term it wouldn't work apparently.
If I landed the 70k+ a year job I wouldn't want to get back with her, I'd never fully trust someone who's materialistic and money motivated - what happens if the millionaire comes along? But that doesn't stop me loving and yearning for her as a person, we connected very well.
I moved back to Guernsey at the beginning of August, have dated countless women, slept with a stupid amount in that time frame but I just don't feel anything for any of them.
Soldato
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Yeah, her mother planted toxic seeds from a very young age, I put weed killer on them but the mother then put miracle grow on them when she decided to settle with me.
It's the way she's been brought up and what she expects from life and, foolishly, seems to think she deserves from life.
It's the way she's been brought up and what she expects from life and, foolishly, seems to think she deserves from life.
Just feed the mother the weed killer next time.
You're still attached to the fantasy of this woman in your head, so you can't move forwards. The fact is, she dumped you because she couldn't stand up to her mother, she didn't love you enough. Life with her would have been a nightmare because of her mother and as you say, it would have ended up being all about the money and lifestyle. For people like that, nothing is ever good enough. She broke your heart in a few months, why do you think she would have made you happy for a lifetime? You're thinking about things backwards.
Get over the pedestal you've put this woman on. You think she was perfect, but her actions showed otherwise. You're conveniently ignoring the reasons you broke up, which showed she was not worth your time. Until you understand this, you won't move on and find someone who actually wants to be with you.
Stop romanticising the past, move on to the future.
Females like that are the ones who end up, old, lonely and miserable.
Fighting for mens attention against other girls who are half their age and dress size. It would have torn you down later on in life even if you was on 70k+. Busting all sorts of hours of the day, just to keep her financially happy by spending your own hard earned cash.
What job did she do? I bet it wasn't no where near 40k never mind 70k.
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This mother story is just ridiculous.
Its the ultimate excuse from a woman who just wasnt that into you, and she was trying not to hurt you.
Any woman who really, really wants you, wouldnt give a damn what her mother thinks. This is a fact. Just look at the countless stories of women/girls who basically pretty much disown their parents to be with their crush/whatever. Parental approval is way down the list.
What is with all the reality denial here? "oh she couldnt be with me because of her mother" Like if she didnt have her mother everything would be paradise?! NEWSFLASH Even you were earning 70k and her mother spotaneously combusted, you still ain't getting that clam action.
Normally if a parent disapproves, it makes the girl MORE attracted to the person, in this instance, she was not even attracted enough for that effect to manifest itself.
Seriously, sometimes guys just need the truth once in a while.
When a girl is really into a guy, properly, the only thing that would get in the way would be an ocean or a brick wall.
There is far too much of this "she likes me, but......" going on.
If she likes you, something actually happens, if she don't, it wont.
Dunno how many times people need to experience the same story before it sinks in. Its ok though, same happened to me before I woke up and realised!
You have to go through the pain and the emotions before this stuff clicks. I speak from experience with soft rejection and being a pussy when I was younger. It never works. Women are attracted to strength, its in their DNA, like I said before, if they sense any weakness or you turn into a pleaser instead of being true to yourself, games already over, and only a few percent ever come back from that.
I should be charging for this advice... .... you know the best way to man the hell up and develop those all important strength and social skills? Go travelling. I dont mean some lame lads holiday in some dodgy hole, I mean proper long term travelling in crazy places like Bosnia, Kosovo, Eastern Europe, where you meet many, many many girls/women/anyone, and the intensity of new faces and new women almost daily, and the social pressure of getting to know people in such an accelerated and concentrated period of time, really sharpens up your man skills, and as your confidence grows, so does your "I dont give a ***k" attitude. Once you are of the mindset in your head that "Oh she isnt into me, ok, no problem, honey if you change your mind gimme a call, but I'll move onto the next person who enjoys me" then everything will come good and girls will automatically be more attracted to you by default.
Its funny, even one of my female friends once said to me when I was down about a SERIOUSLY messy break up, she actually said, "BITCH PLEASE" as she had had enough of my pathetic fixation with my ex and being so beta. I could tell even my close female friend was losing respect for me as a man with all the analysis, complaining, what ifs blah blah. Its not interesting, its not relevant, and she couldnt understand why I wasnt out there making the most of life and concentrating on women who WERE into me instead of ones who couldnt give a ****
Like I said in one of my previous posts, I think, a woman recently was complaining how bored she was with her boyfriend, she didnt want to marry him, she wasnt excited by him, and she was looking for ANYway out of the situation. He was a pleaser, nothing edgy, nothing challenging, and she even said to me, "I want to be dominated" She just was not interested in someone who was weak, and was just happy being with her forever.
I once made the mistake of being "too nice" and being in the situation where I was worried if I said the wrong thing that she might get offended.... ROFL, it had the opposite effect to me getting into her pants.....She ended up getting with her flatmate who was an utter moron.
You have to go through these things to learn the lessons properly though, you cant really fake it, you have to BELIEVE it and understand it.
Its the ultimate excuse from a woman who just wasnt that into you, and she was trying not to hurt you.
Any woman who really, really wants you, wouldnt give a damn what her mother thinks. This is a fact. Just look at the countless stories of women/girls who basically pretty much disown their parents to be with their crush/whatever. Parental approval is way down the list.
What is with all the reality denial here? "oh she couldnt be with me because of her mother" Like if she didnt have her mother everything would be paradise?! NEWSFLASH Even you were earning 70k and her mother spotaneously combusted, you still ain't getting that clam action.
Normally if a parent disapproves, it makes the girl MORE attracted to the person, in this instance, she was not even attracted enough for that effect to manifest itself.
Seriously, sometimes guys just need the truth once in a while.
When a girl is really into a guy, properly, the only thing that would get in the way would be an ocean or a brick wall.
There is far too much of this "she likes me, but......" going on.
If she likes you, something actually happens, if she don't, it wont.
Dunno how many times people need to experience the same story before it sinks in. Its ok though, same happened to me before I woke up and realised!
You have to go through the pain and the emotions before this stuff clicks. I speak from experience with soft rejection and being a pussy when I was younger. It never works. Women are attracted to strength, its in their DNA, like I said before, if they sense any weakness or you turn into a pleaser instead of being true to yourself, games already over, and only a few percent ever come back from that.
I should be charging for this advice... .... you know the best way to man the hell up and develop those all important strength and social skills? Go travelling. I dont mean some lame lads holiday in some dodgy hole, I mean proper long term travelling in crazy places like Bosnia, Kosovo, Eastern Europe, where you meet many, many many girls/women/anyone, and the intensity of new faces and new women almost daily, and the social pressure of getting to know people in such an accelerated and concentrated period of time, really sharpens up your man skills, and as your confidence grows, so does your "I dont give a ***k" attitude. Once you are of the mindset in your head that "Oh she isnt into me, ok, no problem, honey if you change your mind gimme a call, but I'll move onto the next person who enjoys me" then everything will come good and girls will automatically be more attracted to you by default.
Its funny, even one of my female friends once said to me when I was down about a SERIOUSLY messy break up, she actually said, "BITCH PLEASE" as she had had enough of my pathetic fixation with my ex and being so beta. I could tell even my close female friend was losing respect for me as a man with all the analysis, complaining, what ifs blah blah. Its not interesting, its not relevant, and she couldnt understand why I wasnt out there making the most of life and concentrating on women who WERE into me instead of ones who couldnt give a ****
Like I said in one of my previous posts, I think, a woman recently was complaining how bored she was with her boyfriend, she didnt want to marry him, she wasnt excited by him, and she was looking for ANYway out of the situation. He was a pleaser, nothing edgy, nothing challenging, and she even said to me, "I want to be dominated" She just was not interested in someone who was weak, and was just happy being with her forever.
I once made the mistake of being "too nice" and being in the situation where I was worried if I said the wrong thing that she might get offended.... ROFL, it had the opposite effect to me getting into her pants.....She ended up getting with her flatmate who was an utter moron.
You have to go through these things to learn the lessons properly though, you cant really fake it, you have to BELIEVE it and understand it.
Last edited:
Soldato
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Surprsingly enough she was earning 50k herself when we split, she was once an accountant but moved to being a PA to a millionaire businessman but works from his home in a "big sister" role to the whole family. I was going to type a load of things about her job / lifestyle here but there's really no point - deleted and redacted to; Basically she lives the high life vicariously through the wealth of the family she works for, private jet holidays, rubbing shoulders with wealthy businessmen etc etc.
I think you've got it slightly twisted in this instance TrafficMaster, it's not a case of forbidden love, it's about me not being able to provide a life her mother groomed her for, and that's what she wants in her life too.
And on the other side of the world of relationships 
Just been dumped by a guy I'd been seeing for a while.
He'd been a bit distant a few weeks back (mixture of work stress and moving house) so I was sort of expecting it then, even though he kept apologising for being busy.
Instead, he reappeared and was better than ever. We were texting tons for the past couple of weeks. Had two great and very romantic dates in the past week. Never ran out of things to talk about. The last date was on Sunday. Continued texting each day with seemingly no problems.
Texted him last night to see if he wanted to do something tonight as he said he might be around. Got a long text back explaining he's not 'feeling' it but that he really enjoys my company and still wants to meet up with me. Just not romantically.
We hadn't slept together yet so he's not being a player (and he's fairly insecure anyway) but still bleh.
Just been dumped by a guy I'd been seeing for a while.
He'd been a bit distant a few weeks back (mixture of work stress and moving house) so I was sort of expecting it then, even though he kept apologising for being busy.
Instead, he reappeared and was better than ever. We were texting tons for the past couple of weeks. Had two great and very romantic dates in the past week. Never ran out of things to talk about. The last date was on Sunday. Continued texting each day with seemingly no problems.
Texted him last night to see if he wanted to do something tonight as he said he might be around. Got a long text back explaining he's not 'feeling' it but that he really enjoys my company and still wants to meet up with me. Just not romantically.
We hadn't slept together yet so he's not being a player (and he's fairly insecure anyway) but still bleh.
You forgot Hungary and Serbia. The women in those countries put the women in the UK to shame...but its not about that right now
But yes, I agree with you there TrafficMaster.