I'll try and answer some of your points here Steve.
SSD's do nothing for performance once you are flying...they only speed up the initial loading process - (the bit with the progress bar before you jump into the cockpit) - they make ZERO difference to texture loading times and "smoothness" of graphics.
With regards to your FPS dropping in built up areas - well you will just have to make compromises with the sliders - building and vegetation autogen density and shadows effect performance the most in P3Dv2, experiment with these until you find the balance of eyecandy and performance that best suits you (you can have everything unfortunately)
The autogen building slowloading textures is the engine showing the limits of your 7950 gfx card - either ease back on the autogen density or buy a GTX780Ti
Also P3Dv2 is still only a 32-bit application - as such it can only address a maximum 4Gb of memory or VAS (virtual address space) - basically it can't utilize more than 4Gb of system memory - this is why you are getting out of memory (commonly referred to as OOM's). Urban areas with lots of autogen and complex addons and sliders all pushed to the right will break the 32-bit memory barrier - adjust your slider settings to compensate.
It can however use much more VRAM (graphics card memory) than FSX thanks to the new DX11 engine - this is a MAJOR benefit of the new engine in P3Dv2
To sum up - if you intend to use hi-definition complex addons you will have to make compromises on the slider settings, or buy a more powerful gfx card to help you achieve your performance targets - you could also overclock your CPU a bit more if you wanted more system grunt