The worlds WORST jokes in here please.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks
are too high."

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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have
a look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he
checks his teeth. Finally, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".
 
A man's walking along a beach, when he spots a particularly shiny shell. He rubs it and 2 genies appear. They grant him 3 wishes. He makes them then walks on home.

As he arrives home there's a huge mansion where his house once stood, "sweet" thinks the man, "wish number 1!". He walks in and is immediately greeted by 10 horny playboy bunnies, "fantastic, wish number 2" he thinks with a big grin on his face.

Then there's a knock at the door. He opens it and 2 figures stand all in white with pointy hoods over their faces. They grab him, tar him, feather him, throw a noose over his neck and hang him from the nearest tree. Then the 2 hooded figures take down their hoods; its the two genies. One says to the other, "I can understand the first two wishes, but why he wanted to be hung like a black man I'll never know."

:D
 
A boy and his dad are walking along a mountain trail in the US, when they see a native american sitting on a rock. His dad says "Native americans have incredible memories." So the boy walks upto him and asks, "what did you have for breakfast Tuesday?" "Eggs" the native replies. And they walk on.

30 years pass, and the boy is walking up the same trail with his own son, when they spot the same native sitting on the same rock. Amazed, he approaches him and raises his hand and says, "How" to which the native replies, "Scrambled".

:o
 
The_Sophisticate said:
A man's walking along a beach, when he spots a particularly shiny shell. He rubs it and 2 genies appear. They grant him 3 wishes. He makes them then walks on home.

As he arrives home there's a huge mansion where his house once stood, "sweet" thinks the man, "wish number 1!". He walks in and is immediately greeted by 10 horny playboy bunnies, "fantastic, wish number 2" he thinks with a big grin on his face.

Then there's a knock at the door. He opens it and 2 figures stand all in white with pointy hoods over their faces. They grab him, tar him, feather him, throw a noose over his neck and hang him from the nearest tree. Then the 2 hooded figures take down their hoods; its the two genies. One says to the other, "I can understand the first two wishes, but why he wanted to be hung like a black man I'll never know."

:D
Click to expand...

Three wishes, eh? Better Nate than Lever....
 
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