Unmarried living together split after 18 years sorting finances

TJM said:
Your friend should speak to a domestic abuse charity, who will be able to advise her on reporting the partner to the police for controlling or coercive behaviour.
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It's not really controlling just weired. Most other women would not stand for it but she lost her parents and a baby in quick succession, her best friend died of cancer and about the only other person she knows (other than me and the wife) has mental issues.. (50yr old woman lied down in tescos and was screaming on the floor)

He does not really tell her what she can or cannot do he just moans and complains and takes all the money!.. Up until recently she should it was ok!
 
aardvark said:
i would imagine she gets 50% of everything
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Nope. That protection is only in place if you're married. Water gets muddied if there are children involved if the father has adoption rights (you can't look after the kids for a bit then be hit for it in the UK).

For any asset in the gents name they she has no claims to it. At all. Jointly owned means 50-50 unless you have gone via tenants in common.

There is a reason couples historically want to get married as it provides a huge amount of protection for the more vulnerable member in the case of a split.

It's not going to be a nice breakup... :(
 
rawuk said:
Nope. That protection is only in place if you're married. Water gets muddied if there are children involved if the father has adoption rights (you can't look after the kids for a bit then be hit for it in the UK).

For any asset in the gents name they she has no claims to it. At all. Jointly owned means 50-50 unless you have gone via tenants in common.

There is a reason couples historically want to get married as it provides a huge amount of protection for the more vulnerable member in the case of a split.

It's not going to be a nice breakup... :(
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i thought they changed the cohabitation rules so its the same as marriage?

i think i'm wrong though after some googling
 
aardvark said:
i thought they changed the cohabitation rules so its the same as marriage?
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Yeah - you are always hearing about “common law marriages” and there’s no such thing
It’s like some sort of zombie idea that won’t die because it’s constantly referred to
In the eyes of the law you are either married or not
There’s no other way of obtaining the rights under marriage except to get married (+ civil partnership)
 
aardvark said:
i thought they changed the cohabitation rules so its the same as marriage?

i think i'm wrong though after some googling
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Pipe & Slippers is right. There's a lot of myths that go around the "Hairdressers" and unfortunately, or fortunately depending upon your perspective, that is one of them.

I always have to correct my friends who think they have ownership of property after being in it for a 6+ months. It's simply false. You may be able to argue beneficial interests however honestly unless you have years it's not likely at all.
 
Two sides to every story remember.

Zero point in speculating or otherwise on what will/won't happen.

As someone already has said - only winners here are the solicitors/lawyers in this case.

No clear cut answers what so every as to who gets what, it's all about proof. what can you prove was yours/mine etc.
 
aardvark said:
i thought they changed the cohabitation rules so its the same as marriage?

i think i'm wrong though after some googling
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I hope they don’t tbh... someone’s girlfriend shouldn’t be entitled to property after moving in IMO. For long term relationships that’s what marriage and civil partnership is for.

Re: op’s Friend I hope she gets some of the stock portfolio as she has contributed there anlso a jointly owned property shouldn’t necessarily be 50-50, then again if she didn’t get any agreement there then that seems silly too.
 
OP is most likely being manipulated by his lady friend who he clearly fancies. She is trying to fleece a guy that has fed her for more than a decade because that wasn't enough for her, nothing ever is. OP will probably be the next she tries to take to the cleaners.

The good news is that she won't get a penny extra apart from the jointly owned stuff as the guy was smart enough not to marry her.
 
NZXT30 said:
OP is most likely being manipulated by his lady friend who he clearly fancies. She is trying to fleece a guy that has fed her for more than a decade because that wasn't enough for her, nothing ever is. OP will probably be the next she tries to take to the cleaners.

The good news is that she won't get a penny extra apart from the jointly owned stuff as the guy was smart enough not to marry her.
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Some woman has really done a number on you in the past haven’t they?
 
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Sounds like financial abuse to me. There is a brand new law out that deals specifically with this. She should go down that route as he has completely taken the pee.
 
Best way to do it would simply be to get him to agree to a reasonable split of the assets based on individual contributions. So she probs gets a portion of portfolio and probs a larger share of joint property she stuck a health deposit down for (like if they contributed equally then 50/50 on the rest after her 200k deposit) - presumably she might want to essentially buy out his share of the house they live in perhaps via giving up her portion of stock portfolio and part of her interest in joint rental property and he can move out. Go see solicitor for advice etc... but might be best to get it finalised amicably as getting into legal disputes could end up costing both more. Ditto to police stuff, that’s surely only an issue if he doesn’t acknowledge that she has a share of the investments and her deposit etc...
 
dowie said:
Best way to do it would simply be to get him to agree to a reasonable split of the assets based on individual contributions. So she probs gets a portion of portfolio and probs a larger share of joint property she stuck a health deposit down for (like if they contributed equally then 50/50 on the rest after her 200k deposit) - presumably she might want to essentially buy out his share of the house they live in perhaps via giving up her portion of stock portfolio and part of her interest in joint rental property and he can move out. Go see solicitor for advice etc... but might be best to get it finalised amicably as getting into legal disputes could end up costing both more. Ditto to police stuff, that’s surely only an issue if he doesn’t acknowledge that she has a share of the investments and her deposit etc...
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She is getting legal advice (he does not know yet) He has issues with money, there will be no amicable split.. He will think he should keep everything apart from her solely owned home,

He is refusing to let her have the rent from her own house or anything from the joint house (she asked him earlier)..

He goes out with his friends and on holiday but she cannot afford it so never goes out or on holiday.. He even makes her pay more for electric if she uses the tumble dryer!
 
edscdk said:
He is refusing to let her have the rent from her own house or anything from the joint house (she asked him earlier)..

He goes out with his friends and on holiday but she cannot afford it so never goes out or on holiday.. He even makes her pay more for electric if she uses the tumble dryer!
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This is pretty relevant info, perhaps should be in the OP. Has he got mental health issues or something?

How can he not let her if she owns the rental house? If they’ve split then that should be quick to resolve as he has no rights to it.

I think perhaps the people saying she should go to the police are right.
 
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