Virginity

I don't see virginity as anything special apart from the fact it is a one-time only thing, once you've lost it then it's gone. I also wouldn't assume that females are unhappy when a male is a virgin or that a male is pleased when a female is a virgin, it very much depends on the person but my view is not that I'm some explorer finding new territory, chances are someone has been here before and I can either live with that or try to pretend that reality isn't what it is which strikes me as a remarkably futile approach.

But while we're on the subject the plastic surgery you can get for a "second virginity" is a load of tosh, putting a fresh coat of paint and new tires on a clapped out Cortina doesn't make it new again, underneath the tarting up it's still a clapped out Cortina, same basic principle here. However... if you do happen to believe that someone can be a virgin for the second time then I've got some magic beans that I'm willing to sell at the very reasonable rate of £1,000 per bean and you seem like the sort of discerning consumer who would benefit from them.
 
Five years or so now since I lost mine and it's not an issue at all to be honest, wasn't anything special either as it usually seems to go :p

I would prefer that a girl had seen some action before as it's all going to lead to better times ahead for yourself if you go that far - in my opinion!
 
DominicStar said:
PS does that mean your girlfriend would rather you are still a virgin? ;)
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Us women (tend to) get stupidly jealous of previous girlfriends. Unless it's totally obvious we're better than them somehow! It's annoying as hell, another one of those useless irrationalities.

Think it's a bit different for us girls as it's rather invasive. If someone regrets sex with someone, it's rubbish and feels distinctly grim because someone you now dislike was once inside you. Urgh.

Whereas for a bloke I gather it's just "Hah, shouldn't have put it in /there/!"
 
I'm 17 and still a virgin. Haven't had a decent relationship in a while either but eh, it's not too important for me.

Too much hype is made of it tbh.
 
sara said:
Us women (tend to) get stupidly jealous of previous girlfriends. Unless it's totally obvious we're better than them somehow! It's annoying as hell, another one of those useless irrationalities.

Think it's a bit different for us girls as it's rather invasive. If someone regrets sex with someone, it's rubbish and feels distinctly grim because someone you now dislike was once inside you. Urgh.

Whereas for a bloke I gather it's just "Hah, shouldn't have put it in /there/!"
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Why would you possibly regret having sex with someone?? :confused:
People you love come and go, life goes on and all that.
I'm sure it was great at the time so why regret it.... you twisted individual. :D
Guess that's women for you. :p

Unless you mean you were too trollied to know what you were up to of course, but then if that were the case I'd actually say, "serves you right". :D
 
nokinidea said:
Why would you possibly regret having sex with someone?? :confused:
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For the very reason I said, it's all very intrusive. It's just a different mentality - I couldn't tell you if it was instinctual or socially-conditioned.

You have to accept we're different, yeah? Why else do we sit on opposite sides of the pub, men saying "Women, eh?" and women saying "Typical man!" :P
 
nokinidea said:
Why would you possibly regret having sex with someone?? :confused:
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I only regret one occasion, it was rubbish and a complete waste of time, with someone who possibly wasn't worth wasting the time with...(and I hadn't been drinking so can't even blame that!)

It may be different for some women, but generally we regard sex as a more 'personal' thing than men, mainly due to the reason Sara gave above and as a result, regret it more if it didn't go so well
 
1) Your virginity, your childhood and your credit rating are all kind of similar in some ways.

They are intangible inventions someone else has ascribed to you. If you were not told you had them, you wouldn't know. When you are aware you have them, you might feel some sadness at losing them, or knowing someone else who has lost theirs. When you lose them people treat you differently. They exist for the benefit of other people's relationship with you.

2) If I was paying 2.5 million to take someone's virginity, I would use a rubber cheque. I would also have several cracks at it to make sure the job was thoroughly done.

3) The concept of virginity probably has value in small closed cultures (historically) to help to confirm parenthood and avoid interbreeding. Also to help reduce STIs.
 
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im 17 soon and havnt done it yet.

im not really that botherd at the moment, although i do feel like abit of a tool when it comes up in convo.

i get nervous around most girls, specially the hot ones which is pathetic and not going to get me anywhere. ive only 'really' kissed a girl once and i hated it lol.

I remember when i was asked out by a girl who i had liked (and still like) for the past year, i said no. why? cos i was nervous. i really really regret not saying yes, but the really silly thing is that i know if she was to ask again...id probably say no again!

so yea my self esteem sucks badly. its pretty worrying actually.

i dont know about you guys, but there is not really very much preasure on me to do it, which i think is the reason most people do it so young these days. Not sure if its just the area i live or something.

so yea wel see,
 
EdGey said:
i dont know about you guys, but there is not really very much preasure on me to do it, which i think is the reason most people do it so young these days. Not sure if its just the area i live or something.
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I don't think there is that much pressure for most people at all, it's just people convince themselves that there is.
 
I'm female.

didn't give mine up until I was good and ready, probably because I'm a stubborn cow. My first proper boyfriend (I was 16, he was 19) cheated on me 3 times because I wasn't ready to put out and I thank my lucky stars that I didn't give in to that ******.

I waited until I was ready, purely because I didn't want to be someones one night stand. I'm still really good friends with my long term ex that I lost my V-plates to and he was a virgin as well. We were both 18, slept together 4 months after getting together and we were together for a further 4.5 years.

No regrets, just the way it should be.
 
EdGey said:
im 17 soon and havnt done it yet.

im not really that botherd at the moment, although i do feel like abit of a tool when it comes up in convo.

i get nervous around most girls, specially the hot ones which is pathetic and not going to get me anywhere. ive only 'really' kissed a girl once and i hated it lol.

I remember when i was asked out by a girl who i had liked (and still like) for the past year, i said no. why? cos i was nervous. i really really regret not saying yes, but the really silly thing is that i know if she was to ask again...id probably say no again!

so yea my self esteem sucks badly. its pretty worrying actually.

i dont know about you guys, but there is not really very much preasure on me to do it, which i think is the reason most people do it so young these days. Not sure if its just the area i live or something.

so yea wel see,
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Man, seriously go ask her out if she's into you. And I've never in my life heard of someone who does'nt like kissing :eek:
 
EdGey said:
im 17 soon and havnt done it yet.

im not really that botherd at the moment, although i do feel like abit of a tool when it comes up in convo.

i get nervous around most girls, specially the hot ones which is pathetic and not going to get me anywhere. ive only 'really' kissed a girl once and i hated it lol.

I remember when i was asked out by a girl who i had liked (and still like) for the past year, i said no. why? cos i was nervous. i really really regret not saying yes, but the really silly thing is that i know if she was to ask again...id probably say no again!

so yea my self esteem sucks badly. its pretty worrying actually.

i dont know about you guys, but there is not really very much preasure on me to do it, which i think is the reason most people do it so young these days. Not sure if its just the area i live or something.

so yea wel see,
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you are looking at saying no in a bad way but instead should be looking at it in a very good way.

be thankful you are experiencing these things and making mistake which you can learn from. now next time another (or even the same) girl asks you out you'll be slightly more prepared, perhaps you'll say no again but once again it's another lesson to learn from.

the only bad thing is if you learn bugger all from it and forget your mistakes. don't regret your past be thankful the mistake happened now for the first time and not when you are 30 etc. :)
 
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